Maine Ideas

To Kill Kejahilan?

2010-11-06T06:56:00.005+08:00

I remember once Uncle Aziz told me, 'human kind nowadays would fight by using their intelligence and selfishness.' He said that after his forearms was badly bruised by a very blunt parang when he tried to help a stranger's luxury car from being stolen.

He tried all his might to help including banging the thief's car with his -- while other people just used their intelligence and selfishness; call the police or sit and watch.

... a far cry from the Rasulullah s.w.t's age when people fight far and wide with sweat and blood to spread the truth and to kill kejahilan.

If I had existed in that age or even in the Star Wars movie and I'm asked to fight like other men, hell I will, hellufa fun!

If we have more of people like my uncle around, that would be more comforting. He's the kind that would try to make people laugh, tell stories and helps out fiercely.

I woke up recently, suddenly all worried about Amer. As I was about to go through a tongue battle at work. What if it leads to me losing my job, will my husband suddenly find a sense of rejection he never knew would come up for me, will I stop being able to also buy things at an impulse for the family, oh no... I wouldn't be able to provide to mom anymore tho of course she could feed herself. My sense of validity will be gone, that's what I was so worried of. Which.... wickedly, all falls on ownership of material, of ego.

And why do I keep bothering if things are well for everyone, if I failed that day, would anyone help me out? The answer is the obvious grave dark 'NO!'.

No Sex in the City

2010-09-06T17:45:00.006+08:00

jaz77: awak

blademaine: apa

jaz77: awak..how was ibunda?

blademaine: ini mesti u tak jadi pegi ni

jaz77: laa...cakap laa..how was it?

blademaine: ok la

jaz77: ok je?

jaz77: awak duduk luar ke dalam?

blademaine: alamak lupa posa

jaz77: cheh

jaz77: kita tanya lain awak cakap lain..ni tak pegi la kot ibunda tu?

blademaine: tak pegiiiiiiii

jaz77: what??

jaz77: why. what happened la?

blademaine: hahah.... Rizal decided to cook instead.

jaz77: me and sofia had a great time

jaz77: we loooooooveeeeeee the food

blademaine: i rasa korang kawin kot

jaz77: dia dah kawen la

jaz77: we took lots of pictures

jaz77: we talked

jaz77: we laughed

jaz77: we smoked

jaz77: we ate

blademaine: ok.....kompem kawin

jaz77: ...if she was single..they would be *we had sex* somewhere in there

jaz77: camne nak kawen..dia dah kawen la awakkk

blademaine: can u please not kill the subject!!!!!
it's just for the hell of a conversation la

blademaine: u can't have sex in a restaurant can u

jaz77: hahaha

jaz77: eer..can

jaz77: kalau ambik private room boleh

blademaine: kepala howtak u la

jaz77: quicky la...

jaz77: ala macam cerita cerita mat salleh tu

jaz77: anywaysss...the food was awesome la wak

blademaine: citer mat salleh? citer ninja boleh la kot

jaz77: plus the ghazal band was superb

blademaine: gayut kat lampu

jaz77: gayut kat lampu? wow..thats a new one..havent seen that one before

jaz77: must be monkey style

blademaine: u ni bowdowh la

blademaine: haaa, dengan dua 'w' lagi

jaz77: ooooo

blademaine: oooo apa

jaz77: oooo la la

blademaine: u baru tawu ye u tu tak pandai

jaz77: baru je tawu...sebab semalam tak makan tahu..

jaz77: awak kalau ada time awak try la gi ibunda buka posa

jaz77: memang best la awak

blademaine: looks like i got to do it tmrw

jaz77: dia bagi air botol sarsi, ice cream soda yang old skool tu

jaz77: Mui Teng Loong Hup Kee Sdn Bhd..di buat di Kota Bharu

jaz77: got pulut kukus makan dengan ikan masin got ikan kukus

jaz77: got rendang tok with lemang and ketupat

jaz77: laksa asam dia gila powerrrr

blademaine: wuiyo

jaz77: sup campur (paru, perut, limpa, daging, ayam)

jaz77: ikan bakar ngan peha kambing goreng

jaz77: and that is just the stalls punya food

jaz77: the main dish is lamb shank, ayam ntah apa benda, daging kicap and udang galah gulai

jaz77: oh, they also got udang galah masak lomak cili padi

jaz77: fuuuhhh...

jaz77: buah kurma dipped in white chocolate and milk chocolate

blademaine: hogh my GOd

jaz77: i got the pictures..tunggu sofia update blog dia

jaz77: and the nasi bryani..is the best i have ever tasted in my life

jaz77: worth mentioning would be the air botol

jaz77: pulut kukus with ikan masin, asam laksa kowwww dia

jaz77: and the bryani rice

jaz77: owh and the kicap cili goreng

jaz77: we believe the cili telah digoreng sebelum di kicapkan

jaz77: the taste is quite unbelieaveble

blademaine: i think sebab u dilamun cinta laaaa

blademaine: tu sebab semuanya beyootipool

jaz77: no lah..Shangri La Putrajaya sucked

blademaine: really?

jaz77: good thing the view compensated for it all

jaz77: yup...it sucked

jaz77: infact Grand Dorsett Subang is much better..at least got oysters, sushi, sup gearbox and the amazing cheesecake

blademaine: tell me.... brapa kali dah dating ni?

jaz77: 2 kali je

jaz77: bulan ramadhan ni, pastu temankan dia hantar kuih kat ampang..

blademaine: nak pegi merisik nanti... I NAK IKUT!

Don't Take it Away from us.

2010-07-04T13:47:00.005+08:00

I watched Majalah 3 last night about 'Pengawet'. About this 70 year old man who is the ONLY pakar pengawet (taxidermist) in Malaysia. His work is brilliant, I think
it is the expertise of a neurosurgeon and an artist put together. Strange that only
the older generation that still leaves hints of patient labours, such as tukang ukir, tukang awet, tukang tenun etc. Newer generations -- anything that produces fast results please.

It's a long impending thought about abolishing PMR and UPSR.

I wonder what triggered people to realise that our students are too prepared for study hard pattern, there are too many thoughts read in the papers.

So does it mean SPM is the only valid exam? To prove that it will not make Malaysian students study study study study aje?

________________________________________

I dunno, I just want to nurture my intuition to address this matter, on not just Malaysian, but all Asians jiwa. Jiwa kita, jiwa seni, kalau bukan, jiwa pemikir, kalau bukan pun, jiwa berbakti pada tanah. If we have travelled to Thailand, Indonesia, Myanmar, Laos, Japan, Korea these virtues on jiwa orang Asia are totally nurtured and people are way lot more tenteram and their country's identity is a lot more protected.

1. It all balls down to child and parentage relationship.
2. It balls down too on what newly married couples want in their marriage.

I wonder if it is fair to say 80% of people who makan gaji like me out there wonders if this is it to life? Five days week going through just sapping happy energy from work mates or probable 5 months bonus at the end of the year.

What happens when our child could not finish his lego set to build a simple house is snatched away because it makes the hall looks cluttered too long.

What happens when our child repeats about helicopters or Transformers a hundred times untiresomely and we just ignore it.

What happens when our child ask us, 'What is this mama?' we just shrug them off.

And then in contrary we wonder why our society just love short lived entertainment such as reading URTV that doesn't teach anyone anything, and short lived spirit lifting Akademi Fantasia.

As compared to kids whose parents who nurture them when they reach the park and all they wanted to find is a piece of stick that dropped down from the tree. Or a little pebble that looks exactly like a little egg, or catch a baby prawn from the heavily flowing stream.

How come peole do not wonder why the Eastern people have the capability to build something from scratch, follow a very methodical steps to grow an idea or curiosity and when they reach their results, would even measure that result.

And throughout carrying out their idea that becomes a business such as Google for example, people who are raised to know only how to carry out routine things will makan gaji for them to reach their results.

Because we do not have the patience to wait for the damn results, maybe because when we grow up, we tried to learn how to use the sewing machine, but mom got tired of the wasted expensive threads and dad thinks it is dangerous, so we had to stop. Then we tried to take up art, but mom and dad thinks that all artists are nobody.

Moms and dads think, graduating and securing a job with the world's giants is the only promising way to a successful life.

Selagi moms and dads lebih sebok habiskan masa makan gaji sampai malam, would their children discover the so many wonders of life within nature, within their curiosity?

... and the vicious cycle continues kan.

Kalau negara nak berjaya, dua benda kena buat. Whether we like it or not, women are the moulders of the society. If the government enforces work from home policies for women as soon as they have their first child and also enforces childhood psychology for every women to learn since secondary school, it may start altering something.

Perhaps better used soil, perhaps instead of more artisans, we get world reknowned architects, perhaps more political and economics writers.

The Blind Side.

2010-06-06T16:39:00.002+08:00

It's been so long since I last wrote a movie review.

That's obviously because I haven't come across an ol' skool storyline and movie concept to watch. Sci-fi movies hardly have anything anyone can learn from.

I was very pleased to see how Sandra Bullock had improved herself.

'The Blind Side'.... just a perfect movie for me while going through my current phase; motherhood; which do not necessarily denote one can be one only if we bear our own child and that's so beautiful.

The movie is about a black boy from the bronx who was unintentionally adopted by an upper middle class white family. Mike, that's his name, very nimble with ball games and that somehow got him into a good high school.

What caught my deepest interest was when Sandra was studying Mike's academic background and found that almosts everything fared way below average, except for one -- protective instincts. Mike scores 98% for it.

Now... I'll skip the whole story line. This movie is based on a true story, so I want to know how protective instincts is being measured.

To my surprise, google, yahoo search, only gave me results which relates protective instincts to virtues of dogs!!!

The least what's written in the cyberspace should try to relate protective instincts to daddies or husbands. But NONE, ZILCH, TAKDE!

Kalau nak google for characteristics tests for other characteristics punya la banyak ada.

You know... sometimes, it is not just through havings pets at home that could help to bridge the gap in certain families, it could also be through adopting a child or having an extended parent. Something like having a love energizer.

To digress back to the movie, I think Sandra Bullock and Big Mike did a great job at making the characters touch its viewers' hearts.

2010-03-24T22:56:00.007+08:00

I hate browsing around the malls unless it is the biweekly grocery indulgence.

What a bliss that there's more and more reason to explore other places. Places that put us so so close to nature - toddlers friendly places.

Love the fuzzy feeling of seeing Amer making his little house out of our big pillows yet sometimes he pretends he sits in a 'lori minyak'.... "viuuummm! viuummm!"

I wish I could transform myself into a little girl to just fit perfectly into his world.

I'm so thankful to Play House Disney Channel, there's Word World, there's Tigger and Pooh, Handy Manny, Mickey Mouse.... they taught Amer in so many interesting ways, which in turn taught me and his papa.

He's still never violent, yet... always cracking into laughters.

There was a few times, I caught him pretending to go to corners of the doors and nooks of the house and in the motion of picking something up, and continue picking. And then he comes to me and hand 'those' things to me. When I asked him what they were, he sometimes says 'Stobeyee (strawberry) mama!' Ohhhh how much I envy his imaginations, he must be thinking that he's in Pooh's world, running his naked feet on the grass freely, picking fruits and catching butterflies.

Finally, we got to bring him over to Cameron Highlands. It was my first time there too.

He puked and barfed his way up when we started the bends up. Luckily he doesn't get moody.

It's ok, we'll keep wiping his puke off no matter how many times, as long as we get to see his fixation towards big wide fields and colourful flowers.

Meals were very rewarding to me, if it was Thailand, I would wait to see how many different types of Tom Yams they would serve, if it was Indonesia, I would wait to see how many types of delicious sambals they would make.

Here, I bet the hotels are never short of fresh veges and fruits, after all, they don't have to go through middle sellers, they are just outside their hotels. What I imagined about their fried rice and lauk is right!

They don't fail to serve all kinds of bubur, like bubur ubi keledek, strawberry jams on scones in the morning, fried rice full of fresh corn and carrots, fat fresh mushrooms in their carbonara soup... woowwhhhhhh!!!!

It was a great weekend, tho I want everyday to be like this. I hope that day will come soon.

Lotsa Luv Baybe!

2010-03-08T18:37:00.005+08:00

For old times sakes, I pre planned what I should look like for attending his concert.
Reminiscing the good years of tea dance, Modestos, Unos, Brannigans and making ssssuree the clothes are not worn twice.

Got myself a small little black dress which I miss squeezing my butt into. Snake skin stilletos, Givenchy EDT, extra extra mascara. Who knows if I could get a close up on him, gambar wajib ambiiiikkkk!!!!

I was not at all expecting a showmanship laden concert... looking at his shy persona. More like there could just be songs rendered with his guitars. I'd cut a finger if he doesn't sing at least one unplugged number.

Much to our surprise. He was funny, sharing what it was like to get to stardom and how he cheated his way out to be able to meet Jackson 5 by impersonating to be a teacher in his own school through a phone call to the Jackson's PR.

We breathed in his classy medleys; that includes...

Can We Talk - Tevin Campbell
I wanna rock with you - Bobby Brown
Every TIme I Close My Eyes - Babyface
FOr the Cool in You - LL Cool J
My, My, My - Johnny Gill
I'll make love to you - Boyz II Men
A Song for Mama - Boyz II Men
Ready Or Not
Don't Be Cruel - Bobby Brown
Every Little Step I Take - Bobby Brown

Eegaddd!!! That got our hormones circulating right to end of all our senses.

Who would have imagined that one composer can save an event from humongous costs of collaborating so many big starts to line up those songs in one and half hour?

He sang it just as good!

"I've had the privilege of working in the studio for hours and hours with Michael Jackson. I must say that we are lucky to live in his era.... when little kids are still amazed with his moonwalk and sing his songs. I must assure you, his cause are real, they are really from his heart."

Then he rendered 'Gone Too Soon' in tribute to MJ.

Nope, didn't take any pictures at all. Everything's recorded in my head and in here.

Thank goodness there is KL Convention Centre, those who think tanked his tour, husb and Ash who both enjoyed the evening just as much.

Mare E Tara.

2010-02-28T15:10:00.007+08:00

It was just a simple Valentine's dinner, just the three of us. Yeap.... there's no way we could leave the little tot behind anymore nowadays tho we thought the older he gets, the more time we could steal away from him.

Pizza Bella Italia has been in SS2 for more than 10 years,my then insurance agent would take me there to inform me of the latest investment stuff and introduced me to Mare E Tara. Oouugghhh... that gorrrrgeous seafood in spicy zingy tomato soup.

I always thought any restaurateur would not part from their recipes.

'By annnyy chance, you'd tell me the recipe of this soup plleasseee!'

'Oh.... of COUURSEEEE! Give me a minute' Adam was signalling his normal Italian sign, making an 'o' shape using the index finger and thumb.

Later he came back with a piece of paper in his hand.

It goes like this:

Chop llloots of garlic, finely

Use olive oil or butter... but NO palm oil, NO NO! The smella different!

Saute garlic in oil until the smell comes out, not until brown. Just saute.

Then add water, add crab. Let it boil. We don't have time to make stocks, this issa shortcut.

Use tomato puree and chopped tomato, add puree in crab soup first and then salt.

Add some La La, fresh La La, you can only find in Selayang market aaaa.

Prawn.

When soup is boiling, add paprika. If I cook at home, I will also add lime leafs.

Then finally, add chopped tomato, if too cooked it is not crunchy anymore!

I tell yah, Italians are always fierce when they share their cooking intelligence.

Now... I'm thinking when could be the right time and who's the right people for me to treat this gorgeous soup for.

When Loneliness is Bliss.

2010-02-02T09:38:00.005+08:00

I could not really count how many people around me who are actually a peacemaker... or at least... MY peacemaker.

People say... to retreat or to mengalah is always the best way to win.

... or in other means... just keep silent and find solace from within.

I keep reflecting a life changing dream I had just before I turned 30.

I was walking in a very spacious house that has such a well grown in door garden.

I was spending quiet time watching the green that is separated from the hall by floor to ceiling well cleaned glass.

I could hear the family moving about minding their own things yet it didn't distract my pondering.

Then I attempted to walk to another indoor garden patch.

...... then I felt something sharp hitting my chest. It came from within.

In a minute, I fell on the floor.

...... immediately I felt myself gliding in mid air. I had soft white linen dress covering my body and it is such a comfortable outfit.

Small commotion going on where I fell, I looked at myself and rested myself again on the sofa where I started and continued pondering at the garden.

My body was then lifted from the floor and I heard people weeping, crying.

Until today I remember that dream so vividly.

The feeling of leaving this life isn't all that bad. I could feel the intense feeling of serenity the mind is so free and peaceful.

It was so real.

When I woke up, I wondered if it meant of any awakening, or a renewal.

_____________

Everytime I felt hostility, which is what this world is so full of, I would take myself into that dream again. Where loneliness is bliss. So I would be able to break a smile and face this world.

Amer.... my loyal companion. Throughout the weekend, he would sit peacefully beside me when we go out.

We were attempting to go to One Utama on a weekend when everybody's trying to do their last minute Chinese New Year shopping.

I was hoping I didn't have to search too long and make Amer all giddy.

I thought I'd stop on a lane and just wait for someone to leave, and kept reminding Amer, 'kita dah nak sampai'.

Suddenly where was a knock on my right screen.

A Chinese man with a bright smile signalling to me that he's moving his X4 out and that I should move backwards to take over the spot.

I was so happy, in five minutes we got a spot right beside the lift when outside.... the cars are parked all the way within the housing area.

Then that man, came back and said "Ma'am, give me awhile, I'm getting my parking fee done first ok." I said thank you profusely.

Later, he drove out and waved very respectfully.

I felt like it didn't matter if I needed to browse the mall with Amer anymore.

A little kindness mend a little something within me.

We were both running around the New Wing indoor garden while Amer strutts around to see all the fish he wants. I guess this is his time to feel a little of what I felt in my dream; freedom!

'I SEE YOU'.

2010-01-06T23:33:00.005+08:00

As usual, I'm so anal about what I need to remember.

.....

All I can say:

For that kind of mega results, it takes a team of unchanged personnel,

it takes a team of people who believe in the person who first conceived the idea,

it takes a team of people who believe that when they are in a goal to be the pioneer of an idea, they would complete it yet before any probable competitor.

it takes a great leader to move them in such majestic unison; which then translates to likewise of a results.

So.... James Cameron and his crew are all lucky -- to have worked with each other.

15 years is worth all that sweat and blood.

_________________________________________________

I particularly like the phrase 'I see you'.

How simple it is to denote that one person is able to see the intentions behind its actions of another. Understanding beyond verbal elaboration.

If humankind can still do this, the way the aborigines could, there could be so many mishaps that could be avoided, in fact, more love could go around.

Human of today's age, are no longer inate. It's the problem to all problems.

_________________________________________________

I was in my own playground, my fantasy came true and was just too elated that I share my fantasies with someone. I think 90% of it was really translated into illustration in this movie.

I have always begged to Allah swt, that if I'm granted to be in heaven, could I have a big majestic bird which has really long feathers.

So that I could fly downwards vertically, tho we may be able to do it on our own. But it would be a lot of fun to ride dangerously when we are immortal.

Could I make it fly just right above the water with just one wing slightly scooping the lake water.

Could I also have a big charcoal brown horse and ride super fast on jungle terrains.

And then, a bottle nosed big white dolphin to piggy back me within the deepest ocean.

I always think that freedom of movement is the best form of freedom.

____________________________________________________

This world is full of nature's infinite beauty... that I don't think I could ever have enough, especially in terms of nurturing them.

Half of the people who watched Avatar thinks, it's got nothing to do with any storyline, it's just about enjoying the latest technology.

It confirms that people perceive things which they see differently.

But it doesn't matter, coz as far as James Cameron is concerned.... I See Him Too!

___________________________________________

Life's rainbow.

2009-11-17T15:18:00.005+08:00

Phone call....

"You're asking ME to buy a vacuum cleaner?"

"Alaaaa, it's an innovative invention la, if you and your kids are suffering from sinus, you might learn one or two really new things from the demo ok!"

"Ok..... how much?"

"U listen to them first laaa. It's like insurance, you listen now, but not necessarily buy now, three years down the road kee."

"The demo is tonite, u sure that thing don't shoot if I decided not to buy?"

"I'm still alive right?"

"Ko tak beli pas tu suruh aku BELI?"

...................

That nite.... SMS "Nope, it doesn't do bjs!"

I was just giggling away with my husb at that.

NEXT DAY .....

baibon: New Volkswagen Scirocco fits my need exactly- power, handling, looks good to

Mainey #: I like Skoda Roomster

baibon: But I wont be buying it because the price is at a ridiculous RM260k

Mainey: But... you spent stupid amount of money on fixing your Alfa.

baibon: which brings me to my point

baibon: The water-vacum-that-doesnt-do-blowjobs is great but for nearly RM8k? it's ridiculously overpriced

baibon: if it's sub RM4k then I would've bought it on the spot

baibon: anyways except for the ability to become an air cleaner there's nothing special about the unit apart from being really high quality and I assume excellent support/warranty

Mainey #: Zain..... u bought your remote airplanes for how much?

baibon: For RM8k I would've bought a 52inch TV

Mainey #: ok laaa ok laaaa

baibon: those habuk/dust mites they show? they've been around us for thousands of years- it is in EVERY home, our antibodies handle them naturally.

Mainey #: okaaay okaay okaay

baibon: It's good to have la but not necessary unless your house really really kotor/dusty environment

baibon: all I ask for that price is a blowjob functionality- is that too much to ask for?

Mainey #: nanti i cross ref ngan Iskandar

baibon: I saw his name in the list - dia tangkap satu

baibon: ....sucker

baibon: hahaha

Mainey #: seeeeeriouuussss??? but he said his mom has 4 of those already

Mainey #: that his mom collects vacuum cleaners dowh

Mainey #: ok la, I pegi pinjam la dia punya *cheapskate

baibon: pinjam why? didnt I tell you it doesnt do bjs?

Mainey #: zain, i'm a woman.... remember?

baibon: yeah but it helps you do your work

Mainey #: oh yeaaaaahhh laaaaa

The Secret - my version

2009-10-28T23:00:00.007+08:00

Ashe: Ooooo, ko jumpa Rizal Shah ada masa, ngan aku asyik kensel. Takpe la, aku sedar sekarang sapa diri aku ni.

Mainey: Daaaah laaa tuu, drama king pulak laaaa buruk sunggoh. If you can drive over to my area, we have lunch together. Come over this Friday?

Ashe: I am putting it down the second time in my Blackberry and I'M NOT cancelling it again! Dah la tak jumpa dah 20 years, ajak bukak posa boleh lak datang cam VIP kul 10!

Mainey: Eh, I ni kan blue blood, kira bagus la I nak mencemar duli tau!. Okaaayy, okaaayyy. Jom makan, put time put place.

Facebook has its advantages and disadvantages. But I like that it does this to me, I found my childhood friends in Damansara Utama, those who played adang-adang, teng-teng, basikal with me.

And I found most of my primary school mates, one of the best times of my life.

Ash: U ingat tak Raymond?

Mainey: Of course la I ingat, I always thought he's a phoney rich kid. But.... takkan la whole year through he could treat us all 20 orang for those free McD's and KFC meals kan?

Ash: Eih, his company is now supporting Google Asia and Microsoft Asia ok! Dah la mamat tu one time kitaorang panggil dia Muhammad Raymond, dia mati-mati nak masuk Islam.

Mainey: Serious?

Ash: Not anymore la, lepas dia jumpa awek Cina. And remember Haris we met that day?

Mainey: Yeah, he gave me his card masa bukak posa hari tu. VP of Khazanah... but Khazanah kan full of VPs?

Ash: That is just one of his portfolio babe. He is sitting on BOD for CIMB ok!

Mainey: But he was like a nucleus dowh kat sekolah, biar benar!

Ash: And Fazlan, anak Txxxxxx Ramli tu, kan you jumpa dia jugak. Nampak sempoi je kan.

Ash: He handles quite a sum of his dad's properties. Come nanti kita gi ranch dia sesama kat Kuang. The best horses around are in his ranch.

Mainey: Oh, I remember... the whole family never had any air of snobbishness. He was telling me about his two kids and how he needs to spend more time with them.

Ash: Ikhwan you tak jumpa kan.

Mainey: I saw him walking towards his car. Dia tak bawak wife dia ye?

Ash: Wardina? Eh, I told him not to la, nanti semua orang tak leh focus. Hahhaha!

Mainey: You sorang je la yang bother nak buat gathering suma ni.

Ash: Eh, kat sekolah kita ada ke bercakap?

Mainey: Mana adaaaa, you tu sikit lagi nak kena tampar by me ada laa.

Ash: Apsal?

Mainey: Sesuka hati nak cium orang depan cikgu. Budak gila!

He was laughing his head off. 'Ah, ah, dulu Nina Kxxxxla.... dia kejar aku dengar ruler besi, nasib baik tak belubang peha aku! Aku pegang tangan dia jeeee.'

.......

Being in my line of profession, doubled up with being the second in its ecosystem, there's only so much superficial conversations -- over trade shows, over demanding principal, over change management, over high attrition rate.

T'built a barrier around me, thou shall not speak unless spoken to. Coz I will speak to only those I know, for the sakes of self preservation.

...

We went on talking over lunch coz I know, stuff on facebook would intrigue him to delve further, I just wanted to know how old friends are doing.

Then came the question, "Ko nak keje makan gaji berapa lama lagi ni? Mind me for jumping the gun. Our communication gap was 24 years, but coming from a guy who spoke to thousands of loan applicants... rugi la ko ni tak buat something on your own."

......

Ko tanak dengar la apa yang aku buat. Thank God my husband je has the same vibes.

Aku penat penat datang ni, ko jgn tanak citer sampai habis. Shoot it now please eh!

Ok! But... don't laugh!

... we want to venture into agriculture. Yeah... we don't know shit about it, but at least the affection on the idea is there.

Wooohhhh! *He shook my hand. I'm looking forward to that too.

Then, he went on talking about his cousin's farm of sheeps in Taiping, and how it is done with state of the art agrotech with... a lot of love.

I smiled at him and said that I probably can't really get onto hands-on models. It is 'kayu gaharu' I am looking at.

Then he said 'Jatropha'?

Shit..... you know about it?

Of course! I know about it inside out cuma tanah aje aku takde - you got land?

And I probably know about it 1/5 of what you know but about land, I'm working on it.

We both just stared at each other.... in hundreds and thousands of friends, what is the possibilities of someone forcing you to meet up again after two decades, let alone the possibilities of speaking about the most obscure agriculture idea.

It boggles my mind again, on Law of Attraction and what we doa for.

..... God, You Are The Ultimate wonder.

Hajat Mama.

2009-10-06T22:38:00.005+08:00

Tahun lepas mama tak dapat balik KB, masa tu dah masuk third trimester. Tahun sebelum tu; 2007, mama was still single. Your papa, who was then still courting me, dapat berpuasa dengan mama sampai malam sebelum raya pertama kat KB sebelum orang kat KB ingat Tok We Mo (your maternal great grand mother) tu tiba-tiba terlebih sporting bagi bakal cucu menantu tidur kat rumah.

Tiap-tiap tahun sejak Allahyarham Tok We Mi (your maternal great grandfather) meninggal, mama cuba ikut routine raya dia. You know Amer, he's such a father figure to the whole family. He just needs to say things once, semua takkan banyak cakap, ikut aje.

Pagi Raya, yang perempuan siapkan kuih, breakfast, gosok baju, sapu rumah and stack up all the tilam and bantal yang terbentang banyak-banyak depan tv.

Lepas breakfast, all the men will go for sembahyang raya, baru yang perempuan masuk bilik, dress up. Tok We Mo will surely make her cucu pakai barang kemas purba dia tu.

Sudah waktu sembahyang barulah kita semua bersalaman, pas duit raya.

Lepas tu terus rumah yang boleh tahan sempit tu mula penuh. Agaknya ruang guest room boleh muat 10 orang aje atas sofa, dining table iye la 6 orang, lepas tu 6 - 7 orang bersila atas lantai.

Macam tu la sampai ke senja.

Dulu masa mama muda lagi, mesti mama komplen aje tak sudah. Orang lain raya dapat bejalan, dapat melawa. Mama kena buat air teh, basuh cawan, ganti pinggan. Walaupun beramai buat kerja tapi tetap penat sangat.

Lepas tu baru mama sedar, tetamu rumah tu adalah rezeki. Sampai sekarang, daripada orang yang datang tu lah macam-macam info boleh dapat, semua orang ikhlas sangat kalau nak kongsi info. Slowly, mama belajar tolong layan guests, tak kira tua ke, warak sangat ke, anak cucu orang ke.

Suara Allahyarham Tok We Mi selalu yang paling clear, boleh didengar dari dapur.

Mama tak ingat apa yang diborakkan, tapi mama ingat tone suara orang yang datang. Semuanya ramah, semuanya berbunyi kasih.

Raya kedua baru lah boleh pegi satu dua rumah waktu pagi. Mesti take turns adik beradik supaya ada orang jaga rumah.

Tapi pagi raya kedua, kita semua ke kubur dulu.

Masa tu, tanah kubur keluarga kita baru ada liang lahat untuk lima orang aje kot.

Amer, kali ni, mama balik bawak anak mama, bawak suami mama.

Mama cuma nak semua orang dalam keluarga mama satu hari nanti kalau bukan sekarang, ingat, kita kat dunia ni sekejap saja.

Mama selalu imagine bila kita semua berkumpul bertingkat generasi in the afterlife. Arwah daddy mama mesti suka sangat kalau dia dapat hidup sampai kenal cucu. Tahu tak, your arwah nenek (paternal great grandmother) will surely riba you lama-lama and take you for a long evening walks kalau dia masih ada.

Kita beruntung tau, sebab kita dilahirkan dalam agama yang janjikan kita akhirat, bukannya reincarnation. Kita kena faham kenapa.

Amer nampak tak anak kambing kat tengah-tengah tu. You thought it was a cat!

Tahun ni, mama memang tak dapat ziarah banyak rumah di KB. Tahun depan pun agaknya kita tak balik, tengok lah keadaan, walaupun kalau boleh, selagi ada Tok We Mo, kita mesti temankan dia masa Raya.

I'm glad your papa took this photo. Amer, ingat ok, orang yang nak doakan kita masa hidup pun belum tentu ada. Ini kan lagi untuk yang dah tak ada.

Itu salah satu ukuran sejauh mana kita sayangkan orang.

Leader Bleeder

2009-10-01T15:36:00.005+08:00

"The man who is worthy of being a leader of men will never complain about
the stupidity of his helpers, the ingratitude of mankind nor the inappreciation
of the public. These are all a part of the great game of life. To
meet them and overcome them and not to go down before them in disgust,
discouragement of defeat - that is the final proof of power."

- William J. H. Boetcker

If I were to read that towards 20 something pemakan gaji, they'd tune out--'I do not understand, what it is all about'. Or perhaps they'd nod in pretence of understanding.

.......

Would it be delusional for me to say I understood what being a leader is, what it can do, what it can destroy, so much earlier in life.

I saw what it did to late daddy, what it did to my mom, now.... what it is doing to me.

.... that it teaches me to understand specialization by gender. It puts that belief that if women can be a leader, it has to be done only with humility, with compassion.

What a disgrace to see the sight of women leaders who lose their feminisme the way Rafidah does it.

What a disgrace to see the sight of men leaders who makes workplace their territory for personal glory.

Leading is through being the one who keeps others engaged to your sense of guardianship.

Leading is through letting other people see their own qualities with clarity.

Leading is to have interest in having sincerity to work with people who can be better than us.

Today is the day I get that harsh flashbacks of my past comrades. The people who'd spend their dollars and cents, their sweat and blood, not primarily to chase money coz we hardly speak about it, but to keep everyone in the team up in pride, to keep the fun lingering.

..... I'm here and so far, I have proven that all our legacies are that of respectful substance.

If they are not blind and if I'm not full of myself and think I'm really holier than thou, that my personal integrity surpasses the need for silly signs of appreciation from people who don't matter to me.

Though, there is this very thin line where all that can just break into a thousand pieces like a thin piece of glass and hurt with great mess to everyone who steps on it.

The don'ts about what I eat.

2009-05-18T09:19:00.006+08:00

First of all, I hate it when others want me to taste their food and they'd plonk it right in the middle of mine. That soooo should not be the way maaaan. I so damn pantang when I wanna have a damn good plate of carbonara pasta and someone just place a dollop of curry veal shank right there in the middle, spoils the whole damn thing.

Chicken Porridge

Porridge is not a porridge if it doesn't come with:
finely sliced young ginger
fried chopped garlic
squeezed lime

What makes it different than consuming rice is in the taste of one suddenly discovering the taste of the zingy ginger being bitten and the sour taste of lime that goes into the mouth but not within every spoon and the pungent taste of crunchy garlic.

That's the thing that makes chicken porridge different.

Malay Rice Meals

Makanan orang melayu is supposed to be just like our ancestors in the past; moderate, instead of elaborate.

It is in how one dish complements another onto the tongue, how the few type of tastes give us a myriad of gastronomical thoughts.

That's why, in Nasi Berlauk Kelantan, it is supposed to be only:
i. Nasi putih
ii. Gulai Kuning Ikan Tongkol (usually cooked with belimbing besi and some long beans).
iii. Sambal Tomato and Cili Merah (nooo belachan in there!)

There, you have vege, something spicy, something lemak accompanying the rich taste of ikan tongkol.

And one will get ultimate satisfaction in just having:
i. Kurma Chicken/Beef
ii. Ikan masin
iii. Sambal Belachan
in this concoction, you must make sure it is eaten with steamy hot rice. Foohhh!!!
and if anyone suddenly pour ikan masak asam pedas in it, youuuuuu will know what I meaaann when things shouldn't mix OK!

You might end up kena mandi kuah asam pedas!

Tonight, I am going to have Kurma chicken with potatoes and long beans in it together with ikan tenggiri bakar to be eaten with budu (the superb mind food of the aristocrats) and sambal cili mentah.

And hopefully all that will help me to wake up tomorrow feeling like a superhero.

*Wink!

Yang Membingitkan.

2009-05-13T20:06:00.003+08:00

Memang..... dunia ini, aku pandang ke kanan.... ke kiri.... menakutkan.

Agaknya, sebab aku terlalu banyak melalui perjalanan melihat dengan mata hati.

Kalau boleh, aku tak mahu dapat melihat terlalu cepat, terlalu dekat, terlalu terang.

.... melainkan kalau yang aku nampak itu keikhlasan, kesederhanaan. Kalau yang gah, yang betul-betul mengagumkan, yang mulia.

Tuhan dah banyak menguji aku, dulu masa aku masih mentah, masih tak reti guna naluri dan hati, bagi aku naik Honda CBR, aku bangga. Bagi aku banyak duit, aku cakap besar. Bagi aku lelaki-lelaki handsome menunggu di kaki aku, aku permainkan. Bagi aku lelaki matang, kuat agama aku perlekehkan.

Sekarang bagi aku suami, aku kadang-kadang ambik lewa tanggungjawab aku. Kerja makan gaji aku yang asyik nak dimantapkan, bagaikan pulak majikan itu lebih besar dari Tuhan; dari perintah suami; dari suruhan mummy daddy.

Tuhan bagi aku anak yang cerdik akal fikiran dan ada minat ke arah irama zikir, aku asyik melambatkan pemberian tenaga ajar ku.

____________________________________

Kebelakangan ini, aku pelik dengan diri aku. Bawak kereta mewah, aku tak merasa muka aku jadi sombong dibelakang kaca mata hitam menekan minyak ke sana ke sini. Tak pulak aku merasa macam nak buat rancangan keluar pakai baju seksi aku dan tayang diri di tempat keramaian. Atau, sengaja nak letak kereta di depan tempat 'strategik', biar orang tahu.

Aku dengar orang kata, "bayar servis untuk perkhidmatan swasta lebih berbaloi, puluh ribu takpa, tapi hati lebih senang." Tapi, mata hati aku nampak, sebenarnya betapa sakitnya mental si riak itu memikirkan bila hutangnya nak habis.

Sejak menjadi seorang ibu, aku lebih dapat melihat kedalam jiwa aku sendiri. Baik buruk aku sebagai seorang anak. Jasa mummy itu setinggi mana.

Adakah antara yang di ajar cikgu disekolah apa itu menyayangi dengan saksama? What is unconditional love?

Sana-sini zaman sekarang ibu-bapa melahirkan tuannya. Tanda dunia akhir zaman. Anak-anak yang memutuskan sama ada ibu-bapanya layak diberi wang atau tidak. Kalau mak bapak sudah ada gaji atau EPF yang banyak, atau adik-beradik lain yang bergaji lebih tinggi sudah bagi lebih dari RM5000 jadi tak perlulah bagi banyak sangat, mak bapak dah kaya, atau mak bapak tak pernah mintak pun, jadi buat apa bagi.

Aku hormat setinggi-tingginya anak-anak yang pandai mengatur nafkah untuk kerabat darah dagingnya.

Bila mak bapak besarkan kita, tidak ada dia fikir lebih baik beri yang pandai lebih banyak, atau yang lebih cantik lebih banyak kerana nanti di masa depan boleh dapat keuntungan balik.

_____________________

Bila kita pergi menziarah orang atau sebaliknya, terutama sekali yang kepada generasi muda tak dikenali sangat. Payahnya nak merasai apa itu rasa diraikan. Jarang benar aku nak jumpa wanita segenerasi aku yang mahu datang ke pintu menyebut, 'jemputlah masuk.'

Yang pandai cari tajuk perbicaraan, jauh sekali. Balik-balik tengok pe'el perempuan yang rasa janggal atau yang terus tunjuk perasaan tak setuju dengan pilihan teman suami atau isterinya. Either, she is too slutty, her hair is too blonde, her husband is so pretentious, she is too talkative-Kalau nak cari rumah siapa yang tenang untuk diziarah masihlah ke rumah orang-orang yang lebih tua, yang masih cuba sedaya-upaya to get to our level to grow the conversation topics.

Bingitnya dunia.

Yang menenangkan aku, bunyi burung yang ikhlas menyanyi diluar tingkap bilik setiap 4:30pagi. Burung tu langsung tak tau siapa yang dihiburnya, dia tak pun tahu bunyinya sedap sungguh didengar sampai aku rasa happy for it; sampai aku senyum kalau tersedar waktu yang sama.

Yang menenangkan aku, pergaduhan aku dengan anak lelaki ku bila dia tak mahu berhenti dari bukak peti ais, sekali setiap 15 minit, aku akan tinggikan suara, dia akan marah, frustrated dengan aku dan menangis, tapi dia akan menangis dalam pelukan aku dalam masa yang sama. Sedar agaknya dia, walaupun aku marah, aku tetap sayang kan dia.

Yang menenangkan aku, melihat wajah suamiku setiap keheningan subuh sebelum dia terjaga, yang mengingatkan aku Allah s.w.t itu Maha Pemurah. Bertahun sifat aku lupa dunia, di beri Nya juga aku jodoh.

.... akan aku kuatkan lagi azamku untuk menjauhi kebingitan. Supaya aku lebih dekat pada Mu.

To Embrace Chiang Mai.

2009-04-22T22:23:00.013+08:00

"Lanna meaning one million. Thailand is the land of many many paddy fields. Especially Chiang Mai, we call it the land of one million paddy field."

"Oh, yes. My name is Nop. I hope you aaaa understand my English. Many white people say I speak very good broken English."

We giggled. It was my first visit to Chiang Mai, Thailand; was my first time leaving my little bundle who is now already 16 months old at home for three days. Of course, I went with half my heart behind.

My baby's two weeks unwashed pillow accompanied me. Yeah, so drama.

"Thailand is the land of a million paddy field and black magic. You don't go and simply accept a girl's offer to drink. Next thing you know, you are naked and you don't know where you are!" Nop smiled.

"Yeaahooooo, bagoosss!" ... that's one of our sexcited business partners.

He has gentle gestures, but I guess most Siamese men behave quite the same. The way his eyes moved from one of us tourist to another to check on our approval, tells me, he doesn't just want to guide us. He truly wants us to embrace Chiang Mai.

"Yes, it is the other way round here. Most of the women also got moustache, muscles and take part in Thai boxing."

..... it's only been 15 minutes since I set my foot away from my baby, but I was already intrigued.

___________________

I just realised how long it's been since I last bumped into an educator, or a passionate story teller.

...or more like, how long ago since I found myself curling around somebody's leg till he finish telling me something that feeds my soul. The only consolation is if I stumble upon a good blog or articles in weekend newspapers.

___________________

On the second day, we were set to go for our first touristy do, we were on the coach for 45 minutes to get to this Elephant camp called Maetamann. It's not like the one I've visited in Krabi where each elephant is just required to go through a fixed trail through-mostly, rubber estate or pineapple farm.

"In the past, Thailand employed our wealth of elephants to help us with logging. But when logging spoilt the structure of land fertility for our agriculture economy and on top of that, there were also illegal loggers by people from outside our country, the King had put a stop to such activity."

"What happened was, our elephants became unemployed."

"The idea of putting elephants as part of tourist itinearary was thought of by Thailand's 3rd princess. Not the two pretty, fashionable one, but the plain simple one."

"Elephants still need to eat and play. Logger elephants are used to being trained, told what to do and befriend human beings. The princess came out with a very structured plan to ensure Thai people receive fair chance to have jobs looking after elephants and look after happiness of tourists."

"Each elephant caretaker must have a licence and all elephants have ID. They must follow standards and guidelines to look after elephants."

There are only two types of elephants in this world; Asian and African.Many people regard the bigger sized ones as a differentiator between the two. Some says, the elephant which ears is in the shape of the African continent marks the difference.

Actually, it is the shape of the head. Asian elephants have two lumps on its head, African elephants have normal rounded top skull." Nop added.

I assume we were heading into a huge area with multiple elephant camps and we saw one with really rounded and tight belly.

"And yes, Asian elephants are smarter as its brains are bigger. It is the Asian elephants which are used to be trained for animal shows in zoos and circus.

Female elephants which are about to go through labour will employ the help of her best friend. It is difficult for them to find comfort during labour due to their size, it is not easy to rest and push.

As soon as the baby elephant comes out, the female 'friend' will then tear the birth bag, lick the calf clean and keep it away from its mom till her she gets enough rest. This is to ensure the calf is safe. Usually, when elephants are still in pain after giving birth will kick their calf aggressively when it is trying to look for its mom's teats. "

By this time, the rest of the people in our tour bus are asleep.

"Nop! In our country, I think we probably have only three elephant sanctuaries, one in Kuala Gandah, Pahang, one in Trengganu and one more in Sabah. But what really happen to our elephants as what I pick up from daily newspapers is, either they get hit by the timber or LNG lorries while crossing the highway, or they die slowly due to leg fracture if they fall into the big drain alongside our East Coast highway."

"The people of your country ought to get world recognition on all this effort, and that ugly princess of Thai should receive a nobel prize for this." I said.

..... until today, I could not help to think of how unfortunate M'sia is, we have so many Kings and so many types of endangered animals - both without much hope.

It's been an eventful 2008

2009-01-02T19:47:00.012+08:00

January and February 08 was the start of another new phase, Amer.

That was probably the beginning of my eratic sleeping patterns which I think may only end when he turns 18. Or God's blessing, when his youngest sibling turns 18. Ho boy!

It's not that my days haven't started early before, now, 5am he wakes up but we would just pretend to sleep. He does have empathy afterall, we don't know what goes around his mind while he'd stare up the ceiling and just play with my fingers for a whole hour.

If we're still not awake at 6am, get ready to be crawl-pede, finger bitten and smacked on the nose!

A million more things to organize, what should be sliced for his porridge tomorrow, is there enough amount of meat and vege, is it time to revamp his play area, would he be bored already by Tuesday while we're a work, how many parks, malls, which weekend holiday spots are baby friendly, when is the doctor's apmt, blaaaa blaaaaa.

So, my feet haven't been pedicured for the past 1 year. There's no need for any tricks. I don't even have the time to look at it and whine at how unkept they are. And best was, the handle of a bucket of water broke and it fell on my toe--fractured the bone. Nice! Nice! So much for trying to get my work done in the bathroom as quiet as a Ninja so baby won't get up.

Books and books about parenting became the new reading material, no more gossip magazines, not even blog hopping inbetween work, not even newspapers! I despised so many things my parents think are right for him. Like teaching him how to climb the staircase, talking into his face too repetitively.

So when we learnt that giving full emotional support is most important for baby's first three months, we gave our all and just continued till Amer, is now, 1 year old. I guess even if the books didn't coach that baby's cries must be consoled, they are just too cute to be ignored.

Yeah, so drama. First child.

I guess it is a universal phenomena for us women to discover so many things within us through the experience of motherhood. To some, this is the ultimate career, I concur to this; which explains my sharp 5:30pm departure from work. It will soon be... all time, all day punctuality for the family at home.

He is now at his most responsive. His sign language is through pointing towards the direction that he wants us to bring him to or he is familiar with followed with a humm. On mornings of our weekends I'd make it a point to take him out for an early morning stroll and keep uttering the word 'birds' as so many of them would fly by.

We finally see that we should just celebrate the diversed ways he gets educated and that my mother's quest to ensure his general motors and fine motors are coordinated early paid off! He's showing off how fast he could climb the stair case at mum's and the coordination of his hands and legs helps him to ride on his baby cars and trucks well. He gets off the bed by himself too! Legs first.

And all that moving the mouth so close to his face I kept yelling at mum not to, he's doing back to us. Calls out to his friends aloud.... Cha! Cha! for Natasha! Mama? When Amer?

Cum 11 months it's his turn to point them to me as if he discovered first which part of the sky they are flying by. That look on his face when I took his hands and run them through the pokok jejarum around the house and allowed him to grab it..... I can't help but to remember moments I had with my late dad. Why just a few years of relationship is ironically so vivid, so influential.

With all do respect, my mother, raised us single handedly since I was 6. A total disciplinarian at home and a typical Kelantanese breadwinner, to ensure there's food on the table, she worked hard. She leaves for work at 7am sharp and gets home right before dinner is served each day.

Back to my late dad, who wasn't that generous with chats, would piggy back me to the Subaru showroom and explained why they are great cars. He would rush to the nearby shop which is 10 minutes walking distance away from our house to buy good, hot chicken soup from a motorbike and share it just with me. Close.... that's how I can put it.

Closeness is what I managed to obtain from my relationship with mom only after she retired recently, finally the sight of her is no longer a rare matter.

That look on Amer's eyes when he found that it was alright for him to taste the flower buds, to keep opening the drawers and splatter everything out of it, to pick everything out of my wallet almost on daily basis and re arrange everything in the fridge that ticked me...... way back to all my chances to be spontaneous and the spirit to explore.

Getting snogged was what we used to get from our cats, and that's how he is showing his love back to us, bet he doesn't even know what that feeling means.

Tonight before he fell asleep, he tried to pick one of my earings off. We once ran to the Specialist Centre as we thought he had swallowed one side of my pearl stud, which ended up was right underneath his pillow.

Fears put aside, I let him repeat his favourite habit. When the earing was in his hand, my heartbeat was running faster but I pretended to be well.

He pushed himself nearer.... in order to fix it back into my earing hole, he tried many times and gruntled and twisted but of course, it's not possible. I wasn't allowed to help out.

Then he gave up, moved his view towards my eyes and handed the earing towards my palm and then snuggled within my neck.

Amer..... Mummy thinks mummy felt what you felt when you tasted the flower buds! I guess that's what drives me back home as fast as a lightning everyday; to nourish myself with your affection in return.

Ratis Maximus.

2008-11-06T13:47:00.003+08:00

It was one of those helter skelter days when I had to be at business partner's location half an hour before I finally get to move my ass off my chair from the office.

100kmph.... 110kmph.... 120kmph....then took that swerve that leads me towards Jalan Duta and suddenly, a figure that seemed like a tired old man going the same direction as my car was dragging his foot to cross the road.

I wonder where he started walking from as the busy road will not have any decent shelter in the next 1km.

Such a scene is common but the figure usually wears itself a hive of uncut hair or beard. But from behind, this man looks totally clean, his hair; neat. Takkan lah orang gila macam ni. But he definitely looks exhausted and unfocussed.

I slowed down to avoid knocking him down, in case he may just pass out infront of me and as I pass him by, I got to view him on my rear view mirror. He had gauze pad across his forehead with traces of blood still fresh and one hand is covering his mouth.

"POONNNNNNN!!"

Yeap..... I slowed down too much.

... and then I found myself wondering where to stop, and what to do. While wondering, I was already 10 minutes away from my destination.

Ffffuuucckkkkk..... I thought to myself that I'm just one of so many other 'rats'. "I'm too busy with my thing, I have no time to help you!"

I walked out of my car and saw my husband's bottle of mineral water, and I know he always have two others in the boot. I could've stopped and at least gave him one................ at least.

What is the possibilities of someone who could bother to think of this man's difficulty pass him by? It could've definitely been an opportunity for me to help a stranger once in so many months.

... but..... I gave it a pass. I'm just one of those super busy people whom I always despise.

Pffffhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
___________________________________

One week later, I found a person I used to be so affectionate of through Facebook. She's a mother of four, large and round eyed lady, gregarious, wears tudung.

Inspite of her rather unsophisticated outlook, she is really an expressive character. She stood on the table once when we had a karaoke party and sang 'Here Comes the Rain Again' while dancing on the table and she was just fantastic.

People love being around her, she's a symbol of carefree yet a grounded mother.

We were ecstatic to discover each other on FB, like other 'rats' we are, once we got separated by different jobs, so hal masing-masingla. It must've been 9 years since she left the company I'm working for.

I almost turned into stone when I saw the word 'Single' on her status.

She's probably already reaching her mid 40's; a bold decision indeed.

It was a heavy gulp in my throat to tell her that I'm happily married when I know she has to break something otherwise. When I know it happened just about the time I tied the knot and she had probably thought of sharing it with me but time may just not be right.

"Why didn't you call me and share these with me?"

"Don't worry, now I live with all my daughters and couldn't have been happier! Come and drop by la when you are free! I can now live in a place with the things placed how I have always wanted them to be placed and be all that I wanted to be!"

I took a long breath.... from the way it sounds, she IS happy and for that, I'm happy.. for her. Especially for having the guts to face the reality with total conviction.
___________________________

Today, I opened my email, once more, I almost turned into stone.

My bestfriend in school of 5 years, the person who coaxed me into the superficial world of internet networking--Facebook, emailed.

"........., I am diagnosed with .... cancer, and it is at early stage. I meant to tell you but just that....."

Now.... she's half way across the globe, and what do I do? Just give lip service?

Her little son just passed a year old, and she came back from England recently with a big bag of gifts for Amer.

..... I haven't replied her email..... coz I'm a rat. I'm busy in my cubicle. I have no means to go fly across the globe to be with her.

*I typed... chemo may affect you dearly. You should try to have these foodstuff to help cool you down....

....

That..... again is just another lip service.

No expectations.

2008-10-15T11:18:00.003+08:00

Douglas was my temporary tuition student. I am hopeless in Bahasa Malaysia, but I tried to help him out using problem solving method instead of departing any wise and intellectual knowledge.

Douglas: Teacher, 'jejarum' means many jarum is it?

No, it is the name of a kind of flower, quite a common one. You know.... the bunch of small red flowers with five little petals you see in any neighbourhood or parks. You can pull the middle petal out and taste the sweet nectar.... you know??

Douglas snatched the pencil in my hand and went, 'Oh! It looks like this is it teacher?'

Yes!

He started drawing the roads and went, 'On the right side of the road, it is on this side, right teacher?' He started highlighting a section on the picture he drew.

__________________________________________

Kevin is my ex sales manager. He's skinny, tall, has an embossed mole right above his left laugh line. A China man and a joker in basics but he speaks with clarity of thought of his opinions.

SMS from Kevin: Oi, can you give me a lift to KL tomorrow?

SMS from me: I read this sms five minutes before I reach KL. How's is with you then?
Sorry sir!

SMS from Kevin: Oi, I'm having my half boiled eggs at Ah Wong, come!

He's considered very successful for his age, but is still one down to earth fella who flashes nothing and speaks nothing to prove his status.

Conversations with him will not fail to revolve around religion and preparation for death. He speaks of Taoism, Buddhism and practices of the monks and of course, I would speak of Islam. It will go on for an hour.. the most before we get worried if someone notices that we are not at work or attending any appointments.

Kevin: ..... so in the book I read, there are at least 18 layers of hell in the underworld, each serves its purpose for different set of people, of different sins.
Rich people who waste food because they can afford to be lavish are still punished eventhough it is part of the food they spend as charity.
Peeping Tom! I'm trying to remember how many times I peeped. The eye balls will be scraped out one by one and placed back and scraped back out!

Me: ... oh in our religion, punishments in the afterlife are gruesome too. Those who do not fast will have swim through a sea of blood, vomit and puss!

Me: At the end of the day it is the fittest energy/being that deserves to be in God's heaven for all religion eigh!

I just love the fact that the conversation between us may at times sounded as if we are martyrs trying to convert each other. But no, at the end of it, we know it is just about imparting knowledge and it ends just there.

________________________________

During the last fasting month, I decided to try taking the LRT to work. The sardine can scene overwhelmed but I enjoyed watching people.

I took the LRT from Kelana Jaya, cum Abdullah Hukum area, it seemed as if we needed to stand on each other's head already!

In came a blind lady in tudung, her walking stick could barely move to help direct her ways. I was standing. The Indian lady who is seated infront of me stood up to give up her seat. But the blind lady is quite far away to squeeze through and everyone else was busy trying to balance ourselves.

Suddenly a tall young Chinese guy reached out his hand above our short figures, held the blind woman's arms really tight and pulled her directly towards the seat.

At that moment, my super macho traits disappeared when tears ran down my cheek. I was just too happy to be able to feel such height of integration and empathy. I felt like I belong in such a superior society.

_____________

Those are the things I want to remember, moments when there is no expectation towards anyone and anything and I felt so much freedom.

Strong Women = Super Hot Women

2008-09-05T09:48:00.005+08:00

It's now waking up at 3:30am to wait for hubs to pass the warm milk bottle, stick it into Potch's mouth because by this time he'd merengek with his eyes closed and he won't even want to hold the bottle himself.

At 4 am, it is time to prepare for sahur. It was fried gyoza's, dumplings in plain ginger soup or fried nasi kerabu... whatever that's easy to prepare yet keep us away from that bloatiness feeling.

Then it's the normal 8:30 - 5:30 weekday routine, which still requires lotsuf fire fighting.

Come back, rush to cook everything the maid has chopped and marinated. At the same time, trying to ensure I still have enough air time with the little boy who sings aaaaa, ouuuuuuuu, aaaiieeeeeee on his walker outside the kitchen trying to run over the little safety gate.

There are times I wonder when was the last time I get the time to look at my face long enough in the mirror for reality checks. For anything that needs extra care. Like other wives, we want everything to be perfect for the family and at the same time we get freaking worried if our parents might feel left out or if the maid needs extra break from her routine. A million other thoughts equivalent to strategies on how to conquer the world with just one clap.

Is that a sign of Obsessive, Compulsive Syndrome? It can't just come half way through your life could it? Yeah, everyone's raya outfits are even ready, that includes the maid's and the sister's!

At least I haven't bought everything needed to make the cookies, buy new curtains, get rid of the ugly dinner table, blaa blaa blaa.

I just mentioned that this post natal hair loss is going against my plans, a simple black shoulder length hair wig will fix it. But hubs thinks it is a completely absurd idea and that hair wigs are only for terminally ill people. Oh well.

I now find myself thinking in that Rose is Rose cartoon mode. That after I finish wiping off the Banana and Carrot puree off my hair, I'm off in my black leather outfit and knee length black leather boots, turn on the song 'One Step at a Time' by Jordan Sparks on my iPod, my long shiny tresses is covered underneath a Nike black silk key and hop onto my black CBR...... to buy more diapers for my boistrous little Potch.

Okay, back to reality, I will just stick to becoming just like Charlize Theron in Hancock. Anyone calls me a crazy woman again, I'll lift them with my finger and throw them into oblivion.

Preview (again) of your nephew!

2008-09-05T05:42:00.003+08:00

He's growing up so fast, he has such an infectious laughter, he literally goes Ahhak, ahak, ahak! And somehow his response towards Tok Daddy is a lot more compared to Tok Mummy who 'acah' him a lot more. Dia dah tak heran kot.

He's probably 9 kilos now.

Once you come back, we shall think of a place to go holiday altogether before the year ends.

Amma nowa Bed'arooma Taukey!

2008-08-28T10:18:00.005+08:00

Terence was in the US. Thanks to some fucked up postal ruling here, Malaysia cannot order anything other than CDs and books from amazon.com
I wanted hundreds of things from there.

He ordered it, it took only 3 days to arrive. Unpack it, the screws, bolts and nuts are packed in his luggage, the bulky stuff came back via DHL. The actual price for it is just RM150 plus DHL fee RM350 in total. It's worth it for something so unlike Ikea's compressed wood, it's solid birch.

When we installed it, I got the shock of my life to see that it was actually made in China. It went bloody half the globe and all that trouble. If I start out Titiwangsa.com as opposed to amazon.com i will be a millionaire won't I?

And cuba cerita sikit, kenapa benda simple macam ni pun susah sangat for Malaysian nak buat?

Enuf about that. I can now feed the baby at night, sembang about political stuff with hubs, kutuk other ppl's blogs, update my own blog, play Munaf Ahmad's zikirs to Berjoj, surf for new baby food recipes, in future teach him flash cards aaaaaall at once.

Now it's worth RM119 paid to Maxis every month.

Terence, to say thanks is an understatement. There's a big difference between a help and a favour. You're a gem.

My Religion Went Out the Window.

2008-08-22T10:42:00.004+08:00

I walked into the mosque yard, I was hoping to catch one muslimat in order to find my way into the prayer room as the first floor seemed dark.

I waited, it's two more minutes before Adzan Maghrib. There was so much wind in my stomach, and I think I better let it all out before it spoils my prayer. So I quickly walked in anyways and an old man looked at me while making his way to the muslimin's area and told me, "Tempat sembahyang perempuan kat sana, tempat wudhu' sebelah situ ye".

Either I look totally lost, or totally unreligious, or the least, that guy is telepathic.

There were only 20 muslimats in the women's prayer room, it was malam Jumaat, when there should be a roaring session of prayers. But yeah, there were 20 muslimats. Of course the number of men was enough to fit the main hall.

It was time to perform Maghrib prayer, I rushed to tighten the gaps between the muslimats.... but I felt the wind blowing my prayer robe.

I moved to the left and pulled the one on my right to get closer. She moved but later moved back further. Before I could do anything, the Imam is already reciting "Allahu Akbar".

.........

This is our first Doa Kesyukuran in the mosque, in the quest to be a better person each new day I wake up breathing, seeing, moving, loving as parents and children to our parents.

The Doa was for the birth of our son, a few was done but by my parents who had waited the arrival of a male descendant for years.

While we waited for Adzan Isya', a makcik was distributing Kuih Cara around. I took one, sooo delicious.

"Makcik buat sendiri?"

"Iyeee, makcik buat."

I heard in the far corner, one lady was telling someone, "Habiskan cepat minyak tu, dah habis order lagi dari I."

Oh, oh, I let out the gas again.

Came back to the prayer area and a lady was distributing the small mineral water bottles. Someone must've taken part in the contribution of drinks today.

"Takpela makcik."

The lady looked strangely at me.

Then comes the Bacaan Yassin. Oh my, I'm already 33 and I haven't byhard Yassin, and the Imam read it faster than I could sing Buai Laju Laju to my son.

I was quivering, is my effort going to be accepted by Him? I better hold one more next week.

Oh... then I noticed, everyone was reading the Yassin with the bottles of mineral water infront of them--the lids opened.

How can I not realised that it is a great opportunity to collect our own prayer water. Uugghhhh......

I was beaming at those who herd 4-5 bottles altogether in front of them.

Of all people, the one who arranged for the Doa Kesyukuran is not bringing back prayer water.... poor little Amer, not able to drink the water for his presence.

The Yassin recital was over and suddenly the makcik who offered me the bottle, charged towards the person with 5 bottles in front of her and whispered something; took two bottles away and handed one to me.

You can surely imagine how grateful I felt. The makcik is surely telepathic, I CONFIRM!! I kept looking back at her to confirm she totally exist, not a gliding angel.

We had only ordered nasi lemak to return everyone's gesture. I waited at the exit of the muslimat's place to distribute them. I hope they'd consume it though I'm sure there's better food on the table served to them before they come for prayers.

Everyone took off their prayer robe, the look of the Jones appear. Inspite of that, I appreciate how sincere their words of 'Terima Kasih' and a big appreciative smile and congratulating me for the new son when handed the food.

I know I was the youngest around that night. Though it is not an excuse for them to excuse me for my kermit awkwardness.

God definitely knows, how tiny I felt as His khalifah, as tiny as a dust. I have to brush up on this.

Your Mummy and Daddy's the One Who Should Show You...

2008-08-18T23:07:00.008+08:00

Fuck... someone said it in the most masterclass way.

"In order for a nation, any nation, to grow, you must have a solid foundation. That foundation, even though I REALLY, REALLY HATE to say it, is family." - Amir Hafizi

Why is it that children in families/areas/countries with crisis is more destructive, depressed, such as families in the third world countries, countries that face war, broken families etc?

Cases of drug addiction, smoking among the primary school kids were not cases we heard during our parents time, but it is such a rampant issue now.

The more civilized a country gets, peace is coherent with it, its citizens are more interested to cooperate with the total wellbeing of nature and human.

... but why isn't our country going towards that? Parents are all too busy, children are all too busy. Everyone is on the road, everyone is at the mamak, everyone is at the clubs and cinemas, everyone is busy to plan something to do outside the comfort of their homes.

When it comes to children deciding what they want to become when they grow older, they don't know. When you ask your friends if they love their girlfriends or boyfriends, they don't know. When you ask your friends what do they know about themselves, they don't know or not sure and some need to travel far and wide to find their souls, to know who they really are.

Why are we in so much chaos?

I read this article in a parental book about love among mammals, the fundamental of a strong, stable country is just simple; love.

Research with other mammals has shown that:

The more physical contact the mothers gave to their babies, the less fearful and more courageous their babies grew up to be, and this effect lasted a lifetime.

Baby mammals who experienced lower levels of touch from their mothers showed more fearfulness in adulthood.

The more physically demonstrative the mother, the more mentally healthy the infant in later life. In adulthood they became confident, attentive mothers with calmer infants.

Babies who experienced physical contact also aged better, with fewer degenerative changes in their brain; and they were less anxious when placed in a new environment, and explored more.

They also coped well with stress.

My conclusion: Love will tell you who you are and that will make everything in life and running a 'genuinely' peaceful country so much easier.

How Did I End Up Living with Two Lady's Men?

2008-08-11T10:49:00.006+08:00

Ameeerrr! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAmeerrrr!!!

Amer wasn't downstairs at the playground yet. The maid hollered back to say he'd just stay indoors with his mummy and daddy.

Ting! Tong!

What have we that day! Natalie, Natasya, Amelie was right at the door step. They are between 4 to 6 years old.

We brought out some fresh soya bean for them to drink and Da'im candies. They helped to feed him his evening meal and took turn to shower him.

They picked up their drink while smiling at him. Then they chewed their candies while smiling at him. Straaaaannngee little tots.

Mummy kat sini tersengih ada, termenung ada. Hopefully, they'll grow up to be such good servers to their husbands looking at how accommodating they are now.

Amer is only 7 months old, what does he know about entertaining guests. But he'd sometimes look at them deeply, I don't know what he was studying. Being a lady's man is an in-born trait, if he ever decides to be a womanizer, I will tarik telinga and cubit dia even if he's as old as any adult. No one in the family line has ever been one, eventhough your momma is from the infamous Kelantan family.

Ever since I got married to his father, it was entertaining this strings of lady friends who happily comes to update us on their private lives, to see the addition to our family, to celebrate festive seasons.

I foresee this boy will make me work in the kitchen a lot too in future when his friends impulsively comes over. Well, that means, a chance to make more deeds if God permits.

Far From What Some Things Used to be.

2008-08-05T13:58:00.004+08:00

Berjoj (our little son), rolled away from his cot and got the two little bantal peluk that acts as the fort out of the way. Thank God he didn't fall off the bed. Heiiiggghhhhh.

My sister wrote about how much she had changed in the past 8 months.

I looked at my blog, and I know--there's so much that had changed.

I still think about the environment, recycle everything I could, refuse to accept the shop's plastic bags (yet still uses disposable diapers 24/7!)

Night outs are not considered clubbing, they are quests to be in various places once in awhile (yet comes back between 10 and 12 midnight instead of the usual 5am).

I don't window shop at all anymore. Like a hawke, I'll browse within safe radius to be able to jatt back to my nest if ~~I felt insecure~~, the baby might miss me.

Shoes? There's jcpenney.com.my now. Handbags? The little sister will help to take care of it by buying whatever that can last me another 5 years from UK where leatherware are cheapy cheap yet nice. I haven't fixed the broken heel of one of my favourite stillets. Baby stuff, yessssssss the things we all would browse through for hours.

Home cooked breakfast and dinner everyday except if we want a variety on weekends.

I don't work out anymore. Not AT ALL. The little tot worked me out to the core.

Only able to read one whole newspaper in the weekends.

Sleep and cuddle is more important than sex.

I have worked out a life schedule, as organized as any woman can be, and it kept changing, it should be, as we should review it and change it and review it and change it again--and again.

So.... next year, try to conceive another little tot for Zach to discharge half his energy onto.

The year after is when I will try to enrol in a dance class and drag hubs to finally learn Salsa. Keep long tresses. Travel, cook and read a lllllllot more. Of course, a total make over.

It's 10pm, it's time to put the two to sleep now.

Siapa itu Kabir Bhatia?

2008-07-28T11:50:00.003+08:00

Who is Kabir Bhatia?

I got the answer one week after I post this subject from Afdlin's blog.

[Aku sekarang ni tengah melalui perjalanan penggambaran sebuah filem berjudul 'STAMP'.
Filem ini diarah oleh sahabat lama aku dari zaman Bila Larut Malam aku, Khabir Bahtia.

Khabir is an Indian director from india who moved to Malaysia during the Antah UTV days and fell in love with Malaysia (or maybe the possibility of work here was higher, heehee...), got married here and never went back.

A very talented director, it was just a matter of time before he started directing films, i used to tell myself that, because of his vision, he will definitely make a fine filmmaker and sure enough, his first break came when he was offered to direct 'CINTA'.

Love it or hate it, the movie won accolades and another star was born in the Malaysian Film industry. He is now directing his fourth feature after CINTA (LOVE) versi Indonesia and SEPI (in which i had the pleasure to work with him too).

Not only has He got a great eye for story telling but his strength also lies in his ability towork with actors well. STAMP is a really fun story ala OCEAN 11, meets lock, stock and two smoking barrels macam tu la. It stars Me, Rashidi Ishak (my buddy from my first acting gig with Shuhaimi Baba, 'MIMPI MOON'), His wife; the wonderful Vanidah Imran, Que Haider, Indi Nadarajah (from 'Indi and Alan' fame and last seen as Mr Leong in Hans Isaac's CUCI).

It was supposed to star MAYA KARIN as well but she pulled out due to scheduling Issues. Personally i think it is going to turn out to be a great film.]

Mr. Kabir, your movie is fantastic but why did you allow the preview editor to show the accident scene as the preview????? Why laaa???

The only twist and story connector in the movie Sepi, is the accident scene, and thank God I didn't bother to look at any preview before we watched the movie.]

______________________________________________________
There's so many write-ups and interviews on Usop Haslam, but there's none on him.

I know from my husband that the director of the movie, Sepi is someone he knew during his studies.

SEPI

….. watching it sure made everyone, even those who thinks they live the happiest life; feels there is some ‘Sepi’ in their lives. It sure pulled that self-pity chord in us. It sure made everyone had their pathetic minute in the cinema.

The cinematography for all the three storyline is so seamless that it enables the viewers feel that we are IN the story ourselves. So intensifying.

He doesn't bother to get low intellect journalist from URTV of Pancaindera to write about the movie while it is being done. The selling point is just its honest storyline.

Nevertheless, the movie was on one for a month.

Will someone point me to any biodata on this director. Pleeasseee, take me as your actress, I'll do it for free!

Pegaga, Carrot and Apple.

2008-07-22T13:07:00.003+08:00

Pagi
Ubi Keledek with Probiotic baby cereal or To Fu.
Organic Fruits with Probiotic baby cereal or To Fu.

Petang
100% pureed vegies, no carbo mixed in, only citrussy fruits to disguise the taste.

It's so much fun concocting food mixtures for him. Pegaga is a new experiment and he has no qualms.

He still wakes up 3 times a night for his milk. His daddy will still patiently make his milk and I will make sure the bottle is held up until he pushes it out of his mouth.

Kuat makan.... he thinks he is capable of holding his spoon and feeds himself, so it's always a strength fight between me and him when the spoon is in his mouth. He'd stand up to ensure his mouth gets nearer to the spoon if I am distracted by something else.

Quick Swerve to The Curve

2008-07-16T14:47:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

I find it so typical that only mothers make all family arrangements for the family. It's always complicated but rewarding as much. When you have a maid, tho she looks after the family, it is no longer just your husband and the baby that we do need to manage, it is also as important that the full time caretaker of the baby doesn't feel left out too kan.

Must say that The Curve is the most baby friendly, family friendly spot in town.
__________________________________________
Me : I got a secret.

Hubs: Cepat la cakaaaaap.

Me : Susah la, but I got a secret, ok.

Lepas tu kena cubit.

Me : Okaylah, we're going to spend one night at Royale Bintang this weekend. You, me, Jojjoj (the baby) and bibik sekali. I have the whole itinerary done. Shakira helped me to get staff price for a family suite.

Hubs: So near!!!!

Me : Jom je laaa, nak drive gi Cameron's lama laaa nak sampai.

_______________________

We jatted off to Bagan Lalang in the morning to buy the family's month long seafood provision. Brought the tiffin carrier and packed freshly cooked rice and seafood cooked kampung style that costed us only RM25 for 4 dishes!

The 2 kilos of Tenggiri Bunga, 2 kilos of Sotong, 3 kilos of Kembung, One Ikan Nabi, 1 1/2 kilos of Udang Kertas, 2 Golden Pomfrets, 1 kilo of Selar Kuning, 1 kilo of Tenggiri Papan, 2 Jenahak for only RM110!!!

Drove back, stuffed everything in the fridge, cleaned baby's poo. Jatted off to R. Bintang, The Curve.

The whole of The Curve just started it's round of Mega Sale. This is double jack-pot!

There's one flat screen TV for Amer to watch NickleO and Bibik to watch her drama. Another one to watch mummy and daddy doze off after the tiffin carrier lunch that almost spilled over as Amer could reach the low table from his walker.

We were too tired but I can't help watching Amer flying about in his walker checking out hidden corners of a new place. Can't wait to soak in the bath tub with him now, nope nope, daddy can wait.

There's enough meal in the tiffin carrier for Bibik to eat dinner. So we could eat in Tony Roma's guilt free (she doesn't eat meat). There's a little corner just nice for us to place the stroller with Amer sound asleep in it.

He watched so many colours of the flea market dengan mulut ternganga.

Went upstairs, read Amer his books and we were even more dead tired.

Me : I got another secret.

Hubs: Cepaaatttlaaaaaa cakaaaappppp.

Showed him the ticket booking print out of 'Sepi' at 9:50pm

Hubs: Cerita apa tu? Yang by Kabir Bhatia tu ke?

I nodded.

...... shit, it was a damn good movie. I know, hubs must be all turned on by Vanida Imran, but it's ok, I was all intrigued about Tony Eusoff.

Next morning, as we sat ourselves for breakfast. Amer was fast asleep again in the stroller. For once, no Cina bukit and Melayu jakun piling up the plates and jumping queues. Bibik looked the most civilized, she had only two mini sausages and one roti canai on her plate.

Sunday evening, 6th July.
Me : Are we going to make out?

He pretended to snore, I pretended to snore back -- into a content sleep.

But I know.... everyone's happy. Especially Amer, he was carried on his daddy's stomach and my stomach a lot. It's going to be a long 5 days after when he's going to miss the proximity.. is it him or is it us?

Shakira! If you read this, for less than RM400 per head, this is damn worth it! Thank you!

Zacreigh is now 6 mths old.

2008-07-03T13:25:00.002+08:00

Aunty Lina,

I know you are somewhere in Paris now. Mummy is worried that you haven’t called in ages.

I am six months old now. I just recovered from quite a bad bout of purging. My butt was all red and it is difficult for me to run on my walker with that feeling. Mummy kept putting her nose in my diaper until she knows that my stools are no longer watery. I know… eeuugghhhhhhh!!!

Yeah, mummy already put me on the walker when I was 5 mths old. I’m bored of laying down and playing with all that silly things in my play gym.

They just installed a gate at the kitchen door. Can you please tell mummy to take the gate off. How am I supposed to teach Bibik how to make my porridge right?

I have already started eating porridge and soft cereal at the age of 5 mths. Luckily mummy noticed how I drool to the smell of their dinner every night.

I love to see all my big friends playing in the evening around the swimming pool, but there’s always mosquitoes biting my legs and forearms, I know mummy is going to ban Bibik from allowing me to watch them play.

You should try to call mummy back ok.

One for the Record.

2008-06-17T17:01:00.000+08:00

Mainey #: iskandar going UK 19th to 5th

baibon: and...

Mainey #: let's meet in his new house on the 10th for brunch

Mainey #: brian pun nanti ada

baibon: when is 10th?

baibon: remind me when the date is near

baibon: anyways wtf is he doing with a new house if he's going to uk?

Mainey #: HOLIDAY LAAA Write in your ipod now.

baibon: ok sudah

Mainey #: put alarm

baibon: boring betul- I'm stuck also, people are expecting the same from me

baibon: pressures of society

Mainey #: the house warming dia dah lama buat laaa

Mainey #: this is just to meet up for old time sakes.

baibon: ok

baibon: but still

baibon: it's getting harder and harder for me to meet new people and talk about the weather and other pointless stuffs

Mainey #: isssh betul laaa

baibon: i got the hots for sufiah

Mainey: (*^&%&*^%&^% you're too old and too poor for that... for her I mean.

baibon: The thought of discussing about shit like the silent submarine propulsion system in Red October, Brain Green's String Theory, quantum dynamics, ray tracing etc after sex with a hot chick..... before doing it again..... aaaahhh......

baibon: read her interview?

Mainey #: *read, read, read. WOOOOWWWW!

baibon: what? she turns u on to?

baibon: I always knew you were a butch deep inside

Mainey #: shadap la

baibon: butch

baibon: u know it's hard to find attractive intelligent ladies these days

baibon: to be fair I can consider u as one tapi sekarang tak tau la hehe

baibon: i cannot tahan those bimbos

Mainey #: wuuuuaaaa **terbisu kejap
Oiiii, I am still intelligent.... Ok!!!!

.............

2008-06-05T08:26:00.002+08:00

I've been working with my current company for the past 12 years, at the time I am searching for the best thing that suits my soul.. though there's so many...
I will definitely get back to teaching.. in some way... I will.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place to live in. Everybody wants to do something that can make them mentally immortal.

Untuk masa depan saudara Islamku dan juga masyarakat yang memajmukkan keadaan sekelilingku.

Boo!

2008-05-26T21:39:00.007+08:00

Do you know Zach, that your dad's arm, if he had continued weightlifting since those days, I'd say they would be as huge as Arnold Schwarzaneggar's.... I know, Arnold, the famous actor/politician could be dead or is a 100 years old by the time you discover this online diary of mummy's.

You have no idea how nervous mummy gets the first month you come to this world. He knows he looks clumsy (he IS clumsy) everytime he maneouvers his hands to carry you and puts you down, and it gets worse when he knows he is being watched.

Yes, mummy shouted at him a few times when he wanted to pick you by just grabbing your head from the top like holding the sharp end of a rugby ball and his other hand supporting your back. He told me that no parents in this world, even the totally handicapped, had broken their babies.

I will usually just hide my chuckle.

It gets stranger, with a fuzzy feeling to see how he whole heartedly sings 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' and 'ABC' to you nowadays. It is different than how he makes mummy listen to him singing all his 'rock melayu 80an' and English retros, I'd end up sleeping at 2am instead of 11pm.

That's why I think you should see how you react to his daily singing.

Tengok tu! Sebok pandang kat lain.

That's what happens when he ends his songs with a chirpy 'Cak!' at you. He's very much like Sulley in Monster Inc and you're very much like Boo in that movie, treating him like your ultimate vehicle.

Sayang, your lagu ABC tu salah laa, mana boleh repeat the alphabets dua kaliiii!!!!

Mummy's Day.

2008-05-11T15:09:00.004+08:00

Mom is the typical Kelantanese lady, works very hard for everything, rough n tough in getting things done and an army type disciplinarian. She won't knock on my door if I am not awake by 8am, she'd bang it and shout words like 'anak lelaki ke anak perempuan ni!'

I grew up with lots of differences against her.... lots. People say rebels are born out of any broken marriages and single parents make stern mothers and soft daddys.

Now that I'm a mom, I looked at her and I looked back at myself... how I look after my marriage, my son, myself.... I cannot beat what she had done even if I'm given a chance to try it all out from scratch again.

Divorce, raising two kids with the crummy pay she used to earn those days, covered up for late dads 'warts and all' though he didn't give her the love a rightful wife should get, living with inferiority complex and insecurity due to that aftertitle. She did that all on her own, I go through mine from the day I got married till the day I got my first child... all with her authoritarian self backing me.

There were days I was my selfish self, wanting things to be left to just me to make the patterns and hum the sounds, other people's ways, or rather her ways are, to me, seen as old school, this and that.

I keep telling myself that I must not jadi kepala besar, semua benda Tuhan dah bagi, nak mengeluh lagi that things are not good enough. That is so takbur... of me.

Inspite of our differences, she still funded my first asset and she paid for a nice wedding though she thought I can only be the worst menantu for any Malay family.

But I kept my takbur comments just within my lungs, syukur they were never blurted out and hurt people unnecessarily. People say.... new mothers are like that, it'll wear off. Thank God it did.

She tried hard to catch up on what she missed while raising us. Bought toys for Amer, sew him all his pillows and mattress covers, follow his day to day progress, even knock on our doors on weekends to make sure she still gets enough air time with him. I know, she tried to catch up on what it's like to give love wholeheartedly, without any distractions.

When I find myself buying new shoes for mummy or try to give her some other extras though she's such a simple person, I do feel healed.... healed from my own selfish ill feelings; I feel healed from being able to rise against my ego. All that envelopes me when I see that she won't say thank you, just that smile intentionally smoked screened by her normal loud chattering. I know that you know that I tried.

You keep saying you're so lucky to still be able to see a male descendant before the day you go. Truth is, we are the lucky ones.

Zac, your first bath was done by your Tok Mummy. I hope to be able to look after your offsprings just as good.

Semangat Kepahlawanan yang Semakin Hilang

2008-05-07T17:08:00.003+08:00

Mummy: Uncle kena parang in front of kedai Azlinah last weekend

Me: ??????? *my heart was palpitating

Mummy: He suspected the Beemer infront of him was being stolen, so he went and masuk campur, pegi pukul orang tu. He wants me to tell you to becareful. I don't think you should drive around with just Amer and Bibik in the car, not around here.

_______________________

Me: Uncle, where are you? Are you ok?

Uncle: I'm okaaaaayyy. *His selamba tone as usual.

Me: Are you hospitalised?

Uncle: Tak ada apa apa laaa.

Me: You mean they parang you and you are okay? Beemer which model?

Uncle: Brand new 5 series. Two guys with parang just sandwiched the driver to take over the steering wheel, they are smart as the car was also sandwiched by two cars back and front. My car was behind his.

.... I was trying to see if my 'Kekebalan' is still there. So I approached the snatcher, bang his head on the steering a few times, he came out, hit his parang on me.

Me: Uncle whyyyyy.......

Uncle: Uncle cover muka aje dengan tangan. Dia cuba tetak sampai bunyi, 'tak, tak, tak, tak!' The other guy took over the steering wheel and banged front and back cars. My car's bonet hancur.

Me: YOUR HANDSSSSSS?????????????
*In my mind, I'm picturing those all casted in cement already.

Uncle: Datang la tengok.
*He started laughing as cocky as always. In our family, he's the most gregarious, funny and love to drive us around for little food adventures and that made him the closest to all his nephews and nieces.

_______________________

I only saw many small marks on both forearms as if he got bitten by an angry cat.

Me: Parang dia tumpul gila ke? Uncle lain kali boleh tak kalau tak masuk campur benda benda macam niiiiii!!!

Uncle: Uncle kebaaaaallll!!!! *he was grinning.

Uncle: Any penyamun knows la Mainey, kalau nak curi kereta pergi TTDI, sini orang akan surrender aje and leave everything to insurance. Kita semua orang yang lawan dengan intellectual strength, tak ada jiwa pahlawan, tak ada semangat tolong-menolong, kena samun jerit la sorang-sorang. This is the best playground for car thieves, takda challenge langsung for them. *He smiled

I knew he had a great time pukul orang, so old yet still so hot blooded, konon macam orang muda.

I need a gun. That's how I will fight.

Love You So Much Too

2008-04-25T08:54:00.002+08:00

Saya bukan Tan Sri

2008-04-04T09:41:00.004+08:00

Ever since I started Mainetalities, and wrote about Syed Mokhtar, soooo many comments came in. I read the first, then the second and then I don't dare to open the comment box anymore.

I was expecting comments such as more feedbacks on his deeds towards the society, or his other brilliant business steps, or there's another philantrophic figure just like him I don't know of.

Instead, the comments open me up to see deeper on how people of my race think. This is already going out of tune isn't it?!

But it sure gave me the creeps when .....

*I saw how dumb some people are for thinking the blog belongs to Tan Sri himself and siap mintak duit buta-buta without any justifications.

*I saw how desperate and truely in need other people are and all I wish is Syed Mokhtar's PA noticed that blog.

I know, anak nelayan lah antara yang paling susah in this country. I wonder.... if one day I become a millionaire, would I still have the will and thoughts to set up fishing and business training school in their kampungs. Will it work when this should've happen a long time ago?

Assalamualaikum Tan Sri,
saya cuma ingin memohon jasa baik tan sri untuk memberikan sedikit bantuan kewangan kepada saya untuk melanjutkan pelajaran di universiti tanah air. saya berjaya memperoleh 9a1b dlm spm 2007.besarlah harapan saya jika tan sri mampu menghulurkan bantuan walau sebanyak mana kerana ia amat bermakna buat saya.keluarga saya tidak mampu menanggung kesemua perbelanjaan saya di universiti kerana ayah saya merupakan seorang nelayan dan terpaksa menanggung 6 orang anak.
saya pohon agar jihad saya ini tidak akan terhenti separuh jalan.
balasan dari pihak tan sri amatlah saya harapkan..
sekian terima kasih
0139660516

And this guy, is a big time loser. If I am the Tan Sri, not only I will not hulur anything, in fact, I would get my PA to give him a call and tell him to spell 'saya and jasa' properly and kalau betul ada otak, tengok betul betul blog ni, which doesn't belong to Tan Sri. What a waste of place in Multimedia College, belajar kat mana tulis comment dalam blog, tak ada justification apa-apa boleh dapat RM15 ribu? Kalau cara ni senang dapat duit, baik mintak RM15 juta!

Assalammualaikum Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar Al-Bukhary..
saye dzulhazry bin zainal abidin dari gombak selangor..
saye memohon jase baik tan sri utk menghulurkan sedikit bantuan kewangn ke atas saye.saye sedang menuntut di multimedia college jalan semarak kuala lumpur..sekarang saye di semester ke2..jumlah yuran pengajian diploma saye bernilai RM14,800..saye brharap pihak tan sri dapat membantu saye utk saye mncapai kejayaan yg gemilang..respon dari tan sri amat di perlukan..
ni email saye dzul_hz@yahoo.com
akaun CIMB saye 12230074224524

This is a good example to present a case and win your request -- from the heart. I hope Tan Sri found this.

Assalamualaikum Tan Sri.

Untuk makluman Tan Sri saya adalah ibu kepada seorang kanak-kanak yang lebih dikenali dengan panggilan “bayi biru” kira-kira enam tahun yang lepas. ADZIM AIZAN anak saya yang mengidap penyakit kronik atau nama penyakitnya PULMONARY ATRESIA WITH VENTRICULAR SEPTAL DEFECT di mana kisahnya pernah memenuhi dada surat khabar dan majalah-majalah bagi memohon bantuan orang ramai untuk pembedahannya.

Ingin saya imbas kembali, saya pernah merayu bantuan orang ramai untuk membantu saya mencukupkan kos pembedahan yang mencecah berpuluh ribu ringgit. Saya terpaksa mengenepikan rasa malu menadah tangan untuk menyelamatkan nyawa sikecil ini. Dalam usia 6 tahun tidak mengerti apa-apa penderitan yang dialaminya sendiri. Sebagai ibu saya bertanggungjawap berusaha untuk menyelamatkan nyawanya biarpun saya tahu ajal maut di tangan tuhan. Saya tidak sekali-kali akan membiarkan sahaja seperti tunggu dan lihat saat kematiannya. Walau apa sekali pun yang harus saya lakukan, saya akan lakukan biar pun terpaksa menadah tangan meminta simpati pada orang ramai.

Sewaktu dia disahkan menghidap penyakit ini saya telah membawanya ke hospital untuk mendapatkan rawatan. Malangnya saya di suruh membawanya pulang kerana pihak hospital tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa dan kenyataan doktor pakar bahawa umurnya tidak akan panjang dan hanya dapat bertahan sehingga umurnya 1 tahun tanpa memberikan perangsang atau menyarankan mana-mana pusat perubatan yang boleh membantu, betul-betul membuatkan saya hilang semangat dan kekuatan diri untuk meneruskan hidup. Namun saya tidak berhenti setakat itu sahaja, dengan seribu pengharapan saya membawanya pulang dan berikthiar dengan berbagai cara termasuklah mengunakan cara perubatan tradisional. Sehinggalah saya dinasihatkan oleh seseorang yang mana anak beliau juga mengalami penyakit yang sama dan telah selamat menjalani pembedahan. Beliau mengesyorkan supaya membawanya ke pusat Perubatan Gleneagles, Jalan Ampang. Namanya saja sudah cukup mengambarkan sebuah pusat perubatan yang ‘high class’ umpama 5 star hotel. Manakan mampu orang seperti kami mendapatkan rawatan disana. Tetapi bak kata orang duit boleh dicari, tapi nyawa tak boleh dibeli. Hanya hospital ini memberikan harapan dan peluang untuk saya mencuba nasib sikecil yang tak tahu apa-apa ini. Dan akhirnya saya diberi semangat dan perangsang bahawa anak saya akan dirawat disini dengan melakukan pembedahan kaedah terkini dan doktor pakar mampu menyakinkan saya bahawa 98% peratus pembedahan akan berjaya. Sekurang-kurangnya tidak seperti hospital kerajaan yang langsung tidak memberikan harapan, semangat apatah lagi 0% untuk anak saya terus berjuang nasib di dunia ini.

20 Mac 2007 dia telah pun berusia 5 tahun. Hanya tinggal beberapa bulan sahaja lagi untuknya menjalani pembedahan yang saya harapkan adalah pembedahan terakhirnya. Tidak sanggup lagi rasanya melihat dia dibedah dan diperlakukan seperti anak ikan. Namun apakan daya hanya dengan cara sebegitu sahaja yang dapat dilakukan untuk menyelamatkannya untuk terus hidup bersama saya di dunia ini. 2 pembedahan telah selamat dilakukan iaitu pembedahan pertama pada usianya 7 bulan (2002) dengan kos pembedahan sebanyak RM15,000 dan pembedahan kedua sewaktu berumur 2 tahun (2004) dengan kos sebanyak RM35,000. Alhamdullilah, kedua-dua pembedahan tersebut telah selamat dilakukan dengan bantuan orang ramai yang prihatin dengan memberikan sumbangan bagi mencukupkan kos pembedahan-pembedahan tersebut. Dan dengan bantuan orang ramai serta syarikat-syarikat swasta yang bersimpati dengannya lah dia sekarang hidup seperti kanak-kanak lain. Seorang anak yang comel dan bijak dan tidak akan ada sesiapa pun yang menyangka anak ini menghidap penyakit jantung kronik yang boleh meragut nyawanya sekiranya lewat diselamatkan. Cuma jika di perhatikan keadaan tubuh badan yang lambat membesar dan warna kulit yang kebiruan itu sahaja yang menunjukkan bahawa dia sedang berperang dengan penyakitnya, dan hanya dia sahaja yang tahu dan merasainya. Kedudukan jantung yang tidak normal iaitu jantungnya yang berada di sebelah kanan badan dengan satu injap dan boleh dikatakan tiada saluran darah keparu-paru atau saluran darahnya halus dan sempit yang mana boleh membuatkan darah yang menuju ke paru-paru tersumbat. Ini membuatkan keseluruhan badannya menjadi kebiruan kerana kekurangan oksigen. Dia tidak boleh terlalu aktif dan akan mengalami kepenatan dan mula lah bibir dan kukunya menjadi biru. Pengepaman darah hanya berfungsi dengan satu injap sahaja, ini membuatkan dia cepat penat dan termengah-mengah. Dia juga tidak boleh mengalami luka yang teruk kerana darah akan banyak mengalir keluar.

Pembedahan pertama dilakukan segera iaitu pada bulan Julai 2002. Right BT Shunt atau memotong sebelah bawah lengan kanannya dengan memasang satu saluran getah atau tiub sementara yang hanya boleh bertahan sehingga usianya 2 tahun sahaja. Pembedahan kedua Left BT Shunt, sepatutnya dilakukan selepas 3 bulan pembedahan pertama di bawah lengan kirinya untuk pemasangan tiub tersebut tidak perlu dibuat. Dia bernasib baik kerana pembedahan pertama itu telah menunjukkan bahawa perjalanan darah ke paru-parunya berjalan dengan baik dan kebiruan diseluruh badannya beransur hilang. 4 pembedahan dicadangkan bagi menyelamatkan nyawanya. Pada April 2004, dia telah selamat menjalani pembedahan keduanya iaitu dengan pembedahan ke atas dadanya. Saluran sementara tersebut dibuang bagi mengantikannya dengan salah satu dari urat lehernya. Pembedahan yang dilakukan hampir 5 jam itu akhirnya berjaya. Saya bersyukur dia telah selamat dari pembedahan kedua tersebut dan hanya 1 sahaja lagi pembedahan harus dilakukan keatasnya. Kini 2 dari tiga pembedahan telah selamat dijalankan hanya menunggu masa untuk menjalani pembedahan ke3 sahaja iaitu Glen Operation.

Apa yang diberitahu oleh doktor pakar, Glen Operation ini akan mempunyai banyak risiko sewaktu pembedahan atau selepas pembedahan. Kos pembedahan untuk kali ini sahaja telah mencecah RM50,000 untuk kos jangkaan sekarang. Kos akan bertambah setiap tahun dan apa yang dikhuatiri kos pembedahan tersebut akan mencecah RM80 – Rm100,000 bila tiba masa pembedahan hendak dilakukan. Kalau bukan dari sekarang bila lagi saya harus berusaha mengumpul jumlah tersebut. Dengan kedudukan saya sebagai ibu tunggal kini, saya lah yang bertanggungjawap untuk menyelamatkan anak saya untuk terus hidup seperti kanak-kanak lain. Saya bukan memohon bantuan untuk menyara makan minum kami. Saya juga bukan orang miskin untuk meminta sedekah. Tapi oleh kerana kos pembedahan dan rawatan lanjutan yang tidak mampu saya adakan maka oleh yang demikian, saya dengan rasa rendah diri memohon bantuan orang ramai agar dapat membantu saya mengumpul jumlah kos pembedahan yang akan dilakukan nanti. Saya hanya mempunyai beberapa bulan sahaja lagi untuk mengumpul sejumlah kos pembedahan tersebut. Apa yang saya risaukan ialah menurut kata doktor pembedahan harus dilakukan segera sekiranya terdapat beberapa masalah yang wujud seperti saluran tersumbat, pendarahan, paru-paru bocor dan sebagainya.

Ramai yang mempersoalkan mengapa saya tidak memohon Tabung Bantuan Pesakit Kronik yang kerajaan tubuhkan sebanyak berjuta ringgit itu??? ..........Segala segi bantuan telah saya mohon termasuk tabung ini. Semua jawapan yang diterima menghampakan dan ada juga bantuan yang saya terpaksa tunggu jawapannya selepas satu tahun iaitu selepas pembedahan dilakukan. Semuanya dengan alasan kerana ‘PEMBEDAHAN KE ATAS ADZIM AIZAN DILAKUKAN DI HOSPITAL SWASTA’ Kalau bukan kerana keprihatinan orang ramai dan syarikat-syarikat swasta yang memberikan sumbangan saya rasa sikecil ini entahkan ada atau tidak didunia ini lagi. Terlalu banyak perkara yang akan saya pertikaikan jika saya mahu berbuat demikian. Tapi untuk waktu ini tumpuan saya hanyalah untuk berusaha ke arah mencapai sasaran kos pembedahan tersebut. Saya terpaksa lupakan sementara waktu karenah birokrasi permohonan bantuan dan prosedur-prosedur yang menambahkan dan menyulitkan lagi keadaan. Bayangkalah segala-galanya saya harus lakukan seorang diri. Sayalah ibu dan sayalah juga bapa kepada sikecil ini. Kalau saya ibunya sendiri berputus asa, apakan lagi sikecil yang tidak tahu kemana arah tujuan hidupnya. Sewaktu saya menulis e-mail ini entah berapa banyak air mata yang mengalir kerana kesedihan atas apa yang terjadi. Bukan menyesal dan juga bukan dosa anak ini kerana menerima cabaran yang sebegini tapi mungkin dugaan dari Allah untuk saya agar lebih mendekatiNya. Namun saya tetap tabah dan menerima semuanya ini dengan redha. Bagi saya mungkin ada hikmah disebalik penyakit yang ditanggung oleh ADZIM sepanjang perjalanan hidupnya. Hanya ucapan terima kasih yang tak terhingga kepada Pusat Zakat Selangor dan Bank Rakyat yang banyak memberikan sumbangan dan kepada orang ramai yang telah berkorban wang ringgit untuk harga sebuah nyawa sikecil yang tidak mengerti apa-apa ini. Tanpa anda semua adakan masih ADZIM AIZAN atau ‘bayi biru’ ini dapat meneruskan penghidupannya di atas dunia ini??? Hanya tadahan tangan memohon seribu doa kepada Allah agar anda semua yang telah membantu kami mendapat habuan, rezeki yang melimpah ruah dan kesihatan yang sempurna sebagai balasan kerana sumbangan tersebut..

Untuk pengetahun Tan Sri saya telah menghantar beberapa dokumen berkaitan anak saya ini ke pejabat Tan Sri pada tahun lepas dan hingga ke hari ini tiada sebarang berita yang saya terima. Dengan sukacitanya saya sekali lagi memohon jasabaik dari Tan Sri untuk memberikan sedikit sebanyak bantuan atau memaklumkan kepada saya bagaimana cara untuk saya memohon bantuan memandangkan pembedahan semakin hampir. Sekiranya Tan Sri ingin mengetahui dengan lebih lanjut perkembangan Adzim ketika ini bolehlah berhubung dengan sy melalui e-mail. (babyadzim@yahoo.com atau tel saya di no. 017-319 5629)

NORAZIAH BINTI ABD. MANAF
A/CC NO : MAYBANK 112157022999

You Are Still the One and Only.

2008-03-27T08:59:00.006+08:00

You are still the only One who is capable of understanding and touching my soul in your infinite silence.

My Allah, guide me through rising above the noise, restlessness, insensitivity, thoughtlessness and indifference of others so I am still able to deliver my kindness unconditionally.

"The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence; not in silence, but restraint."

Erti Ikatan Silaturrahim.

2008-02-24T10:53:00.003+08:00

Darling Zacreigh,

One for dear diary.

You are sound asleep right now and we are well towards the end of mummy’s maternity leave.

Tomorrow you will be 60 days old, and berat pun dah lebih dari 5 kilo! We’re elated that you can lift your head up when you lie on your stomach, your smile makes us feel like we’re in seventh heaven but your burps are as loud as an adult’s! Hisap susu tu perlahan la sikit sayang, macam vacuum cleaner!

Mummy is enjoying maternity leave, especially the period after 44 days of pantang.
We have finished rearranging the whole apartment, the study now fits your play pen, toys, chest drawer, we just need a small corner for the study table and the book racks. There’re so many places you can choose to sleep, there’s the baby cot in my room, a mattress in the maid’s room... another mattress in mummy’s house, and a rocker in the living hall! That’s because you sleep easily but wakes up at such frequent intervals, so we have to put you down quickly where you decided to doze off.

You are growing so fast. First, mummy was afraid of missing the feel of your hick ups in the stomach and how you make mummy’s tummy senget sebelah when you feel restless of your normal position.

Then mummy was afraid of missing all your baby querks especially your cries and the way your little hands grasps and opens in response to the things happening around you and how you would make your mouth shaped the letter ‘O’ when you hear the birds chirping in the morning.

Know that when you were born Zac, when mummy was still suffering from after epidural backpain and managing the episiotamy stitches, many people came to see you.

Mummy felt very proud and ashamed at the same time. Ashamed that when they had their babies, mummy had never bothered to know, what not paid them a visit. It is the trouble mummy never thought was that important; building a good silaturrahim among cousins and friends with greater effort. You will learn the meaning of silaturrahim when you are older.

Zac, mummy and you and daddy must remember to these people. You got more than enough clothes and bedak to last you till college thanks to them:

1. Aunty Abby who was the first person to basuh your berak and trimmed your long fingernails when everyone left for home to freshen up and I was lying down quietly with you in the hospital. Mummy only knew her in a short span of time at work and she’s so kind to come and give all that helping hands.

2. Aunty Siti Zaleha who came to also visit you at the hospital. You know what! She conceived the month after that! She already has two sons, hopefully it’s a girl this time.

3. Uncle Udey for taking mummy’s pregnancy pictures and yours. He turned up at 7am to see you you know and he was also born on Raya Haji like you.

4. Tok Wan Kamaruddin and wife who already has 5 kids whom mummy don’t even know their names.

5. Tok Che Ye and Tok Che Esah. Tok Che Ye troubled herself oh so much even from the day mummy got married, she was the one who looked for the wedding planner, David Kor. Uncle David Kor likes to trouble himself for his customers, he already gave so many free things to Tok Mummy when mummy got married, then he still bother to give you ang pau. You must one day see Uncle David’s talent in craftsmenship and in raising two Muslims kids all by himself. Tok Che Esah whom mummy and daddy have not met got you your first Baby Guess outfit with pretty little fish motives on it. We must visit her one day.

6. Aunty Lynn, whom mummy regards as a sister. Mummy felt sad that mummy has to miss her farewell party and see her fly off to UK, mummy stayed home anyway because it was almost labour period. She’s so happy in UK now and mummy knows she’ll definitely meet her new flame there.

7. Uncle Saiful and aunty Lin. Uncle Saiful is mummy friend for the past 11 years, so mummy sees him more of a brother.

8. Uncle Iskandar and Aunty Raja Kamariah, they brought a unique gif t for you, a sheep soft toy that makes the sounds of wave, rain and mother’s heartbeat. It is supposed to put you to sleep and make you feel safe, but it made us to go sleep instead. Their daughter, Dian is really cute but she’s older than you are... too bad.

9. Uncle Rizal and Uncle Raj, they are so young yet they have the courtesy to pay baby visit.

10. Aunty Arne and her husband, she’s so pudgy that when she held you, you fell fast asleep. Her husband and her are such jokers. Hopefully she’s able to conceive soon too. She makes a lovely mother.

11. Aunty Didi and aunty Didee. They are not friends to each other. Aunty Didi is mummy’s office mate, mummy’s attending her wedding soon! But Aunty Didee’s wedding is one week earlier! She wants a baby as soon as possible too 

12. Aunty Munira and Uncle Isa (mummy & daddy’s landlord). They gave you a new aircond, renewed the cooking hub and even handed you new clothes. What a blessing to have such a landlord kan schpikhm!

13. Aunty Janice, mummy’s ex boss. She gave you your first gold bracelet saying. Mummy don’t know what to say, there’s enough gold given to us by her since mummy got married. You must get to know her as a friend too, she’s such a lovely and gregarious lady.

14. Mummy’s colleagues gave you money for your savings. For that, mummy must remember to cook something and send over for everyone to makan.

15. Daddy’s friend Mancung came all the way from Seremban to see you. He looks like a bachelor, I guess because he’s an avid cyclist but he has 5 children you know!

16. Aunty Nana who is going to be your new Mak Su, she got you a little jersey from Bangkok. She makes good cheese cake you know, maybe we can order one from her on your birthday.

17. Aunty Ida and Uncle Ashraf, you received so many things from them. You look so cute in the mouse outfit when we go to Ikano yesterday.

18. Aunty Shaliza, mummy’s kawan lama her advice on how to be a good baby minder is one of the best, that’s how mummy and daddy tried to manage you from getting colicky.

19. Aunty Ching2, mummy’s kawan lama who came back from UK for Chinese New Year, you got two boxes of Baby Gap stuff from her! You should get to know her son, Matthew who was conceived shortly before mummy and daddy got married.

20. Uncle Lan and Aunty Sabrina, they are daddy’s friends who gave us a lot of information on where to send you for your first education. Uncle Lan has been accompanying daddy a lot while he gets bored staying home during mummy’s confinement.

21. Uncle Lan botak came over too just to be sure you are as handsome as your daddy... uhhhuk, uhuk, uhhhuukgghh.

22. Uncle Hakim and aunty Titi who shared a lot of Javanese pantang and knowledge on how to berpantang the right way. You will get to know their son, Nazim better when you grow up.

23. Aunty Shikin and Uncle Sharul. Let’s hope aunty Shikin would conceive this year. Shikin! Go, go go!

24. Aunty Mylene and Uncle Kam. Thanks kiews for the fat ang pow.

25. Uncle Jon (your daddy's best man and punching bag) and Aunty Yin. Aunty Yin came over eventhough she had an asthma attack the same morning to see you.

26. Aunty Anees, Uncle Faizul and Tok Aunty Yah. Aunty Anees just went through corrective surgery on her reproductive system, let's hope she'll be blessed with rezeki soon.

FAMILY MEMBERS JAUH DAN DEKAT
Mummy’s side
Tok Hisham, Uncle Ashbil, Tok War, Tok Hassan and wife, Tok Nazman and wife, Tok Aziz and wife, Tok Na, Tok Su & Pok Su, Nye (your only moyang left on my maternal side), Tok Kamal and wife. Know that you are the first male grandson to your Tok Mummy and to your Nye.
Uncle Ariff and wife and Aunty Juliana.

Daddy’s side
Wan and Tok, Aunty Anyah and husband, Aunty Along and Dr. Jamali (the doctor who helped us view you in mummy’s stomach), Uncle Su. You are the 7th grandchild in your dad’s family.

Mummy and daddy must not forget to invite them to any of our upcoming kenduri makan and also to attend any of their celebrations.

Confinement Period is Over?

2008-02-09T14:17:00.000+08:00

I’ve been thinking about ...

Teh ais Mosin
Lecka-Lecka hazelnut flavour
Aunty Anne’s butterscotch pretzel
McDonald’ s Coke
Crab cooked any style
Sambal Belachan

... and of course, something that used to be a routine will become quite an Olympics in bed when you’re deprived of it for months.

I want to share so many things I’ve learnt, about the kind of service I received during labour, the logics of berpantang from my point of view, what are the things I’d swear upon for usage.

I must write them down for my own benefits and reference so next pregnancy, I will be a goddess mom... uhhuk uhuk ughuk!

Poncho shadap you!

Naked Truth.

2008-01-18T14:44:00.002+08:00

Our little Schpikhm Schwigm, Amer Zacreigh.

I have been staring at the Anniversary card and I thought there must be a better way to deliver my thoughts to you.

We just got married 11 months ago and gosh how many things have happened.

I know it's not easy to handle the ego me. But that's why I love you... the only one who can defuse the 'too long being a singleton' that I am.

I decided to share what I feel about everything that reduces me to follow Mummy, Kathy and Comot's selflessness; okay.. at least half of what they are. Purely because, this was how we got to know each other. This was the ultimate witness.

So my joy, I'd share it with you again in the silent world of cyberspace and my Allah s.w.t the Almighty.

Thank you for not just loving me unconditionally with my warts and ugliness but also taking everything else that comes with me, my pariah cats and kittens.... you know.

If I were to be reborn a million times again, I'd still want to be married to you a million times again.

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

-Craig David -UNBELIEVABLE

6th January 2007

Happy Anniversary and Happy finally being a daddy. Now you should know why I keep repeating this song in the car 10 times a day. Tapi you tu blurr.

Love you and Zacreigh so much.

AMER ZACREIGH

2007-12-28T10:01:00.000+08:00

Checked in at the dawn of Eidul Adha 20th December 2007 at 4:35am.

Little Ouches!

2007-12-13T15:02:00.000+08:00

Dear Little Pokey,

Mummy's going through yet another pregnancy challenge.... haemorrhoids. As scary as it sounds... pffffhhh... mummy's just about to clear my annual leave, everyday trying to finish as much as possible so we can have a peaceful time together and suddenly I have to go on MC, just for a day but it's dreadful.

It all happened just out of one diarhea incident yesterday, mummy can't resist the nasi lemak Pasar Malam TTDI yang kasik nangis punya tu.

I read that it is due to pregnancy doubled blood supply and they are all concentrated in the bowel area that made it all 'kemut' so, sudden gush of stuff out can tear it up, plus, the pressure you are putting on in my pelvic area... I have a feeling it made me turn into a virgin too!

Woooweee lah after pantang ni!

The doctor stuck this white bullet up mummy's ass to get things back in, if not, mummy would be walking around in the office with very itchy belly and aching backside at the same time! Macam chimp!

Takpe, I know how to maintain macam takde apa-apa.

You don't understand what mummy is saying ye? Tak pelah.

Next week, mummy's taking your Tok Mummy along for scanning. It's been 27 years since she last visited a gynae, wave at her if you're awake ok. She has thoughtfully arranged for doa selamat for your arrival and air selusuh for me. Things mummy must learn to look after you and all your future siblings.

Your daddy has been shopping and shopping and shopping. He even wants to take a long leave during mummy's. Such a mak bonda la he. But we love discovering new and pelik inventions ppl make nowadays for parents to be.

.... we hope God will help to protect us all from lupa diri seeing that you will be far better off than how Tok Mummy, me and daddy were raised.

Aunty Lina, Look at me Growing in Mummy!

2007-12-04T12:54:00.000+08:00

Aunty Lina,

It's getting very tight in here, mummy still doesn't know how to slow down when she walks, pity her, she must be suffering from a very bad back ache by now. At night I can feel how many times she changes her position, kejap belah kiri, kejap belah kanan, kejap seated, I try my best not to move too much so that she gets her sleep too. Though, my head is resting on her right, if she rest on her left side, I feel very uncomfortable.

My face feels itchy all the time, now that I grow some nails, I get to scratch my nose and cheeks, I think I sometimes give mummy a small electric shock when I accidentally scratched her stomach wall. Heheeeeee!

Daddy already bought me my NUK manicure set, but I think I trust mummy at cutting my nails more.

Aunty Lina,

I wonder what the real world is like. From here, I have heard P. Ramlee the Musical, I heard a big team of musical orchestra playing for the show. I also heard loud Swing and Jazz by Khadijah Ibrahim.... she must be a fat funny lady. Every morning I hear many kind of birds chirping and at night surah Al-Quran, cooking tips from somewhere, and daddy always talking non stop. When mummy and daddy snores, that's when I know it is time mummy will be lying down many hours.

Last weekend I heard laughter for 3 hours non stop Aunty! Is Harith Iskandar that funny? I was trying to clap too but there's not enough space, if not I would have given him, Papi and Douglas a standing ovation too.

Huuuaarrghhhhhh!!! I'm going back to sleep now. Why don't u go back to sleep too, make sure you recover from your flu quickly ok, I hope mummy and daddy will prepare live video cam on the day I get out of mummy's pouch so you can see me :)

Sign,
Little Pokey

Picture courtesy of talented photographer: Udeyismail. www.udeyismail.fotopages.com

Raya This Year.

2007-10-30T16:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Sister far away,

This is the first time I celebrate Raya with a real difference. As a wife who is also expecting, and also not having my sister with me.

Compared to our usual crazy packing the bags for our long 6-7 hours journey on every other years, this was so easy. 2 hours dah sampai kampung Poncho.

Prior to balik kampung, we have prepared all the buah tangan to be distributed to our colleagues in the office. Duit raya sikit aje, as Poncho only has 6 anak buah. Compared to the bomb we usually have to prepare for KB. So, there's a lot of room for colleagues and staff's children to receive.

The day time isn't much different then being in Kelantan, it's so hot so we ended up bathing at least 4 times a day. The practice here is, everyone makes rendang in big, big kawah on the kayu api outside the house. Mother-in-law brought 4 big bags of santan kelapa from KL.

Your bro-in-law sat infront of the kawah outside the house under the atap zink for 2 hours jaga api and the rendang. I sat inside and used my pregnancy as an excuse to be precious.

Before nightfall, they cooked sup tulang, also one big periuk on the dapur kayu api.

We get to sleep ramai-ramai at night.

The next day was still puasa day. The rascals, anak anak Dr. Lily arrived. That's when things got much more merrier.

Look at this, RM300 worth of mercun! The baby somehow doesn't show signs of distress like he usually is when I sleep on my left side. Dia suka la kot bunyi letop letop ni. Asal bukan tahap terrorist punya minat dengan bahan letupan sudah... kan Poncho!

On raya day, as usual, it is very difficult to make Poncho wear full gear baju Melayu and it doesn't help when I brought the wrong samping for him; kain pelikat sembahyang yang aku bawak! Memangla it got my MIL pelik, I saw the big question mark on her face, but I pretended Poncho was cool about it.

End up, si Poncho Mat Salleh tu walked to neighbouring places (dua rumah aje) without any samping. Serupa suruh dia pakai pyjamas aje.

Oh yes, thank goodness you have some baju kurung with you there.

We were back and Raya with mummy and dad and Comot at 6ish. So dead tired but did it.

The next day..... aaaaahhh best, pergi jalan at The Curve and it was as if it is closed just for us to saunter around. Bought study table. Soon I will be a tauke. Bisnes apa tak taula lagi.

With the little cozy place we've made ourselves, we take Raya guests 2 couples by 2 couples at a time. Poncho prepared full Northern Indian food on DeepaRaya last Thursday. When I have the time to upload pictures, I will put them up here.

Hope next year our family will get together again, this time with an addition of the baby and Comot's full grown kittens.

Tokoh yang Mulia.

2007-10-09T11:53:00.001+08:00

Did you read in the article titled 'Pay It Forward' in The Star last Sunday? It made me smile. People wrote in on how they did it.

One suggested to stick a coin at the phone booth with a 'Use Me' note on it.

One puts coins in a potted nursery just so that the 'gardener' gets her little surprise from 'mother nature'.

One gets a bouquet of flowers from the market and send it to the nearest old folks home and she's called 'gadis bunga' since.

One paid the highway toll fee for the stranger behind.

you know.... things which has no prejudice on who and what status the receiver is and there's no intention to fish for a 'thank you'.

"Verily Allah is kind and loves kindness in all affairs."

(Bukhari and Muslim)

"Allah is Kind and loves kindness, and He rewards it in a way that He does not reward harshness, and in a way unlike any other."

(Muslim)

There is one Islamic icon other than Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar Al-Bukhari whom I would like others to remember of his contribution.

Professor di Raja Ungku Aziz....

YM. Professor Diraja Tun Dr. Ungku Abdul Aziz bin Ungku Abdul Hamid (28 Januari 1922 - )

- an educationist and economist
- an Islamic activist

Among his contributions:-
* Perlaksanaan Dasar Ekonomi Baru (DEB) bagi membantu bumiputera menikmati agihan kekayaan negara serta Majlis Perundingan Ekonomi Negara(Mapen) II.
* Pencetus idea penubuhan
- Lembaga Urusan dan Tabung Haji (LTH)
- Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP)
- Angkatan Koperasi Kebangsaan Berhad(Angkasa)
- Universiti Malaya
- Akademi Islam
- Pusat Asasi Sains
- Pekanbuku.

I would consider his produce, his daughter, the current Bank Negara Malaysia, Y.M. Tan Sri Dato' Ungku Dr. Zeti Akhtar, as one of his greatest contribution too towards the society.

How many local Professors and Dr's we know that only acquire those status by reading and absorbing knowledge and just merely to be known as an intellect? and nothing else.

Amidst his deep intellectual talks as his gestures is very much Mat Salleh British, I get intrigued when he can still mention 'pedas' things such as

‘‘Ini suatu cadangan yang gila dan kurang ajar. Individu tersebut fikir dia boleh beli apa sahaja yang dia mahu kerana ada banyak wang. Saya sendiri tak kenal orang yang cuba berbuat demikian."

on rumours last June mentioning millionaire, Tan Sri Quek Leng Chan's (Guocoland (M) Sdn. Bhd.) idea to move Malaya University to Sepang and reconstruct the current site as a commercial and housing estate which project would rake almost RM10 billion.

‘‘Saya tidak fikir mana-mana universiti di luar negara sanggup dibeli oleh mana-mana individu hanya untuk kepentingan peribadi mereka kerana mereka sangat menghargai gedung ilmu,’’

I wish one day I would be able to have a conversation with him.... one day...

Ohh there's so much we can do even if we are not highly educated.

Picture ehsan dari: Udeyismail.fotopages.com I would call the picture above 'Sign of Hope'.

A Treasure Just Discovered.

2007-10-05T11:12:00.000+08:00

I was trying to surprise Poncho before Ramadhan by asking him for a date to No Black Tie and didn't tell him that a singer we knew in common is going to sing there.

Back then, I can only remember the Malay numbers she rendered like Kupendam Sebuah Duka, Doa Buat Kekasih, Potret Kekasih, Mengapa Aku disalahkan... but she's singing in a Jazz club and I wonder what the connection was.

It's a club that is surprisingly, the kind of place I dream of owning. Small, snug, woody, with a mezzanine floor that enables some audience to look downwards, most importantly, the place is so snug that everyone gets to interact with everyone. Pegi dengar orang nyanyi kat Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil tu lagi bagus tengok TV.

Khaty Ibrahim was clad in a long satin high collared black overall with red frills around the neck. There were three back up singers who are all double XL size but with megawatts smile and sleek image. So much finesse, she was really all out to make an impression, as if it is something she missed doing.

Guess who's songs she sung? She actually belted out numbers by Cole Porter, Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Ray Charles, Duke Ellington, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone and Antonio Carlos Jobim.

Yeah! She sang Don’t Rain On My Parade, Luck Be My Lady Tonight, Rollin' and Fever in her own flavour. I don't think I'm the only one yang mulut ternganga, totally surprised to see this part of her. The three girls are actually her daughters, who can sing almost as good. I could imagine how much fun they have at home jamming together in the living hall every now and then. I mean she revved her voice, she sustained long ends, very lively, very effortlessly!

In between she was joking and poking around in Bahasa about her new biz venture, a Restaurant that sells makanan Melayu near University Hospital with promises that her Ikan Masak Asam Pedas and Gulai Masak Lemak are to die for and she'd even entertain home delivery. If I'm not mistaken, it's called Khaty's Kitchen.

Seriously, if Anita Sarawak heard this, she'd feel very very small. Camelia, the jazz singer wannabe... tak payah laaa. I wonder why people never hired Khaty for special occassion events such as Secretary's week etc. She's definitely side by side with Fairuz Hussein, the Malaysian Anita Baker. I hope to see both of them in the same session one day.

We heard just a five minutes medley of all her Malay songs and it looked as if it wasn't even planned, she just squeezed it in to please the audience, and for awhile there's something to sing along with.

Despite the really bad traffic we experienced that day and the trouble to find the quaint place, we walked back feeling so inspired and proud of this elit talent.

People, go book the P. Ramlee the Musical tix quick!

EID MUBARAK

2007-10-03T16:09:00.000+08:00

WISHING YOU A GREAT RAMADHAN AND AIDIL FITRI

May all your deeds this Ramadhan be more than the last and lesser than the next!

Poncho, Maine and Baby Pokey

Apasal kan?

2007-09-25T11:22:00.000+08:00

Who needs plastic surgery, match maker and private investigator?

Apasal kan.....

Kita carik bomoh untuk tanam susuk, untuk cara shortcut carik bini and laki, semua benda-benda yang buat orang kita Melayu ni rasa insecure semuanya mintak tolong bomoh, bomoh mesti ada solutionnya. Kalau barang kemas hilang pun jumpa bomoh, boleh jumpa pulak benda tu. Segala jenis iblis dengan orang bunian semua dia boleh cari.

Who needs archeologist?
Yang baru ni ada mamat kat Melaka mengaku dia ada darah Kesultanan Melaka sebab ada pawang bagitau dia mana keris Taming Sari by making the so called Sultan's spirit find his roots. So funny to see that man menobatkan diri sendiri jadi Sultan.

But why is it....
bila budak-budak kecik hilang, tak ada pulak bomoh yang nak tampil bagi expertise tilik mana dia pegi, siapa kidnap dia suma?

Who needs Pest Control and Security Guard?
Apasal kan....

Zaman dulu-dulu diaorang pakai saka harimau berantai suma tu untuk jaga bendang, tanaman, rumah dari bencana perompak, haiwan perosak.

Sekarang semua orang tak nak warisi saka. Apasal tak pakai saka untuk jadi invisible security guard untuk their neighbourhood and halau haiwan perosak macam gagak ke?

Pay It Forward.

2007-09-12T15:34:00.000+08:00

This is a wayyyyyyyyy off the date entry in commemoration of Hari Merdeka.

Tapi I nak cerita jugak.

A guy by the nick, Swoosh#5, a Malaysian, father of two now living in Switzerland who knew about my new venture here in KL. He's definitely a complete stranger.. what brought him to message me was actually about Ujang the cartoonist.

He gave me a contact number as a prospect to try out my first venture... and BAM! the deal was sealed, in four figures. What the client will get is hopefully double or triple of what he has invested for.

Sometimes I was afraid if this would mean I'd owe him something. But he said, it's the smallest way to help out and he believe that my 'methods' will help people learn how to save money.

A guy by the name David Kor, a 60 year old single and retired Chief Steward with MAS who is now a reknown wedding concept maker for the royalties and celebs, took two Malay boys who are sons of a separated couple. He raised them by also sending them to learn the Al-Quran and put his company name under theirs. They are taught the art of welding irons, twirling organzas and lace and sculpting aluminiums to make intricate wedding accessories so David can pass the business down to them.

A couple by the name of Shan and Santha who lives 40 minutes away from a tuition center attended by knowledge deficient group of students dedicatedly 5 nights/6 days a week help out the 90% Malay, 5% Indians, 5% Chinese students to excel by charging only RM90 per mth for three subjects once a week class. They still manage to provide air conditioning in the centre by spending their own pocket money to provide a more conducive place for the students to learn and excel, sometimes spoil them with candies and taught them with lots of love and patience.

We all grow up with great ambitions, to have Masters in something, Doctorate in something, but why is it that many will go abroad to earn themselves more money and forget about how much help is needed here. Why is it that we grow up to get more just for our own body, for status...

I remember attending a Business Opportunity Session, a celeb's husband gave his testimony on how he became successful almost got me puking blood on his face while he was giving his presentation.

He asked us the normal question, WHAT'S YOUR DREAM??? And to almost everyone in the room, dream is materialistic achievements, one said it is a Ferrari (boooorrinnng!), one said it is a mansion in Monte Carlo (but with a bod that'll surely make him barred from entering the island!), another said he wants to earn RM50k a month.

All he said is in two years, he got his dream Beemer which in M'sia costs RM240K after telling his mummy, that this time he WILL become a millionaire out of doing this biz venture.

Sooo...... what???

Where's the people who can say, from all the money I earned, I get to fulfil other dream, like

own a high tech poultry farm, or

buy helicopters to transport in-distress wild animals out of food barren jungle, or
build modern free schools at a perkampungan nelayan,
put up a community service personal message billboard, or
send spoilt kids to Outward Bound School or fisherman's village homestay programs.
buy infrastructure to reinstil knowledge of cooking, sewing and homekeeping for primary school girls.

Instead of 'I bought a big car and yes I have given a hefty cheque to the old folks home... pffttttt!' or 'Yeah, I've held this charity dinner by inviting Shah Rukh Khan and sold tables for RM10k each to raise funds for the Johor flood victims'.

The good samaritans above are people who represents the Malay, Chinese and Indian race who sees people regardless of race and religion in giving their helping hands. If there's like thousands of people like this, who needs the corrupted government?

Yeaaahh..... I the holier than thou!

To My Beloved Students...

2007-08-14T12:32:00.000+08:00

I once shared a story of how I was frustrated with one of my students whose parents were too ignorant that he's supposed to wear glasses. He couldn't see clearly; caused his backwardness and made his classmates shun him out.

It's only been a six months project for me and my husband. He drives me to the tuition center three times a week and diligently waited for me. We both sometimes sacrifice our dinner to get there on time.

I am about to put it to a stop as I need to concentrate on putting on more weight for the poor baby inside.

I wrote a straight forward message to the boy's parents. If they want him to be able to learn, he needs to be able to see to be able to read. Today, he looks like the clever Harry Potter in his new glasses, still timid but smiles a lot more in the classroom. At Std 3, he's going to start from ABC again but I hope someone will help him out on that.

I am pleased to see their latest test results, they fared better in English than Bahasa and half of them got A's where many improved from always getting 50's now up at 70's. Some started to mimmick me when they want to express themselves, like saying 'Oh my God!' 'Oh, I'm sorry!' 'Please may I?' 'But how?' If I could take off my teacher's helmet, I would just squeeze them to death.

No more one way communication, they are slowly getting used to sharing something back to me though it's still in Bahasa. It's all I wanted to see, that there's a sign of life, instead of separating themselves; boys with boys, girls with girls - fearful of wrong answers or stupid remarks... those silly things.

I know... if they just can't speak or learn English, some of them has talents for other things, like probably turning into a Malay comedy actor, a very enterprising kedai kopi owner, there's nothing wrong with that, it doesn't mean they are losers. I hope if it happens, they would do it passionately.

The people I respected most is the runner of the centre, Shaan and Santha (husband and wife team). I don't know how they pull it through just charging RM90 per mth for three subjects per month 8pm-10pm daily. There's definitely no boundary in terms of race here. They teach with

intuition, we share the same sentiments with why some students are over sensitive or just wouldn't speak. I would write more about them one day.

These little kids, though got scolded over and over again, would still come in front and kiss our hands before they go home and yes, it is even accompanied with eye contact, not just the Muslims kids, the Chinese and the Indians too!

I thank two people who got me here. I learnt abundance of humbling things; mystellar for introducing me to this place and my husband who drove, waited, starved and shut his mouth from telling me to just rest though I was going through unstable period in my first trimester.

What is happening to me?

2007-07-27T15:39:00.000+08:00

The preparation for the nikah and sanding took about a year. Then, I thought, it can't be too difficult to carry out the responsibility of a wife... afterall, bestfriends can always be ~~bullied~~ tolerant with each other....

There are times I get frantic if I fail to find time to cook for him in the weekdays. There are times I get frantic if there's a crease on the collar of his office shirt and with breakfast to prepare and he has only five minutes before he needs to leave, I'd go ballistic! Did he ask for all these? Nope.

Soon I'd think about when could I find the time to scrub the bathroom, re arrange the study, change the one headed pipe at the washing machine to a twin pipe so it's easy for me to bathe our coming baby.... should I change the way we behave on certain things, like everyone should be seated at the dining table, doa makan first before we start gorging. Ohhh!! How do we make time for friends? There's in-laws of each other to visit, our own furniture hunting (yeap still!), stealing time for short holidays.... waaaaaaiiiit a minute, no more brisk walking!!!! I must get back to dancing.... ouupphhhhh that's next year.. oowwwhhh.

To think how best I could carry out the responsibilities of a wife is one, three months through this marriage, a little dot the grew in me did quite sent us jumping all over the place. Poncho is already looking through baby's clothes and push chairs at month two while I'm still thinking if we could get a cozier set of sofa to laze around on during my unproductive lazier, heavier, third trimester days.

Then I began to sit down infront of the PC and thought.... why don't I just tryyy to do everything through the internet... just like dem people overseas.... juussttt get things in a click of a finger.

Geeeezzz, I didn't know I'm in for the greatestest surprises! Shazmin fm pointed us to fitfor2.com wuuuhuuuu there's a place for preggie woman like me to go for a little work out without the price of Fitness First.

I know... I'm sooo jakun.

I'm gonna have this gorgeous Anya Hindmarch clutch bag:

and yeah... how about the idea of ordering furnitures through snail mail... ohhh, therapy great therapy!! Finally I found something with the right amount of drawer and wide arm space to spend time thinking what I should blog in the next 10 years and where all Poncho's thick stack of bills can be stored so he can seeeeee them. And it's not the price of what you see in Grange, gila ke satu study table kat situ RM3000!!

..... okay now. Move on to expenses on maid, that Preg Prego stroller, the Lensvik baby cot to match the rest of the things in the study.... oh my, oh myyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

K lah, tak yah belilah handbag tu. Biarlah aku mati.

The Lost Generation

2007-07-25T12:39:00.000+08:00

Picture by muddybok

“Mana pergi budak zaman sekarang? Budak zaman sekarang mana gheti nak appreciate the kampung life?”

My dad lamented.

*conversation with my dad at my late grandma’s kampung last week at Kuala Pilah.

I nodded in agreement. It's so sad when I see that the kids nowadays are more interested with their playstation and notebooks even when they are here.

When I was their age, I remember counting the days when the school holidays would start as we would all be plonked at the kampung for at least a good one week.

Once there, everyone would only see my face during breakfast, lunch and dinner. Other times would be busy trapping birds, buffalo riding, bathing in the river behind the paddy field, fishing for Gouramis and Ikan Betuk at the bogs and basically doing anything outdoors.

I remember saving up my pocket money for my first pen knife (I was too young to carry a parang) when I was 10 years old and chained it proudly to my pants pretending to be the Camel Adventure Team Man.

I knew which plants and fruits were edible, which trees branches were good for making swords – eg. Kayu cenderai, while using a tempurung kelapa as the hand guard and good ole real gunny string as the handle cover. Using pokok jambu batu for kayu lastik. (The cenderai leaves were natural sandpaper and I used to it to smooth my swords, bow and arrow and lastik wood).

I learnt to climb a coconut tree and pluck fresh coconuts and chewing on sugarcane sticks to get that sugar high.

I had no qualms walking in the mud and the paddy fields, pulling off leeches on my feet and between my toes, squeezing tobacco water (taken from my late grandma’s Rough Rider and Craven A ciggies) on them and seeing them roll off. I vividly remember that HUGE stripey lintah which bit my toe and left blood all over my rubber slippers.

I remember wearing my late grandmas huge Mengkuang hat (which you only see in painting nowadays) for protection against the rain or just a banana leaf. I remember seeing the tracks of the herd of wild boars that caused havoc around the tapioca trees.

I remember my late grandma sitting on the main stairs kissing me and saying "datang balik yor.." (come back again OK?) with tears rolling down her cheeks when we leave back for KL, everytime until she passed away in that house. Especially, that sad and fornlorn look on her face when my parents were putting the luggage in the trunk. ...

As I walked under the old Rambutan trees that was planted for each and every one of my siblings by my late grandmother thirty two years ago, I could not help but think about the past and how I am blessed to have such an experience.

It’s really ridiculous that you get doughy, untanned urbanites to actually PAY MONEY to get half of this experience nowadays. ….walking gingerly in the mud with their expensive Nike shoes and socks – looking like fat gullible tourists.

Me and Maine vowed that we shall not raise our kids to be environmentally illiterate…

Posted by The Ponchoman

Balik ke Kampung Poncho.

2007-07-09T16:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Abby the Real Intellect,

Just to share you a story that has to do with your comment on getting tourists do the real kampung thing, stay in a kampung house, pasang ubat nyamuk, tidur ramai-ramai.

Ever since I got pregnant, I was actually waiting for my own craving querks. Tapi tak ada pun, those I demanded are just due to avoid me feeling queasy against certain funny smelling food.

The only thing I longed for was to just sit in the middle of the woods. I just wanted to hear birds chirping, the sound of leaves grazing against each other, crickets ricketing at dusk, trees that bear tropical fruits and the sound of snapping branches under my feet as I walk pass all the trees.

I read recently in the papers, there's this homestay program at Kampung Hj. Doramy in Sabak Bernam that offers real life experience at the bendang, harvesting mangoes and coconuts. Learn batik drawing, make traditional kuih-muih. Wow!! Kan!!

But Poncho said, "Baik balik kampung."

I agreed immediately as my kampung is right smacked in the middle of a pekan.

We convoyed with his parents car. Reaching Kuala Pilah is abreeze. Of course I felt this way after comparing the hours we always made to Kota Bharu.

His mak bought blue crabs to cook us Ketam Gulai Kuning. She brought the mangkuk tingkat that is filled with other prepared lauk she cooked since 4am this morning at home. I saw golden fried cekodok in there too... emmmm!!!

We walked out the car, the land is big enough to place three big kampung houses within the same enclosure. They're owned by Poncho's mum's siblings. Bila sampai aje, Kak Long Milah who's staying in the adjacent house called us over. Oh gosh, there were durians waiting to be eaten. Kitaorang bentang tikar belakang rumah and makan bawah langit while I was trying to understand their Nogoghi dialect.

Poncho bukak baju menunjukkan perut pregnant nya and started the grass cutting machine.
We later on carik buah manggis lepas makan lunch.

At night... halamak, nak mandi tu yang lemah gila tu. Air panas takde (mengadala nak buat perangai orang bandar pulak).

I got it Abby, we did the kampung thing at last. Tidur atas tilam kekabu atas lantai, pasang ubat nyamuk and the cengkerik was making the background music.

It's a goal that must come true, we want to buy a land and build a rumah batu and kayu with a big garden to plant all the fruit bearing trees.

To be continued by Poncho.... I hope. This time, the content is dedicated to Jemey.

An Indigenous mechanic in a Bavarian Workshop

2007-07-02T13:42:00.000+08:00

Meet Khamis - a BMW and Mercedes Benz specialist.

I was introduced to Khamis recently for servicing and since the job required more time than anticipated, I had to ask him a favour to pick up Maine at home as I had initially planned to pick her up for her tution class.

During the journey from Shah Alam to TTDI, we initially talked about usual car things and I asked him how he became a BMW and Merc specialist.

He started to rattle on about the technical aspects of all the latest BMW and Merc engines, spouting out names and figures with an Indonesian sounding like accent with his take on the pros and cons of valvetronic and kompressor engines.

I knew that that he was more than just talk, when he shared with me a recent incident when his towkay sent him to help a man in distress when his one month old S Class just stalled in the middle of a roundabout. He came with the portable computer in tow, did the diagnosis, but the computer still failed to detect the reason on the sudden engine shutdown.

Then he decided to backtrack the few meters of the car journey and found out that there was a pool of water which the owner drove into. After using his instincts, he finally managed to find the problem.

The driver hit the pool of water at such an angle that water was sucked into his air flow and into the engine. Wow….nobody thought of that. And true enough, this was the reason when they sent it back to the workshop.

Well, good for him you might say….they are a few chaps out there who are good in their trade.

I too had the same thought when our conversation switched to personal matters when said:

Khamis : Saya sebenarnya orang asli bang…

Poncho : Eh?….

Khamis : Saya orang Jakun dari Johor dan isteri saya orang Semai duduk kat perak..

Poncho : Oh….so you keturunan orang asli aje la….

Khamis : Tak. Saya memang hidup sebagai orang asli dari kechil. Saya tak pernah pergi pergi sekolah pun….

Poncho : Eh, abis tu macam mana awak boleh repair keta BMW dan Mercs dari atas sampai bawah?

Khamis : Saya masuk belajar kursus bengkeI IKM. lepas tu tawkey lama saya ajar repair keta. Mula2 keta jepun…lepas tu saya belajar buat BM dan Mercs….sampai sekarang….

I asked him how he learnt to read and write especially when using those complicated diagnostic machines and he replied:

"Ala….kita belajar je la bang….bapak saya dari kecil selalu kata jangan sekali-kali cakap kita malas atau letih. Orang asli kata apa kita cakap, mesti akan masuk ke dalam hati…jadi kita kena jaga apa yang masuk dalam hati kita…."

Wise words indeed. From a wise young indigenous man.

But what makes me really proud is that this is an orang asli who can dismantle and deciphere advanced german engines without even going to school.

Makes you kinda wonder why we all bother to slog ourselves in getting our tertiary education.

Khamis can be found at Autopex Glenmarie, Batu Tiga, Shah Alam.

Posted by Poncho.

URBAN DECAY - Gizmos and Kidsmos

2007-06-20T15:56:00.000+08:00

There is this kid in Std 3 that never fails to make my blood go upstairs.

Each time there’s work on the whiteboard that needs to be copied down, he’s always the last to finish – 1/2hr after the rest. After a month, I tested his alphabetical fluency; as suspected, he failed! In much agony, I tested it on other weak students, ditto! Okay, I reckon some families can’t be blamed if they can only afford day care cum nursery as means of pre school.

He can’t understand 90% of English words in the workbook, let alone even pronouncing them correctly. The word ‘day, year, choose, like, make, opposite, above’, no he doesn’t understand them. I panicked trying to think where should I begin to get this boy to buck up, there’s absolutely no time with 13 impatient students in one session.

I don’t know if matters are worst when classmates bluntly call him slow and stupid. Coz when I asked him if he knows what others are saying, he’d just lift his shoulders.

But something about the boy that is just very disturbing. When he stands up to answer, it is impossible to gain eye contact, he’d fidget till it seems like his bones are all dislocated, his mouth can’t seem to close yet not the slightest octave came out of it, and his eyebrows would rise in the act of complete innocence. I was very suspicious of how he was brought up. Judgmental shtmental, kids who has problems with eye contact and low self confidence reflect lack of attention.

One day I caught him squinting his eyes so badly to focus on the whiteboard.

Shit! Rabun rupanya. In my mind, how is it that he is 9 years old and the parents haven’t realise this. My blood started to simmer, thinking how ignorant the parents are. Tau buat anak aje ke.

Yeap, yeap, yeap...Judgmental shhhmental.

Kalau tak nampak, macamana nak paham. Kalau tak paham macamana nak tahu.

“Mak awak tahu tak awak tak nampak?”

Nodded his head and that almost got vibrated his body down the floor.

“Abang kakak awak ada yang pakai spek?”

Nodded his head.

“Kenapa awak tak pakai?”

….. eyes staring up the ceiling.

“Awak tak ada mulut ke?”

“Mak cakap tak payah”

“Adik, bapak adik kerja apa?”

“….. kotak.”

“Apa?”

“Jual air kotak.”

At that time I felt like a total idiot. For allowing my blood to boil my anger up my ears in the past on this kid.

I discovered that he has 4 siblings and a homemaker mum. Soon after, I snapped out of thinking I was the idiot. Why would someone who works as that makes so many kids in this busy demanding city? Kejam, do they know that they are being cruel? Hmmpphh…

Last Sunday was an eye opener. It was open day for parents to review their kids' test results.

The learning centre’s principle snapped at me, ‘His father sells what? We send him home everyday, his father is an engineer la. Got one Estima and a Honda some more?’

.....I rasa macam nak pass out. Hari tu sikit lagi nak bawak dia pegi kedai optical belikan glasses. And my expenses plan next month to buy a few of them better dictionary.

‘I think you should know by now Mainey, parents who are busy working have no difference than our parents in those days. Except, they don’t know how to show that they care and love their children. Bukan susah sangat nak pandang muka anak-anak diaorang and say ‘how are you sayang’ or ‘how’s school today’. Semua orang punya rumah yang I hantar mereka balik tuition, semua orang in the family tu bercakap dengan TV, Playstation and handphone. That is why B.Malaysia, their own language that they should speak everyday pun boleh fail. 20%, 30%’

True enough, I sat there for just one hour observing conversations between parents and the principle, most parents vow to lock the playstations away, try to come home earlier and try to communicate with their children more.

Perhaps this only happens in this alien area.

Baby Ponchomaine

2007-06-14T12:00:00.000+08:00

Hello world!!

Mentaliti Kita Mengharamkan Ketam.

2007-06-08T09:28:00.000+08:00

Malays can do the most sickening things to make this religion ugly. One of it is of course, by disallowing Lina Joystick to change her religion status in her ID from Islam to Christian. We rather mask a non Muslim in a Muslim identity just because we are afraid letting one go, and assume many others will do the same. Malays and our emotional assumptions and our laziness to understand our religion through understanding Al-Quran. Oh, understanding our religion is so uncool! It's an old age thing!

Take an example of when the non Muslims ask you out to eat at Fatty Crab. And you go 'I can only eat flower crab, the deep sea crab'. The 'both worlds' animals we are not allowed to eat. The non Muslims would ask, why would your God disallow? And you again say, 'it's a 'both worlds' animal.

How very enlightening.

We can't explain our religion and then we want to force people not to get out of it.

I asked enough people, where do they get this from? In a better expression, mana diaorang dapat cerita niiii?

They said, 'Ada dalam satu dalil, Tuhan mengharamkan bunuh katak.'

'Tuhan haramkan bunuh katak sebab apa? Apa kena mengena dengan makan katak?'

'Kalau Tuhan haramkan bunuh katak, maknanya makan katak pun haram'

*In my heart macam biasa assume, assume, assume.

'Ok, jadi apa kena mengenanya dengan ketam?'

'Katak haiwan dua alam. Ada sesetengah jenis Ketam pun dua alam.'

'Awak tau tak haiwan dua alam dalam sains tu dipanggil apa?'

'Apa?'

'Amphibia, awak tau apa maknanya tu?'

'.....'

'Amphibia tu maknanya haiwan dua alam yang melalui metamorphosis, pertukaran struktur badan yang nyata. Macam katak tu awak tau tak masa dia masih berudu dia bernafas dengan apa dalam air?

'Dengan insang.'

'Bila dah jadi katak, ada paru-paru kan? Barulah nyata dia hidup dalam dua alam.'

'Ha'ah'

'Ketam ada melalui metamorphosis ke?'

'Errr, tak kot'.

'Ok, ikan sembilang yang sama-sama duduk dalam lumpur dengan ketam tu kira haiwan dua alam jugak ke? Tapi kita makan kan? Tuntung (terrapins) yang boleh bernafas dalam dan luar air tu haiwan dua alam jugak ke, telur dia kita semua makan.

Ketam batu dengan ikan sembilang, dari kecik sampai besar dia bernafas dengan insang. Haiwan tak berdarah. So what's the problem?'

'Ha'ah ek!'

'So, now we know ketam bukanlah haiwan dua alam, can we eat it, like we eat ikan sembilang?' *I was just teasing.

'Err... tak tau la.'

*** Eiiii &%^%$%^#!!!!

'Lagi satu aku I don't understand.
'Oi,we know, hukum yang nyata tu ialah Islam mengharamkan:
1. memakan bangkai, atau yang jatuh dari tempat tinggi, dibunuh dengan
cara kejam, dipukul hingga mati
2. memakan binatang yang bertaring
3. memakan babi
4. meminum arak
5. telah dimakan oleh binatang liar kecuali sempat disembelih mengikut
tertib
6. yang dipotong di atas tempat penyembahan berhala'
Others: yang memudaratkan dan beracun.

Itu yang nyata. Ada tak dalam tu atau dalil nyata kata haram makan haiwan dua alam?'

'Tak de'

'Jadi katak tu kita boleh makan lah!?'

'Eh tak boleh!'

'Apsal pulak, sekarang dia ada paru-paru, dia jadi haiwan berdarah. Sembelih then makanlah'.

'!!!!!!'

'You ni kan... dalil pun ada tulis. Apa sahaja yang kita sangsi, jangan la makan. Babi pun haiwan berdarah jugak, tapi kalau kita sembelih maknanya boleh makan ke?Dalam dunia ni Tuhan dah jadikan binatang yang produce susu lebih dari keperluan sendiri, produce telur lebih dari keperluan sendiri, binatang besar yang bagi supply daging yang banyak. Haiwan di laut yang boleh ditangkap berkapal-kapal. Sayur dan buah berkebun-kebun.'

Kita Melayu ni baca URTV rajin sebab malas nak pikir banyak sangat. Patutla kaya Karangkraf.

I have asked Dr. Asri the Mufti of Kerajaan Negeri Perlis. He said memang tiada dalil mengatakan tak boleh makan haiwan dua alam. There you go!

Who's the Real Public Nuisance?

2007-06-01T11:15:00.000+08:00

Did you guys read about the 38 year old man who gets 12 strokes and 60 years jail for sodomising a form 3 boy for 22 times last week?

The parents of the boy were furious only because their son hadn't been coming home and the boy had no other excuses but to say he was sodomised.

Okaylah, memanglah scary budak form 3 kena sodomize dengan 38 year old man. But if he allows himself to be screwed on the backside 22 times and still able to get away with it??? I just don't get it.

The 38 year old man said that the boy was the one who doesn't want to go home and the one who kept trying to seduce him though he's been trying to stop.

..... tried hard to see the cause. How both of them met is because they are co-workers. What is a form 3 boy doing working with much older men?

And the judge hath spoken, he's the older one. He should stop it from ever happening at all.

So??? Mak bapak dia tak patut kena public reprimand or in this case detention on public service sebab suruh anak jadi underage labour and mix entah dengan sapa-sapa?

The boy and the parents get to be free. Where's the justice?

I still also remember the story of the missing boy, 'Yin' at the Sogo Supermarket. The surveillance camera clearly showed that the parents were busy digging in the bins of stuff on sale and the boy was pressing the lift button going up and down the building and finally out of the premise.

Only when the boy was found would their parents confessed that he's abnormal and could not speak normally.

For this case, Judge Maine would've declared to jail the parents and concurrent counselling for negligent parents. Itu pun sebab diaorang takde duit, if not I would've saman them for wasting the society's time and press space.

Something is wrong with us, we sympathize public nuisance.

Organised Chaos.

2007-05-21T11:51:00.000+08:00

It was my first experience seeing Air Asia super punctual.

I took 10 sachets of Chilly Sauce from the departure hall cafe with me. I know Lina and Poncho will appreciate it later.

All the controversial stories about Suvarna Bhumi Airport killed my curiosity. But the name is so beautiful - The Land of Gold.

From the moment I landed, the feeling is just the same as my trip to Yangon and Phuket. I reached a place that magnifies their belief, one will instantly acknowledge who their ruler and what their official religion is.

Least that I knew, all of us would get on a hi every minute we were there. Not on their non stop porn - but many other things which are more naked.

I love the morning scenes, everyone's on their feet, everyone's with their own purpose of life

.... pushing their 'Som Tam' cart, then frying the fish, chicken and cut up the veges, just to sell Som Tam day in, day out.

.... frying grasshoppers, ciccadas and queen termites, inhale their rokok daun the whole day

.... pouncing and doughing their customers feet and body non-stop sometimes from 9am to 11pm

.... driving the cab and tuk-tuk on high traffic areas without a hint of angst

.... it's a pious Buddhist country, but mosques are also prominent structures

Everything I whine about in my blog all these months are answered ....

.... we were served with real plates and fork and spoon in the fast food restaurant. They'd still wash the plates.

.... they don't serve soft drinks in plastic bottles, good old days seeing restaurateurs cracking bottle caps off Coke bottles. They'd reduce wastes.

.... no kapchai on the road! You can make a U-Turn in the middle of the busy highway and it is not against the law. And no one would even stare cock at you.

.... everyone tries to differentiate their businesses. Visit Chatuchak and you know what I mean. They'll differentiate by making the things they sell themselves. One young man was juggling and balancing football under the rain with a donation can that says, "I am a talented footballer, help me buy better boots and eat nutritious food so I can contribute back to my country". It doesn't matter if it's not for real, but for doing that the whole day, it's too much lying for a few measly cents.

Poncho's friend, Mr. Prasanth, who is 52 years old waited at our hotel at 8am on our second day to take us out to do all the touristy things -- to walk 5 hours in the hot sun with us so that we see all of the palace, the temple, the Chulalongkorn's teak palace.

.... if he comes to Malaysia, where do I bring him???? Our Petaling Street doesn't denote my country's official religion and everything in it are not made in Malaysia, all the fruits are from Thailand. We only have our mosques to show our religion, maybe Putrajaya's. But it doesn't show our ethinicity. Oh.... please don't mention The Beach, The Beach, The Beach again! No, not the smelly, dark, empty muzium. Do I have to go to the extent of driving him to Melaka, to see Portuguese stuff without going to Portugal? Or do I have to fly together with him to Sarawak to show him Orang Iban or bring him to Perhentian to see half dead corals to compensate it all? Oh, no. I'm not going to bring him to Mid Valley, One Utama, Sunway Piramid, there's nothing in there!

I think...... I better find out more about Kelantan and Trengganu from Saiful Nang, so I can be a better informer about my country and its identity. Tell me I'm wrong!

The Legendary Jaafar Taib and his Mentee

2007-05-07T10:27:00.000+08:00

A year ago I put in a post about this talented individual.
http://maine-ideas.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_archive.html

And boy, how time flies!

We were at the KL International Book Fair again last weekend. From a distance we observed him and the body signals that he was sending was totally different than last year. What was evident was his renewed self-confidence.

Exactly a year ago we met him, he was initially very reserved, wearing a cap pulled way down and seemed very uncomfortable to be in the public. This was consistent with his recluse behaviour for all these years with all the problems of the world resting heavily on his shoulders. But now he was happily chatting with his fans and even dancing while being photographed.

With a movie in the pipeline, animated cartoon series in production and a reprint of past works in demand, you have certainly got your groove back, Ujang!

Jaafar Taib

What was really interesting was that we finally meet his guru- the legendary Jaafar Taib. This is the man who I would I say had pioneered the cartoon industry in Malaysia and had single handedly held the fort for the past thirty years. He is the only Malaysian artist/cartoonist versatile and consistent enough to produce both lifelike paintings and cartoons for such an incredible time span.

He was totally the opposite of what we had envisioned him to be as an artist- deep in thought, recluse and an introvert. On the contrary, he had an air of a very distinguished and learned gentleman and reminded me those post colonial malays, not unlike Kam Raslan’s ficticious Dato’ Abdul Hamid.

I told him that I first discovered his works when I bought my first Gila-Gila magazine waaaaaaaay back in November 1979. I was only seven years old then but I vividly remembered his painting on the cover - a man sleeping under a coconut tree with his goat eating the grass around him to the shape of the GG logo. So you can imagine that interviewing the man after reading and admiring his works after that fateful day, twenty eight years ago is so surreal!

Painting and drawing to Jaafar Taib has always a labour of love. In the span of thirty years he has painted on numerous subjects. For example, his Sang Kancil series took him five years to complete. And that consisted of five hundred paintings (that’s about 2 paintings a week for five years, wow!) on top of managing Creative Enterprise (CESB). In addition, he is also discussing with parties to do animation series on past GG works and plans to exhibit his paintings on Malaysian birds in the near future.

Jaafar Taib with Ujang in the background

Not many individuals are lucky enough to do what they love for a living. These are individuals with character that has stood the test of time. Only if we look and seek hard enough, these gems are still abundant, steadfast, as always.

In our screwed up world of reality SMS TV, Chicken Coop Parliament and Pyongyang styled media, shallow icons and worse still, brainless followers with their herd mentality, it is very reassuring to note that there is still some hope for Malaysia.

The funny thing was when I came back later to the booth to take more photos, Ujang told him that I was actually Poncho and he was like:

“ Laaa……you ke Poncho? Yes, yes…. I read about the blog”

I told him that Maine Ideas was actually Maine (who at that moment was at another booth). What was really funny was when he then said:

“So Maine is your younger sister?”

“Errr…..nooo….she’s my wife and she’s actually 32 years old”

Hai….kembang ler Mrs. Maine……

Life is getting more and more interesting every day.

Ponchoman

Thank You Pok Ku!

2007-05-03T15:02:00.000+08:00

I came back from a long escapade and among the first few things Poncho did was to check the blog. Mentang-mentanglah ada N73.

Truthfully, MI readership only goes up to a max of 150 per day on weekdays. To stand out in Pok Ku's eyes and the very few commentors and at times, impart opinions towards nothingness is more than rewarding. The highest hit I can remember was 400 readers a day for 2 weeks after Saiful Nang linked his fp to mine. See, nowhere compared to TV Smith - 14000 hits a day?

Even discovering blogging itself has brought so much magical things. Yes darling Poncho? We got married because we met in tblog (whatever happened to TheRoadie?) and went through many crazy things and met many interesting people and seen many different places.

My first blog was named Maineframes, it was not started by me, but created and branded by the late legendary blogger - Joe Blogs. If any one still remember the Supandi Saga (the Melayu who conned so many Melayus who got caught red handed by bloggers) and the funds to save the unfortunate baby who's born with her brains outside her skull - late Mariam Mia.

Back then, blogging was a tool to discharge my frustrations about the society. Later I realised, like late Johan Ismail, one can make many small contributions through blogging.

Thanks to Poncho's patience and encouragement, I got to do a few small time 'Pay It Forward' projects. To name one, providing English part time classes towards kids from the lower middle income bracket families.

One could complaint till the cows come home about the society, but yeah, talk and blog are the cheapest ways to show that we care.... everyone loves to sound like a great society's psychoanalyst.

Poncho and I hope to be able to share the experiences we gain from the things we try to contribute towards others with whatever cents, five senses and sticks that we have through this means.

Pok Ku will always be the all time Thinking Blogger award winner. I liked what Stingray wrote about self analysis, except this American Idol mumbo jumbos but he stopped after he found his other half... sheesshhh! Awang Goneng makes me think and worry if I forget my office assignments, but I appreciate his research work on history very very much.

Amir Hafizi is an intelligent and hillarious pemaki hamun, that's why nobody bother to saman him. I hate to read about politics but at least I know some stuff through his mind. Fazu, for his talent in intertranslating and jazzifying Bahasa and English poems and sajak. I thought it is stuff capable only by the retirees!

I hope photoblogs are also accepted, the message sent through Saiful Nang's photos got me closer and closer towards the rural part of this country, thinking harder on how to embrace the colours. How he runs his business is a good inspiration; sharing experiences even with his competitors!

Thank you Pok Ku and thank you readers!

Jangan Pandang Langsung!

2007-04-27T10:46:00.000+08:00

Memang terral la the cinema preview editor dia. We saw only the part when they are trying to remove the hantu out of the pakcik's body and all those flying shadows. So intriguing.

Tapi bila tengok sendiri... halamaaaaak.

It doesn't help when my mother keep saying 'macam Std 4 kid la the girl, cannot la like dis!' But we spent RM11 per ticket, we'd walk out of Cicakman, but this one, we stayed to trryyy to give it more chance to build up.

All other ghosts come as shadows or figures. Ini, kalau ye pun jangan la nampak sangat macam hantu pakaian beragam. Isshhh apasal laaaa tangan dia asyik naik nak tunjuk kuku panjang tu, macam dah tak ada action lain. In all books they just duduk diam tunduk kepala aje apa. Hantu tau la dia buruk, mesti tunduk kepala punya.

Another part that shows not enough thought and passion to produce seni yang bagus. Bila hantu tu terbang, kain dia boleh jatuh ke bawah, mengikut hukum graviti pulak... eiiissshhh. And then the bloody wires can be seen so many times.

Cicakman can be lucky the first time, so is this one.

My brother in law call it 'Hantu Jagung Nelson'!.

I really hope Dukun won't let us down.

Everybody.. have a long good weekend!

My Joy

2007-04-20T10:04:00.000+08:00

It's not an easy task.... sometimes speeding all the way from the Golden Triangle to reach home, serve us both dinner for just 1/2 an hour, and then Poncho will jatt me off to an area through the dark road near RRI where the teaching center is. Classes begin at 8pm. I just do this twice a week though. But I am never tired at the end of it.

The classes are held in a double storey link house, all rooms are so small and floors are sticky. The kids are seated on just plastic stools. I learnt that their families are mostly, those who just moved to KL.

The fee is dirt cheap, 4 subjects once a week for RM90 a month.

Cute though, they'd come in their pyjamas and powdered face and water bottles.

A class not more than 7 students is all that I could handle. But the students keep coming. The Std 3 classes are growing, from 6, now to 9 and the last... to 12.

Somehow they scare me the most, a little boy, Ravi, is too smart for this Malay majority area. He finishes his work so fast and then throws the workbook at me to get it signed quickly. I'd snap once in awhile, then he'd race to the front and stop others from submitting their work so he'd get his done first.

I don't believe in shutting them up or stopping them from jumping around. So I guess they get to step on my head many times. See, if they stop jumping, they'd get sleepy and bored.

Then there's Hakim, with two deep dimples and smiles a lot who keeps getting poked and hit by Ravi. This boy would play hide and ambush and scare the begezzuzz out of the girls. He has a like-hate relationship with Ravi, they still sit together despite the fights.

Last week, they received their quarterly test results and for the first time, Hakim got sober.

"Teacher, how many people in Std 3?"

My heart completely swell. Hakim spoke in English! And he cared how well he did.

That's quite a good progress after two months.

So I continued announcing their positions. Ravi the infamous, got no 1 out of 20 students there. I was surprised, he wasn't show offy about it as he is everytime he finish his work early.

"What am I going to do with you who still gets 50 and below?"

Eiman: Teacher! Ok! We give them SMACK DOWN teacher!

.... another one expressing himself in full English!

Ravi: Teacher...

.. sarcasm coming.

Ravi: You should bring rotan!

"Yes! And I must only use it on you!"

Ravi: Teacher (in his "bayi" accent), you must also bring oil.

In my heart, I thought, ohhh.... ada jugak belas kesian dia nak ubatkan orang kena rotan.

Ravi: Then you must bring lighter teacher!

Me: ???? Why???

Ravi: You dip the rotan in the oil and then you light it with fire and then .. (he started running around the class with a long ruler in his hand).

!!!!!

That's what I mean. If I stop them from making noise and jump around, they'd get deprived of expressing themselves.

Mati Puncak.

2007-03-30T17:09:00.001+08:00

It was a rainy Saturday morning last week. We were too lazy to make our way for our Bangsar breakfast routine. So we settled for any outlet in TTDI instead.

As usual, there're always a few posh wheels parked outside East n West. I ordered my normal roti bakar and Nescafe Tarik while husband ~~piggishly~~ happily plonk a mixture of nasi lemak and fried kuey teow.

My side view, across the road from the restaurant parked the latest S350. A slim shouldered guy in his late 30's walked through the rain to take an umbrella in the boot.

I was staring blankly towards my front view. But I can't help noticing a menacing big black pick up truck fully covered with 4 extra spotlights.

Another slim shouldered man in his early 40's with an umbrella in his hand and a ciggy in another, smiling to himself.

In my head, hmmmmm..... ini mesti ada masterplan ni. Park kereta kat sini pastu pegi main golf. Perfume semerbak satu restoran.... must be Chinese golf...

Later, both guys stood together continuing their smoke.

Another man in his late 40's walked out from the restaurant, in light blue shirt and white pants and a cigar. His son of younger than 11 was by his side.

I thought, hmm.... good alibi to bring.

Then the two men with the umbrellas came towards him and umbrella-ed both the man and his kid towards the S350!

One man, started the engine. Another walked towards the pick up truck.

"Ooohhh, ingatkan tiga mamat tua nak pegi Chinese Golf. Silap!"

I thought, he must be some kind of royalty then.

Poncho: My God, he thinks he's a bloody Cuban ke? You know who that is?

Me: Donno. Raja mana? Satu driver, satu body guard.

Poncho: That's the xxxxx in Puncak Niaga.

Me: ???????? Who's is he trying to protect himself from? Got money falling out of his nose ke that people might want to kidnap him? Or is he such a bloody asshole that so many ppl want to shoot him? Millionaire Mat Salleh pun takde escort macam tu. Hidup segan mati tak mau. Kena hujan sikit pun tak boleh ke?

Fuck... apa ke jadah.. I don't care if I sound like Amir Hafizi or Wan Kamaruddin Edisi Siasat. I like them both. They should investigate this ugly Melayu and tell him tak payah nak mengada-ngada and buat malu bangsa berlagak bila bangsa sendiri tak kenal jasa dia, inikan lagi muka Jawa dia and muka Jawa and gemuk anak dia yang dah besar sah sah keje dia beli kereta sports and duduk main game kat rumah and tengok porn 24 jam and perabih bogheh negara.

I don't care, I know I'm judgmental, I can smell a filthy rat from afar. I hate this kind of Malays.

ANOTHER POST TO REMEMBER THE BIRTH OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD S.A.W.

The End of Her Purring.

2007-03-25T12:14:00.000+08:00

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO PRE PROPHET'S MUHAMMAD SAW BIRTHDAY ON 31ST MARCH

The house is never without cats since we moved in in 1982. We looked after the same feline generation since. To me, a house without somekind of domestic pet is lack of a certain kind of emotional ecosystem. Or, should I say, in Feng Shui's term - 'To Keep the Qi (energy) Circulating, Rare a Pet'. Homes will look happier don't you think?

Over time, we also picked up stray cats back home. Among hundreds of them, there are a few which really stole our hearts with their queer querks. The most adored was named, Joy. He was picked up infront of a mamak shop.

Everyone who walked out of the shop would pet him before they go off, can't stop smiling seeing it rolling and stretching alone, either trying to catch its own tail or scratching its body against the sandy roadside.

Maybe it is its carefreeness that reminds us how simple life should be and how much love can go around in utter fuzzy silence.

I brought him back and the whole house of family of four workaholics seemed extra brighter. We have an indoor playful spirit. He's like a little child who'd wait for a catching game and sleep together by wrapping itself on our neck with purr as a loud as a sewing machine.

When we have guests, he's actually one of our PR, going around letting others stroke its stomach and even climb and sniff their faces. Joy is 'functionally' really part of the family in the way he gave back, I remember, there was a period of time I got too busy with work, hardly saw him during the month and then had to be away for 3 days. It looked rather thin suddenly and less active. I thought, after my outstation trip, I was going to buy Joy some extra luxury food and toys he can damage to pieces.

I guess a month was too much for it... I don't know.. to wait for a catching game and have us sitting by his side while he gobble down his dinner. I came back and it just disappeared.

I spent a month driving around, walking around, combing all streets and drains and walked back crying like a little kid.

There's a vacuum suddenly.

I told myself, 'no more getting too close to cats'. It's just going to be about feeding and looking after, that's it!

Now that I lost Kathy, I finally understood what exactly made me so upset. It's not just literally that there's a death.

Kathy was born in a siblings of 4, her mother disappeared when all of them were big enough to look after themselves, but one was still very manja. It was weird but she didn't kick back when it was trying to snuggle on her stomach for a pacifier. Dah la jantan pulak tu, his name was Ginger.

All her siblings gave birth and sometimes just left theirs kittens starving. She would again feed them and groom one by one of them so dedicatedly. There are times food almost run out and only very little was on the plate. She would let all the kittens eat first, most of the time, she just gets the last little bits that spilled out on the floor.

I thought, she would only look after her blood line.

But no, dad brought back a dirty skinny kitten one day and she quickly groomed it and treated it like one of hers. Guess she's just a neat freak.

She has her way of keeping herself part of the family. In the evenings, she would make sure she's inside the house just listening to our conversation. As if.... that's her way of taking a break from babysitting.

She wouldn't ask for attention unlike Joy, but rather, she'd sit quietly in the middle of the crowd and keep her ears up.

I remember when the Wedding Planner was in the house showing all the samples to mother, she would have nose in them too. And when he handed stuff over to mother, she would raise her paws as if she wanted to see if the notes are valid...... things you even hardly see in human beings! Really kepo!

Yeah, she'd wait for me without fail every day and sat beside me while I wait for my date to arrive outside the gate.

Every morning when father goes out for Subuh prayers, she'll sneak in and wait for me outside the bathroom and sit in bed while I get ready to go to work. I was too used to it that I didn't noticed the fondness then.

She's a great mother and friend to all the little cats, I wonder if she was trying to mother me too.
It is when they are gone, I fell really hard thinking if I have done enough for them. If I have felt for them the way they felt for me so unconditionally. And the saddest thing is, the world is less of another love emitting creature which embraces selflessness without even receiving any preaching that they should do it.

Thank you Kathy for the experience you gave to everyone around me and .. the unconditional love. Syukur pada Tuhan for borrowing me such wonderful angels.

GOOD CATS DO GO TO HEAVEN

2007-03-21T10:02:00.000+08:00

We always had this theory that a cat will never die at the Master’s home but would just disappear before going to kitty heaven.

But that theory prove to be wrong with the case of Khaty (short for Khatijah). Khaty had been with Maine for the past five years. During her lifetime not only had she had given birth to numerous kittens but also selfishly treated all stray kittens that ended up at the doorstep like her own. This would include feeding and grooming each kitten self.

Her loyalty was uncomparable. When we were dating, everynight without fail, I would see her sitting on top of the car in the garage, just waiting for Maine. When we got married, we boarded her in our apartment to see if she could adapt to new surroundings. However, she got depressed after a month and we felt that she misses sitting in the porch at Maine’s family house, just contented looking at the birds and the cars go by.

With a heavy heart, we returned her back home and we could really see that she was happy to be back in her natural surroundings, mucking about in the grass and flirting her bushy tail with all the male cats that drop by trying to get lucky. We decided that she would be happier spending her twilight days in bliss.

Nevertheless, she would still, without fail greet us at the gate even before us getting out of the car, when we come visiting. I guess to some extent, she is happy to be back in her natural surroundings but at the same time misses Maine and me.

But when I stroked her, I would notice that she was slowly losing weight and that age was slowly catching up with her. Hence, it would just be matter of time.

Last weekend, she disappeared from home for three days – something she had not done before. After two days, we had resigned to the fact that maybe her time had really come and she had gone to kitty heaven.

It was on Sunday evening, that we got a call from Maine’s sister saying that Khaty was found under a tree near the house. When we rush there, we found her slumped, too weak to even utter her familiar meow. We bathed her and then only realized that she had lost so much weight when her fur was wet, showing her frail body. But we really thought that she would get better soon with some TLC again.

Maine’s mummy even put her cat basket in the house at her favourite place (under the dinning table). However, she just spent the next day refusing to eat but just looking at the morning sun and sleeping.

Yesterday evening on March 20th, while Maine’s mum was trying to feed her some milk with a syringe, Khaty died peacefully….at her favourite place, in the house and under the dinning table.

The house where she had lived for five years. So cats do come home to die with their Master.

Maine was too distressed to see her sister bury Khaty and when we reached there at dusk, all that was left was a fresh patch of soil in the garden. The windy night felt like it was also mourning.

We all then proceeded to Porto Romano, ironically to celebrate my belated birthday in the weekend but clearly, despite the good food and ambience, no one was actually in the mood to be merry.

It’s really ironic that sometimes we learn better things from animals than humans. Khaty had thaught us the true meaning of selflessness and loyalty which is increasingly becoming scarce in us especially in today’s rat race.

We’re gonna miss you Khaty and thank you for teaching us humans a valuable lesson.

One, Two Buckle My Shoes.

2007-03-11T18:59:00.000+08:00

I was teaching the kids about the differences among mammals, reptiles, amphibians and insects.

"Insects do not bleed like mammals and reptiles. Give me a few examples of insects."

"Teacher! Ants teacher!"

"Teacher! Bees!"

"Teacher! How about mosquitoes? Got blood what!"

_______________________

"In order to promote burning or to start fire, the environment you are in must contain oxygen. Without oxygen, you can't start the fire. There is no oxygen in the outerspace and many other planets, so you can't start any fire. But then again, there's no living creatures there that need to do so anyway."

"Teacher, how about the sun?"

_______________________

They are only in Year 3 so I can't start telling them other complicated knowledge.

_______________________

Do you know what's the meaning of 'evacuation'?

So I went on explaining the differences of evacuation for flood victims, fire victims and so on and went to the subject of emergency landing for airflights.

"I'm sure you have been on an airplane right?"

"No teacher."

.......................

"Thamu, what does your parents do?"

"Father, lorry driver. Mmmmmother cook at home."

"Kanesh and Thievi?"

"Father, toll. Mother kedai runcit."

"Ali? How about your parents?"

"Father with TNB, mother housewife."

...... I was so humbled, yet their parents pay the tuition centre RM70 per month just on Public Speaking and another RM90 per month for 3 other subjects.

so damn pressured to make sure they can finally speak simple conversational English in 4 months' time. These are Form 1 students who still can't differentiate singular verbs against plural.

Owwhh.... 40-50 students in a govt school classroom just cannot work!

ABM Part 2?

2007-03-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

Saya sudah lama berkarya.

... dan saya dah bertahun-tahun naik turun mahkamah pasal kes 'intellectual property' ni, sampai duit saya semua habis, sampai tinggal sehelai sepinggang.

... sampai satu hari saya sedar 'intellectual property' ni sebenarnya tak membawa apa-apa nilai langsung.

... saya cuma nak melukis kartun dan menulis novel, sebab itu anugerah yang Tuhan bagi pada saya.

... siapa nak ambik karya saya, AMBIKLAH! ASALKAN IA SAMPAI KEPADA MASYARAKAT.. saya dah cukup bersyukur.

- Kartunis & Karyawan Ujang 3hb Mac, 2007

__________________________________________________
Whether Jibam The Movie will make it or not is clear to me to be an unimportant issue. I shall close my chapter on him now.

Memang Budak Minang

2007-03-07T16:19:00.001+08:00

KCESB & VADs,

Thank you for your inputs and thoughts.. yes we are all on the same train wanting to give Ujang the due recognition that he deserves. I'm sure we all wholeheartedly agree that there has been no cartoonist before that has touched our hearts like Ujang.

Although Ujang still seems perplexed as to what the whole fuss is all about, Ujang does not realise that he has touched the hearts of many of his readers worldwide. Getting mails from Malaysian as far as Minnesota for example shows how far his comics and writings are missed.

Contrary to public perception, Me and Maine are not exactly Ujang’s old time friends. We only met him the first time at Pesta Buku Malaysia in April 2006 and that was when the ball started rolling.

But vividly I remember the green centrefold pullout from Ujang’s Aku Budak Minang’s compilation published in 1987. That was the only book that I bought at Pesta Buku Malaysia 1987 with the limited money that I had as a form 3 student. The poster was proudly stuck in my wardrobe and I use to look at it everyday when I combed my hair before going to school.

So nineteen years later, after buying CESB’s hardcopy reprint of Aku Budak Minang which I bought at the Pesta Buku Malaysia 2006 was indeed, a surreal case of Déjà vu.

Ujang needs to know that he still has a lot of fans from the days of yesteryears and that his work has transcended all class barriers. There are many 30 something professionals who, though are western educated, still have a soft spot for his works as we grew up with it.

It is therefore without a doubt that Ujang’s comeback is long anticipated and he is one Anak Bangsa whom we can truly be proud of sans all the hypocrisy, shallowness and hype of others who we are beginning to detest.

He is truly a Budak Minang.

Ponchomaine

JIBAM THE MOVIE- Issues and Concerns

2007-03-05T14:58:00.000+08:00

We were invited for the JIBAM press conference last Friday in Petaling Jaya. Thank you Ujang for the invitation. These are my observation and concerns.

1. JIBAM is Malay-centric.

It does not appeal to the non-Malay segment and to some extent to the Urban Malays as well. Demographics would dicate that the malay segment would be most concentrated in the East Coast, South and Northern peninsula.

Take for example, the East Coast. In the event that JIBAM is to be effectively marketed there, the only form of viewing would be at the Cinemas. The question is: If there is a limited access to Cinemas in the East Coast, how effective would be the market penetration?

My concern is that it would be very unfortunate in the event that JIBAM does make the headlines, the only people who will be laughing all the way to the bank would be the VCD pirates. With demand, comes supply and any self-disrespecting VCD pirate would only be too happy to satiate the demand of these viewers. After all, what choice would the viewers have? Either to travel to travel xx kilometers just to watch a movie and incur a lot of cost (bear in mind that the folks in these area do not have the disposable income like those in the Klang Valley) or just pay RM8/10 dollars for a pirated VCD to watch it at home with the whole family.

Cost savings? It doesn’t need a genius to figure that one out.

The only other option that I can think of is to flood the market with original VCDs in that area. In this event, the distribution needs to be worked out well with the video distributors like Speedy, EZY video and the likes (that is if they have any or sufficient branches there in the first place).

2. The Targeted Market Segment

Many of the original readers of his works like Aku Budak Minang, Aca, Intelligent Blues Clubs are now within the late 20s to mid 30s group like myself. We grew up with his works and it reminds us of our childhood. The mid 20s group and below have not heard of Ujang and it is difficult for them to accept something which they cannot relate to.

As such, in the bigger scheme of things, this targeted market segment i.e. predominantly Malay late 20s to mid 30s group consist of those coming from low class to the middle upper class of the society. Lets look at them in turn.

In the event of those that fall within the low to the middle class level which the wife children in tow, paying RM50++ for at least 3 tickets and a night out (with the assumption of the missus and kid coming along) just for old time sake would nevertheless be a burden to them. I don’t see any other solution at the moment than a win-win situation between the VCD pirate and home entertainment for the whole family at just RM8 a pop like the argument above.

Now we come to the upper middle class Malay group. All of them are now urban bi-lingual professionals mostly living in Klang Valley. To these discerning group, with a life exposed to other cultures and other forms of art, comes high expectations. With, the movie in itself must have a good script and direction. It would follow that the last thing they would like is to see their intelligence being insulted especially when they expect that the movie would be at par or better with the original written works of Ujang. In this case, we would rather keep the fond memories of JIBAM off screen.

JIBAM is in itself a thinking novel and due respect and credit must be given to Ujang and this is the challenge of the producer not to taint it with the same brush like other brainless Malay movies like Cicakman for instance.

Therefore, this is the challenge to the Producer of JIBAM the movie. In the Q&A at the Media conference, we did not get a satisfactory answer from them but just a non-committal answer of ‘Oh, it’s a secret as if we disclose our A&P strategy now, our competitors would follow suit’. But, what does your competitors have anything to do with it?.

So the question is: What exactly is your targeted market segment and what is your strategy?

It would be a shame to see JIBAM suffer the same fate as other forgettable movies like Paloh, Embun, Mat Som and all the rest just because of bad and hasty planning.

I hope that I am wrong in December 2007.

The Ponchoman

The Planning of Jibam The Movie

2007-02-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

Part 2

"Datang jumpa aku dekat Gazebo malam ni. Jumpa producer yang nak buat wayang dengan cerita aku. Ahmad Fauzi pun ada, yang buat wayang Kolej 56 tu" reads the SMS from.

I was at that time.... dead tired after a long day running last minute errands to tighten my upcoming wedding day and was having a high fever. I turned to Poncho and told him I can't push myself anymore, the clock showed it was 10ish at night.

We haven't reached home since 7am! After a short yawning dinner at Bangsar Village and a long pause in the car, I told Poncho, 'if we don't go for this one, it's going to disappoint him.............. and us.'

Ahmad Fauzi?.... Hmmm.... Camana pulak dia minat cerita Jibam? Kolej 56, Oh Zeti, totally different wavelength... hmmmm?.

Reached there.

Saw an elderly man from afar, you can tell from the first glance that he's in the media circle. Has a pair of eyes that looks they can last nights without sleep, tired but continuously batting-in ideas.

Ahmad Fauzi was clad in a thick black velvet blazer accompanied by his new wife who's beaming with pride for the newly found project.

Ujang duduk tersengih macam biasa.

The crowd was obviously puzzled to see us.

"Aku nak diaorang tulis pasal wayang ni dalam blog diaorang."

We introduced ourselves to everyone. The elderly man offered his biz card. 'Ruslie Sophian - Jaja Production Executive Producer'.

We told them the truth, that we are actually no one, just.... a fan and a friend of Ujang.

They said it is ok.

Ujang: Eman Manan, Khatijah Tan fuih ramai lagi nanti berlakon cerita niiii.

I turned to Ruslie and Fauzi and could not hold my curiosity anymore.

Me: Siapa punya idea sebenarnya...

Ruslie: I tried seeing a few people and just pass them the book. You can just finish it in maximum two days... kan? Once you read it, you can't stop. Baca Alfred Hitchcock pun tak saspen macam tu sekali. It was two years ago I started thinking about who should direct it.

Poncho smiled at me. Guess we knew who's the one who ignited everything.

I felt relieved, my flu terus sembuh. Ujang duk sebok lukis katak.

Ruslie: You know Ahmad Fauzi's background. He won't want to get into this if he doesn't believe in it. He can't lose out again. After he read the book, he said to me... Ruslie... this is going to be the Harry Potter of Malaysia.

Kitaorang cuma kena tukar the tempat scene dia je. Kitaorang nak shoot dekat Pasir Panjang, Trengganu. Tempat tu betul-betul best kept secret, untouched, beauuuuutiful yang kita boleh promote macam Lord of Ring buat untuk New Zealand.

We have met the Trengganu people, they are willing to give us support. Next year Visit Trengganu year pulak tu.

Dalam menangis, ada ketawa, dalam marah ada sayang, dalam kegelapan tu tetap nampak harapan. Jibam is that deep. - Ruslie Sophian.

Poncho had an idea on how the teaser poster should be. Fauzi and Ujang seemed to like it very much.

But, in my head, I was thinking:

* Jibam IS a gripping novel, but they don't sell it in MPH, Times Bookstore, Borders, Popular.
* Creative Enterprise's produce never get it to the urban book counters, where are they?
* How many people knows Ujang and still appreciate his work?
* Kalau nak buat wayang pasal Trengganu, kat Trengganu takde panggung wayang.
* Is Creative Enterprise going to relaunch Jibam novel or do a co-promo with the movie?
* This movie will touch the viewers outside the urban areas too, but the cinemas now are concentrated in big cities.
* Can they capture the urban and non Malay viewers and make it another Cicakman breakthrough?
* Who on earth could play the role of Jibam, the Down Syndrome kid flawlessly?
* Could all this make things work the other way round? Jibam The Movie promotes Ujang and his novels?

The Rise of the Malaysia's Favourite Cartoonist in the 80's.

2007-02-19T12:58:00.000+08:00

Part 1

At first I doubted the sincerity of the people he said wanted to put his first literature on screenplay. I was just worried, what if they'd play him out again. He has lost his rights for his own Intellectual Property; his whole lifestory is now being told for the profits of his previous publisher, greedy greedy man. They have gotten another cartoonist to continue the presence of the characters in their comic.

He went into recluse for years because of it, perhaps to look for something that could still belong to him.

"Aku tak mau kau kena tipu lagi Ujang. Cari orang yang kita boleh percaya, suruh dia tengok kan contract. Kau kena tahu terang-terang macamana diaorang nak bayar royalti. Kalau kau boleh saman orang, kau dah dapat royalti kartun engkau dah berapa banyak dah sekarang ni, kau tau tak?"

"Kali ni aku berani mati, ini aje yang aku ada....aku serah aje kat Tuhan. "

He's the only one left, who could illustrate brutal honest lifestory that's so rich in heritage and literature values. People say, cartoonists in our country are injurious for the mind.

"Aku baru ni buat research pasal adat. Sampai kat Padang (Indonesia) aku pegi. Aku cuma nak tau mana datangnya adat macam Pepatih dengan Temenggung ni. Dari pemerintah ke, apa ke, untuk apa. Aku dapat jawapannya."

DATANGNYA ADAT DARIPADA BUDI
SEBAB BILA BERBUDI MENCERMINKAN KITA BERAKHLAK
DARI MANA DATANGNYA AKHLAK KALAU IA BUKAN TUNTUTAN AGAMA
JADI ADAT SEBENARNYA DIKAITKAN DENGAN SISTEM YANG BERSENDIKAN KITAB ALLAH. - Ujang

Orang kan selalu pelik dengan peribahasa, "Biar mati anak, jangan mati adat." Kenapa orang sanggup anak dia mati tapi adat mesti dijunjung. Kat situlah logik dia. Peribahasa tu asalnya dari Negeri Sembilan, so only they knew best.

Adat dan Agama complements each other.

So.... you are trying to say, adat is created as a subtle infusion of Quran teachings in our daily life lah?

A..aaa, yes!

During the years trying to put the pieces back together, he operates from a small corner for painters in Central Market and try to make money out of caricature drawings. Surprisingly there's an improvement, his back issues has been republished and he's free to draw again in the comics.

I just don't want him to fall again.

"Nanti tak lama lagi buku Adat Merentas Zaman siap, full sastera pasal adat oghang Nogoghi."

WOW!

What Makes You Glow?

2007-02-12T15:15:00.000+08:00

R to L: Saiful Nang and Mukhriz
Picture above: Azwar Nik Yusoff

A glimpse of him through the glass door of his 3rd floor premise in Bandar Kinrara was enough to make you feel his contageous chirpy persona.

He seemed indulged in his phone conversation. Poncho glared at my drool and I quickly snaped out of my awe.

Too bad, I'm married and he gave us an invitation card to his wedding when we dropped by. In fact, he's already married last Saturday.

Do you remember when we were in primary school, when the teacher asked us, 'What's your ambition?' Lemme guess, the guys' answers were to be a doctor, engineer, architect, pilot, accountant --all those mind set by mummy and daddy. For the girls, our naive answers were to be a stewardess, model, doctor, lawyer, accountant. Macam tak ada jawatan lain ke dalam dunia ni? I wonder what Thomas Edison, Leonardo da Vinci, Alexandar Graham Bell's parents told them to become.

The above is just a reflection. Back to my story, we were in his gallery to collect a few of our solemnisation photos in CD format. He shared his new business idea, Poncho was deeply captured. I heard the first few sentences and continued to do back end processing. What you read in his fotopage is half the noise you get from him --but double the persona.

He was surely as speedy as a Road Runner snapping pictures. As if, actions comes before angles. I observed that through my nikah and forgotten to pretend looking virginal and demure. But when he speaks, each sentence seemed calculated, thought and screened before they're uttered, and his eyes keep sparkling and his smile would end every meaning.

I envy him and I adore his talent.

"Lebih baik kita miskin tapi buat apa yang kita suka, daripada kita miskin lepas tu kita tak suka apa yang kita kena buat.”
– Saiful Nang, President CandidSyndrome

Who'd reckon, putting pieces back together again after two business failures is not an easy feat. He borrowed a friend's camera and paid about RM400 on some equipment to offer a few friends on wedding photography with a new breath; journalist photography. That's something totally extraordinary for our culture both in the sense of the dosh we have to pay and the format of how pictures are taken.

I guess, his talent came in quite timely with the booming of free internet facilities such as digital photo portals and so on. 'T makes the surfers' desire to be infront of his camera ever more increasing and then also, it's like an epidemic. In two years, the guy and team already get to plot on the world map and the dots can actually make an obvious pattern!

"Sebenarnya minat saya yang pertama is ‘travelling’, yang kedua fotografi. Alhamdulillah, sekarang ni hobi kedua yang ‘finance’ hobi pertama saya!”

He now owns his own company, just reached his first million, finally re breed a new photography team (they're all just as talented!) and is still low down to earth.

“Kami adik-beradik datang dari Felda Triang, Pahang. Bapak kitaorang masa kitaorang kecik-kecik dulu tak pernah halang apa yang kitaorang minat nak buat. Kalau kitaorang conteng dinding, dia tak marah pun. Dia cat balik, lepas tu suruh kitaorang conteng dinding lain pulak sementara tunggu cat yang ni kering. I'm not the one with the real photography qualification. Adi Nang yang ada qualification tu. I grad dengan Degree in Film & Animation. My adik, Razi Nang pun tengah study fotografi dekat UiTM."

Maybe it's me who's with the pain. I wish I never thought I wanted to become one of the geeky norms. I wish my art pieces weren't taken away from me when I was a kid. I wish my job now makes me glow just like what it did to him, his brothers and all his crew members.

We're both blessed we're in the right generation and at the right time of our life to decide on investing on our still memories this way. Being able to have those shots is such a dream come true.

Picture above: Udey Ismail of CandidSyndrome

Selamat Pengantin Baru kembali Saiful Nang dan Dr. Intan.

Thank you Saiful Nang, Adi Nang, Mukhriz and Udey Ismail for making our wedding a beautiful memory.

A Brand New Life.

2007-01-30T17:08:00.000+08:00

That's the strangest thing.... I insist that blogging has got nothing to do with filling up a certain vacuum in my life. It is all about other people, not me.

There's waking up in the morning and attend the husband and the cat. Then, there's coming back and long chats with him.. dinner, bed, chats, read, xxx, sleep. Weekends.... so many people to attend to.. now that we share two families. It's nice to have so many nephews and nieces and you're suddenly on so many kinds of invitations. I'm trying to catch up.... I wish I've got 36 hours in a day. But I've received so much from God I don't know where to begin my kesyukuran.

There's so many stories in the back log which I want to share with the silent cyberspace.... they're still there waiting to be refined, waiting to be perfectly said. I am not willing to let go of this..... it is the window I met the things which would've been impossible.

I met so many interesting people in the process of my wedding preparation.

So, maybe there'll be some different stories to tell from now on along with my old style of junks.

6th January 2007

2007-01-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

Konon-kononnya nak buat style Erra Fazira, choosing catchy easy dates like 7/7/2007, but... neaaaahh.

I don't have enough time to share the story, but enough to share one picture which our photographer has published today.

Bone of My Bone, Flesh of My Flesh

2007-01-10T15:31:00.000+08:00

I received this forwarded email in year 2001 from a friend named Dena.
I imagined having to be able to use it one day to bring others through my learning process and life's progress.

I finally have a reason to publish it here.

Bone of My Bone, Flesh of My Flesh
Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse.
Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind
of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate,
honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm,
intelligent, funny, attentive, compassionate and truthful spouse.
I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about.
As time went by, I added the required list of my wanted spouse.

One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart:
"I cannot give you what you want."
I asked, "Why God?"
God said, "Because I am fair.”
God is the truth and all I do are true and right."
I asked, "God, I don't understand why I cannot have what
I asked from you?"

God answered, " I will explain.”
It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand
because I cannot give something that is not your ownself.
It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you
if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone
generous but sometimes you can be cruel; or someone forgiving,
however, you still hide revenge; someone sensitive, however,
you are very insensitive..."

He then said to me: "It is better for Me to give you someone
who I know could grow to have all the qualities you are searching
rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already
have the qualities you want. Your spouse would be bone from your bone
and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in him/her and
both of you will be one.

Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long span education.
It is where you and your partner make adjustments and aim not
merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and
to make a solid teamwork. I do not give you a perfect partner,
because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom
you would grow together."

... more to come.

Musseling My Points.

2006-12-13T22:19:00.000+08:00

"Sayang, can you explain the taste of mussels to me."

"It tastes really good."

"Okaylah, but explain in what way is it good. Is it meaty, is it in its sweetness, what, which part of it, how? I can say the flower crab tastes good coz some part of it is elastic yet sweet, some part of it that is soft and creamy, and it's got this clean fulfilling taste other seafood doesn't. What the hell is so good about mussels?"

"To me all seafood tastes good. It's sweet la I guess."

....

To me mussels is the most phoney element in meals. Unlike the clam, no one would say, "I love to eat mussels" especially prepared boiled just by itself. It will taste good only with accompaniments like cheese cream, olive oil and spring onion or chopped chillies and so on. The look of it, big shelled and blue in colour or algae green makes it able to make Vongole soup look expensive and wholesome eventhough you get only ONE mussel in there.

It boggles my mind even more when people put a laddle full of chilli de-shelled mussels in their plate of rice when they don't even remember the taste of it after.

So yeah... what's the big deal with mussels? I'm just wondering, whyyyyyyyy do people like eating it? Because of its larger than life look that makes it seem the best right before the luzurious oyster?

******

Oh, oh, oh, if you ask me what's so good about clams (kerang), truthfully yes it does have a certain kind of sweetness that comes out of its pouch. But what many don't realise is the subconscious fulfilment you get out of eating it. Clams is high in zinc, just like Ribena, do you realise that you get a certain kind of good mood and at ease after having them?

For adults as we get older the body tends to lose a lot of zinc and make less of it especially among women as we lose it more during menses. Enough Zinc helps in stabilising blood pressure thus enhances alertness. THAT is how clams is tasty!

How to Make 'Petis Udang'.

2006-11-26T09:25:00.000+08:00

KNOW THIS FIRST OKAY.Prawn Paste = Petis Udang (made from good quality big sized prawn headshells)
Shrimp Paste = Belachan (made from small sized prawns).

It's the black paste that they put in Chinese Fruit Rojak and makes the delicacy so tasty, it's the watered down black sauce they put in Penang Assam Laksa to bring out the aroma, they also serve it in Fried Tofu stuffed with finelly sliced cucumber and bean sprouts.

In Malay they call it Petis Udang, sometimes they call it Otak Udang and the common explanation for it is that they use a lot of Otak Udang (the orange - green part of the prawn head which commonly assumed as the brain) to make it.

My skin started crawling.....

so when we eat one plate of Fruit Rojak,or Sotong Kangkung do we have the brains of 100 prawns in our system?

I often googled for information on how to make it. Unfortunately, it is never documented in the cyberworld in Bahasa Malaysia.

To my surprise, it is available only in Bahasa Indonesia. It even explains the nutritional content of Petis Udang (Sambal Rojak) and this I have to share with you in Bahasa Malaysia!

It is directly translated from the link below:

CARA PEMBUATAN PETIS UDANG/SAMBAL ROJAK.

Pembuatan petis merupakan serangkaian kegiatan yang meliputi penyiapan seperti berikut:
a. bahan baku (bawang putih, cabai, merica, gula pasir, tepung beras/tepung tapioka/kanji/tepung arang kayu, garam dapur, dan air.)

b. perebusan

c. pengentalan

1. Mula-mula kepala udang harus dicuci bersih kerana merupakan sumber bakteria dan terdapatnya sistem pencernaan di kepala.

So you see, it's not true at all that the otak is used!!!! Buat penat aku tak makan rojak for a month! Now see where they get the prawn taste from....

2. Setelah kepala udang dicuci, air dituang dengan perbandingan tertentu. Kemudian dimasak atau direbus, biasanya selama 3 sampai 6 jam. Selanjutnya dilakukan pemerasan dan ampasnya dibuang. Perebusan ini dilakukan untuk mengambil sari dari kepala udang tersebut. Pembuatan petis juga dapat dilakukan dari ekstrak ikan atau udang kering.

3. Sari udang atau ikan tersebut dimasukkan ke dalam belanga kemudian dimasak, sambil diaduk-aduk sampai agak kental. Setelah itu dilakukan penambahan gula, sedikit garam, bawang putih dan cabai. Dari sekitar 10 kg kepala dan kulit udang, diperlukan 0,2 kg gula dan 10 liter air. Setelah direbus selama kira-kira 3 jam akan diperoleh 0,5 kg petis.

4. Selain gula, di beberapa daerah juga ada yang menambahkan tepung tapioka dan tepung arang kayu atau arang jerami dalam pembuatan petis. Arang ini berguna untuk mencegah timbulnya bau tengik pada petis.

5. Perebusan dilakukan sampai adonan mengental (turn pasty).

And guess what, alat yang terpenting untuk pembuatan sambal rojak adalah belanga, iaitu periuk bermulut lebar yang terbuat dari tanah liat (claypot). Ini kerana ia memiliki sifat pengantar panas yang rendah dan porous (berliang). Dalam pembuatan petis diperlukan pemanasan rendah dalam waktu cukup lama, sehingga secara perlahan akan dihasilkan adunan petis yang kental dan elastik.

Dengan menggunakan belanga, pemanasan rendah dapat terjadi secara menyeluruh. Adanya pori-pori pada seluruh dinding belanga menyebabkan penguapan tidak hanya terjadi pada permukaan adunan, namun menyeluruh pada semua bahagian adunan yang melekat pada dinding belanga. Apabila digunakann periuk alumunium, akan terdapat banyak bahagian yang hangus dan petis yang dihasilkan menjadi kasar dan berair. Hal ini disebabkan alumunium memiliki sifat pengantar panas yang baik, tetapi tidak porous.

Marmite/Bovril is similar to this but using bovine (meat). Ianya dipanggil petis daging. Oohhhhhh, try baking flower crab smothered with Marmite... tasty saltiness!!!

Reference: Prof. DR. Made Astawan, Dosen di Departemen Teknologi Pangan dan Gizi IPB

Malaysia Bodoh? Ooohh Noowhhh...

2006-11-17T10:04:00.000+08:00

My current boss shared her heart content recently. She's the restless kind that wakes up at 4am every morning for her morning brisk walk, she's a pious Christian who's always busy with missionary work, a mother of two and looks 10 years younger than her age. It's just been a year being with us and she's in revelation that what she really wants to do is to be some sort of a psychiatrist for the young, the problem is she tought... she doesn't have a degree in Psychology. I saw that talent in her, she came into this company while we're so troubled and had lent her hands to make it a very much lighter place to be in.

I told her, if you want to be it, do it NOW. I went home, thought of hopefully a catchy company name, wrote out a simple PR plan to build its presence and passed it to her. I told her, the society is suffering of new generations that's trying too hard to embrace fashion, music, good looks, expensive machines, dangerous activities and then get completely all lost. If you are willing to do it for free for a couple of years, you will go far as long as your intention is sincere and you want to keep your perseverance till the day you can start charging your services.

Spent some hours with my sister's friend last Sunday, he's a dynamic young Malay guy who speaks fluent French, an avid rugby player and a great achiever at work. He's one of the good examples of how only a small fraction of young men start themselves out. He invested his money on the right things, a car, a small place to stay and slowly building his own business through his expertise in IT and telecommunications knowledge. His way of making his deeds is by eehhmmm.... talking 'night workers' out of their sleazy jobs. A few lucky ones even get 'start-up sponsor' while they build a new life.

"But my biggest dream is what tau? I nak mintak jadi tutor dengan MMU while I do my PhD or IR. You know why? The government still don't know what they are buying and spending money on. Tu lah selalu duit spend sia-sia. I know working with them gaji tak banyak, while I teach kat MMU hopefully I can teach future generations 'how to buy' and what's the meaning of integrity. And when I get to work with the government, I'll kick all the corrupted asses who's trying to be funny with the govt when they're trying to sell things that we don't need."

How many of us are thinking of helping out the society in this situation of us slowly being branded Malaysia Bodoh?

Michael Backman
The Age

MALAYSIA'S been at it again, arguing about what proportion of the economy each of its two main races — the Malays and the Chinese — owns. It's an argument that's been running for 40 years. That wealth and race are not synonymous is important for national cohesion, but really it's time Malaysia grew up.

It's a tough world out there and there can be little sympathy for a country that prefers to argue about how to divide wealth rather than get on with the job of creating it.

The long-held aim is for 30 per cent of corporate equity to be in Malay hands, but the figure that the Government uses to justify handing over huge swathes of public companies to Malays but not to other races is absurd. It bases its figure on equity valued, not at market value, but at par value.

Many shares have a par value of say $1 but a market value of $12. And so the Government figure (18.9 per cent is the most recent figure) is a gross underestimate. Last month a paper by a researcher at a local think-tank came up with a figure of 45 per cent based on actual stock prices. All hell broke loose. The paper was withdrawn and the researcher resigned in protest. Part of the problem is that he is Chinese.

" Malaysia boleh!" is Malaysia 's national catch cry. It translates to " Malaysia can!" and Malaysia certainly can. Few countries are as good at wasting money. It is richly endowed with natural resources and the national obsession seems to be to extract these, sell them off and then collectively spray the proceeds up against the wall.
This all happens in the context of Malaysia 's grossly inflated sense of its place in the world.

Most Malaysians are convinced that the eyes of the world are on their country and that their leaders are ! world figures. This is thanks to Malaysia 's tame media and the bravado of former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad. The truth is, few people on the streets of London or New York could point to Malaysia on a map much less name its prime minister or capital city.

As if to make this point, a recent episode of The Simpsons features a newsreader trying to announce that a tidal wave had hit some place called Kuala Lumpur . He couldn't pronounce the city's name and so made up one, as if no-one cared anyway. But the joke was on the script w! riters — Kuala Lumpur is inland.

Petronas, the national oil company is well run, particularly when compared to the disaster that passes for a national oil company in neighbouring Indonesia . But in some respects, this is Malaysia 's problem. The very success of Petronas means that it is used to underwrite all manner of excess.

The KLCC development in central Kuala Lumpur is an example. It includes the Twin Towers , the tallest buildings in the world when they were built, which was their point.

It certainly wasn't that there was an office shortage in Kuala Lumpur — there wasn't.

Malaysians are very proud of these towers. Goodness knows why. They had little to do with them. The money for them came out of the ground and the engineering was contracted out to South Korean companies.

They don't even run the shopping centre that's beneath them. That's handled by Australia 's Westfield .

Next year, a Malaysian astronaut will go into space aboard! a Russian rocket — the first Malay in space. And the cost? $RM95 million ($A34.3 million), to be footed by Malaysian taxpayers. The Science and Technology Minister has said that a moon landing in 2020 is the next target, aboard a US flight. There's no indication of what the Americans will charge for this, assuming there's even a chance that they will consider it. But what is Malaysia getting by using the space programs of others as a taxi service? There are no obvious technical benefits, but no doubt Malaysians will be told once again, that they are "boleh". The trouble is, they're not. It's not their space program.

Back in July, the Government announced that it would spend $RM490 million on a sports complex near the London Olympics site so that Malaysian athletes can train there and "get used to cold weather".

But the summer Olympics are held in the summer.

So what is the complex's real purpose? The dozens of goodwill missions by ministers and bureaucrats to London to check on the centre's construction and then on the athletes while they train might provide a clue.

Bank bale outs, a formula one racing track, an entire new capital city — Petronas has paid for them all. It's been an orgy of nonsense that Malaysia can ill afford.

Why? Because Malaysia 's oil will run out in about 19 years. As it is, Malaysia will become a net oil importer in 2011 — that's just five years away.

So it's in this context that the latest debate about race and wealth is so sad.

It is time to move on, time to prepare the economy for life after oil. But, like Nero fiddling while Rome burned, the Malaysian Government is more interested in stunts like sending a Malaysian into space when Malaysia's inadequate schools could have done with the cash, and arguing about wealth distribution using transparently ridiculous statistics.

That's not Malaysia "boleh", that's Malaysia "bodoh" (stupid).

Prelude to a new dimension.

2006-11-14T16:13:00.000+08:00

I have been going through quite an interesting journey the past one year.

In fact, ever since this blog started, life in reality seemed one dimensional and this embossed it into three.

Ended a decade long relationship. At the same time witnessing two other good friends ending theirs'. One has found his other half, another found herself!

Decided to go back to playgirl mode, tak sampai one month the movement of every living things around me suddenly placed me infront of someone whom if you know my lifestyle would be completely impossible to cross each other's path.

The workplace lost the boss everyone could ever dream of and received the lady boss from hell of the highest level. If the word 'Delusional of Grandeur' exists in the dicky, her face should be right by its side. She's insecure, has zero people's skills, made enemies along her vocations in the IT line, and get this, at the age of 52 she doesn't know how to operate the PC, whatnot the notebook, how did she survive before???? Well that surely reflects the real level of this con artist. So 9 staff made their way out, lost almost a million dollar project coz ppl hate her, I received a warning note for should I say 'being too verbally honest'. It's nice to hit on her very dark weaknesses, but before I make my exit from the IT world, this is such an interesting phase to observe. Loved to see how a few of them left and get to give her a nice swingin backhand. NOBODY, I repeat, NOBODY, shall mistreat me around here.

Went Malaysia trotting. Sabah, Taiping, Lumut, Kelantan, Melaka, Penang - Singapore, Phuket all in a span of 10 months with Poncho by my side.

Sold my rock climbing harness away.... HuuuhUuuuuu!!! Doesn't mean I'm gonna quit for good, just that, my face won't be seen at the gym every other week now.

Finally put together a spanking impressive(not really) resume... after 9 years, I'm praying so hard to be able to get off IT. Gosh, this place can just kill all my restless cells. There is just one job out there that'd make me feel spiritually spent, berkat is a better way to say it, but it will not be an easy feat. Dunno.... let's see how it goes.

Finally, I finally have all the courage for the family institution. It took me a few relationships, true hardships while growing up, the books I read during my childhood, a great view about human characteristics while working in predominantly Chinese and 80% male environment, a sister to a sister who had never experienced what it is like to grow up with a father, a daughter who saw her mother raised two children by working butt out from 7am to 9pm all her life til she's 56 - to know there is no need to for self redemption, just go ahead and embrace my moment.

Leaving a decade long relationship had me missing his mother so very much, there are times I really broke down missing the hours of conversations and laughter we used to have in the kitchen, I don't remember being able to sit down and have a intellectual sessions with a 50 year old lady often in my life. I know what it's like now to go through a divorce, you don't just lose someone you're so used to but also the friendships that you made in his family. I learnt that in-laws are still in-laws after the divorce (for the Muslims) as this will protect the silaturrahim, but it doesn't work for breakups that's for sure.

The preparation of my wedding went really speedy fast. It seem to jive with mom's timing, it gave her a huge project right after her retirement. I swear she could put together the most comprehensive wedding directory in the whole KL by now.

Bukan Salah Ibu Mengandung?

2006-11-03T16:54:00.000+08:00

I remember this story about the comparison between a 100m sprinter and a cross country runner who’re from the same country. In order to win more medals someone pondered the idea of making either one of the runners to also participate in the other. Is this workable? We all knew the answer to that.

The bickering against Tun and Pak Lah continues. I’m the blindest when it comes to local political issues although coming from a 100% Kelantan family, I should really have my butt against Tun by now although we don’t condone PAS either.

By repeating what me, style typical pompuan, a poor in vocab for politics and an idiot in local financial landscape heard from others:

PAK LAH’S BAD
1. The total investments by foreign countries (FDI: Foreign Direct Investors) in Malaysia has dropped by 4 billion since Pak Lah’s reign. A lot of plants here to moved to either China and surprisingly to Indonesia as they have started to design better policies. The news regarding this was apparently sebesar duit lima puluh sen in the papers.

2. After soooo many years being a black haired bimbo, barulah I tahu Khairi don’t even hold any position in the cabinet. My jaw dropped. So I learnt what Tun meant by 4th floor in Jabatan Perdana Menteri -- Khairi and his pose who’s hired as PM’s think-tankers which results to selling of Agusta at RM1 and him becoming a millionaire. Pak Lah gave Khairy one too many ways.

Yes, I heard about how his mother find her ways through making sure her son marries ‘someone’s’ daughter. Damn, the family’s such a schemer.

3. Pak Lah’s obliging characteristics and his infamous ‘I got work to do’, ‘I am angry’, ‘I am sad’, ‘I am not losing my focus’ phrase.
4. Pak Lah’s style is slow, too agricultural, too Malay centric.

Someone said, for a successfully run country, the new breed of PMs should have a Doctorate in Economics or Finance. He cannot la say, ‘Saya sedih’ kinda talk.

TUN’S BAD
1. Everything in the past which is all balanced by the tangible twin towers, Putrajaya, investors in droves.
2. Tendencies to remove people whom he himself hand picked.
3. Tendencies to get overemotional like crying, cynical tantrums etc.
4. He did provide so many projects to his cronies.
5. Entah hapa hapa lagi la banyak sangat yang kita tak nampak.

So my point about the 100m sprinter and the cross country runner is hopefully relevant. Yet this has nothing to do with natural or acquired talent, characteristics are fixed, what more if you are above 40.

Tun can't get any more polite (all he needs to say is "Get rid of Khairy" but he went on membebel), Pak Lah can't suddenly change into an eloquent economist. That's just the way they are. If we can't adapt to change, we don't just vote someone out, we still need to look after ourselves rather than bickering about how the government must jaga us. Setiap ketua mesti memerintah mengikut citarasa dan budi bicaranya, kan?

I have this question to Tun, why did he choose Pak Lah and not his bestfriend Najib. A person of his stature with assumingly great judgments for politics, for foreign politicians and economists behaviour eih… but lambasting his successor the second time after Anwar.

I have this question to readers, if it is not Pak Lah, who in the entire politics scene is best to take up the job? And why?

I have this question to Pak Lah, he has lost his wife and mother. He is no doubt a pious Muslim and very down to earth. His daughter is the only feminine figure left. Am I right to conclude that displeasing Khairy means displeasing her? Because if we are so not happy, then we should be busy making sure our (Malay) candidate is popular.

To get down to the root, Khairy is the main cause of pain. We can see it in Tun’s trembling voice and hiding eyes when he mentions ‘4th floor’ as that’s where he works. So…. I impose this bold question, do you think… if Khairy were to be completely eliminated from the scene everyone’s happier, there'll be no problem, that is all Tun wants??? But can he see Pak Lah’s predicament with only a few figures left in his life?

The only way for a super thick skin figure like Khairy to go down is by waiting for Pak Lah to go down. Really? If Tun was capable for Anwar-gate, I’m sure this is much easier to handle.

My question to Nouri… throughout the whole squandrel, you were never seen or heard protecting your dad neither are you seen lovingly holding your husband’s arms.

Can’t you see your father’s predicament in protecting his ties with you? Am I naïve or are you just happy nestling yourself between the two as if nothing happens and your mom is not crying in her after life?

My question to Khairy’s mother….”Makcik didik anak makcik untuk sampai ke mana?”

Sex Outside the City - Part 2

2006-10-12T09:09:00.000+08:00

May Lin: i only took one glance and minded my own business after that
May Lin: then he stood next to me for the longest time ever
May Lin: then there were girls approached and mingled with him

blademaine: ooohh jadi Pak Pacak, but you purposely ignored. Lakonan yang terra!

May Lin: but still he stood next to me and judging from his body language , he was trying to strike up a conversation
May Lin: and he just poke me at the waist n asked simple questions
May Lin: we bond after that

blademaine: yeala sampai Frenchie, crazy woman you!

May Lin: ingat the kl tower sling shots which we so wanna take??
May Lin: he ajak me get more drinks , so we walked to the counter and the ride is just infront of us and to take the ride too and we did. During the ride , he held my hand

blademaine: u WENT WITHOUT MEEE
blademaine: yes, the one we saw frm the window of The Soi Restaurant

May Lin: we saw the reverse bungee sort of thing in menara kl?

blademaine: yes

May Lin: yup, so we took the ride
May Lin: when the rave about to finish, can see the fella panicking that he still havent have my contact number
May Lin: the whole time , we didnt exchange contact info
May Lin: till the end, he pretended to casually ask ...but i can see he tengah nervous

blademaine: u can read ppl's gestures aaa now, proud of you mamah!
blademaine: What's the name la?

May Lin: lepas tu , my friend wanted to lepak somewhere
May Lin: he tak tahu malu , he ajak himself. His name is Bradley
May Lin: work as financial advisor

blademaine: oooo hello Mrs. Brad!

May Lin: fellow damm farnee..he taught me how to speak like an English.
May Lin: okie...back to the cerita, his frens who noticed whats happening doesn't seem happy at first.
May Lin: sebab, they wanted to get my frens.... end up tak dapat, yet he gets entertained by me.
May Lin: jadi , bila dia nak ikut, his frens sort of pulled a long face
May Lin: so, i didnt know how to turn Brad down. But Brad was smart...he saw my face like that..he immediately asked his friends instead for permission to tag along IN FRONT OF ME, so obviously they can't say no.

blademaine: smart fella
blademaine: hmmm.... I like him already. Skinny or thick?

May Lin: at the pub, there are some errmmmmm cheeky girls i tak kenal tapi like pretend to kenal me (friend punya friend)

blademaine: just so that she can speak to him too? Or they think you mama san for white gigolos?

May Lin: she come u know like hi hi and wanna hug hug all...( sebab i dgn mat salleh kot), like so poyo gila!
May Lin: then Brad sensed that the girls dont even know my name went and told them
"Her name is Lin btw"
May Lin: it was damm farnee and malu for the girl

blademaine: Dang! He turns me on already. Can we share? Eh, those chics really got no finesse la, came from Bukit mana ah?

May Lin: haiyaa..if i wanna cerita about him..i kenot stop
May Lin: memang aku excited sikit
May Lin: my friends were dancing 'salsa' and i told him that i just loved the way they dance
Brad straight away pulled me to the dance floor but he sucks at it ( hahhha). He promise to learn the steps within my 3 weeks time in europe.

blademaine: ok if u marry him I want to give speech. How many hours was this?

May Lin: then we show the movie before sunset. It's from 10:30pm to 4am!

blademaine: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

May Lin: ehhh...me gonna go breakfast soon with my bro
May Lin: will have lots of time in the internet....

blademaine: k. Take Care Mrs. Brad!

(That white idiot better find her name card and call her by this week. I told May Lin to set her brain to set the universe to turn on Paksi 0.80 degrees which will make Brad teringat dia punya name card and terus call. Becossss...... I wanna meet him too.)

Sex Outside the City - Part 1

2006-10-11T08:32:00.000+08:00

People, by know you'll notice that if I am on a certain subject, I'd delve in it for many many weeks.

Here's about a close gal, May Lin. She had a big breakup after a long courtship almost a year ago, her mother has been away in Canada since she was in primary school. She looks after her father, her granny and her dogs all by herself. So I guess that made me sorta looked after her like my own little sister.

See, at work since the past many years, we were such a happy family. UNNTILLL the new boss came in just 6 months back. We're all going through a big turbulence or is it better to call our situation, 'smelling the silent fart'... whichever. To cut the story short, someone upper is one hellufa looney.

Whenever crisis happens at work, this is when people will always reflect on the purpose they work, is this all there is for us, is it too late to join the circus yada, yaada. Well, in short, this is one of the instances we ask what's our PFE.

So, being someone who haven't travelled much, May Lin decided to relieve herself from all the pretence she sees at work to see what the world out there could offer her.

She travelled to UK for 3 weeks. In my mind, I knew she needed to do her soul searching... but tolooonglah dia jumpa soul orang lain sekali, that's all I wish for, that someone will share the happiness with her.

We chatted when she reached Switzerland and I wasn't that interested about what she sees as much as if she had met someone and chatted her 13 hours journey away with.
****************
May Lin: You know what... I can't wait to tell you this. I met someone BEFORE I flew off la.
White guy.
[though she had always belittle Asian girls swooning themselves around white guys in the clubs]

blademaine: Waattt??? Dia orang mana?

May Lin: orang London!

blademaine: i think it's fate man, you meet a London boy before going there. God's dropping you hints.

May Lin: it was a blast

blademaine: kissed or not?

May Lin: tapi like the movie before sunset, we lost contact

blademaine: laaaaa

May Lin: yea..we frenched

blademaine: WAT? It's too early laaa. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, he's thaaat engaging eeeh. I'm proud of you woman. I so dream of just kissing someone silly in the first meet and then disappear forever.

May Lin: he is damm cute , as in action..
May Lin: he asked permission to hold my hand all. He is only 26

blademaine: I approve and agree!!!

May Lin: lepas tu , i gelak kat dia....

blademaine: u how old again, 27?

May Lin: i mean i cant say no and i cant say yes. Aku 25 plus plus laaaaaaaa

blademaine: THAT'S IT! IT'S FATED! NO CHANGE! Go find him back!.... and marry by December please.

May Lin: lepas tu , he held my hand,,,then he whispered to me that this is actually not the first time he held my hand....
May Lin: when we sat the ride , he already held my hand...hahahahhahahah

blademaine: Ok, let's see if my intuition is right. My hunch is, you'll end up with a white bloke. No matter what you do to resist it.

May Lin: i will cerita more when i come back

blademaine: you cannot get along with Cinapek one.

May Lin: hard for me describe it here.. but it's really a wonderful and sweet memory

blademaine: ok set don't change your man

May Lin: like i said in the mail, he came up to me..i didnt even notice him

blademaine: ye laaa yelaaaaa saham tinggiiiiiiii ok laaaaaaaa

May Lin: hahahahhahahahahahhaa the first meeting was just too great but prolly wont have a second chance. Just like Before Sunset movie.

blademaine: WHAT THE HELLL??? no way

May Lin: he joked that the second time , we prolly will be doing bungee jumping

[see, the ride they were on is the Sling Shot depan KL Tower]

blademaine: bring me to meet him after your 4th meeting

May Lin: i dont have his contact number lerr

blademaine: find him in the same club la

May Lin: it was a rave party in menara KL kalau ada fate ,see how la. He's got my business card

blademaine: okeh I swear he'd hunt you down.

May Lin: but problem is , ...my phone died off. So i wouldnt know if he called

blademaine: OI, charger cheap there laaaa. DIS iiisss DRAMA

May Lin: if he call and i missed it so that's it....cause he told me that he knew i wont answer his call
May Lin: it so like the movie!!!!!

May Lin: i tried buying a charger, but not compatible, now i am using my bro's phone but this is after 12 days of meeting him....

blademaine: he will call when u come back, and ask u out FOR SURE!

May Lin: tapi dia tidak tahu bila i balik, i hope too he will call

blademaine: playboy factor or husband factor?

May Lin: tak playboy! when we r at the party, my friend actually noticed him so she ask us to check him out....

TO BE CONTINUED.

The Theory of Exponential Numbers

2006-09-27T12:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes kan.. we hear people resigning from their high paying jobs because they want to fulfil their dreams. I remember someone who bought a landcruiser, left everything and drove around Asia for two years. I think Chef Wan can make a good example. He obtained his Degree in Accountancy for his parents although his real dream is to be a cook. And he pursued it! The combination of Accounting knowledge and cooking made him a fantastic F&B man, clever at maintaining the right and fresh food stocks, make the best of what's available and made sure it suits the taste of targetted market. And do you notice the luck rate? They always make it!

Tis relates to the discussion on the challenges people might face when they're trying to fulfil their PFE (Purpose for Existing).

"...suppose you're letting people know about something you're trying to do that will help fulfil your PFE. If you talk to ten people, and they each talk to ten and it keeps going, before long you have a whole bunch of people who potentially will help you", says Casey.

"But why would they be willing to help me? I mean, I don't know anyone who passes along chain letters. What would motivate people to talk with others about what I'm trying to do?" John wondered.

"John," she said, "Those people you thought of when we started this conversation, the ones who are working to fulfill their PFEs, how does it feel when you interact with them?"

"It feels great. You can't help but get caught up in their passion and enthusiasm for what they are doing. You just feel like you want to help them."

...... they seem so... on the right path.

Excerpt from Why Are You Here Cafe.

Point44, how is it that you managed to put a sizeable portfolio in the internet, featured in the press in a span of 1/2 a year when you were even blogging blind?
Life is definitely different right? And you strive to improve in this area. Kitaorang pun nak start kecil-kecilan jugak. Check this out. But we surely won't do it to make money, there's something else we want to venture into and hope one day soon it will materialise.

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

2006-09-15T14:45:00.000+08:00

Why is it when we hear about someone so passionate about what he does and become famous for it dies we have this... sad is sure it.. but..more of that sore turbulence in our chests?

Everone's sad and wonder why is it that he had to go at such a young age. I'm talking about Steve Irwin.

In retrospect, I think it is ourselves that we're subconsciously reflecting. Even if I'm given 3 extra lives I can't guarantee I could cover as much as Steve did in his under average lifespan.

He could have done more? Animal Planet channel was articulated by him. His continuous movements and the want to share more with the world had him and wife less interested in having kids... but they finally fulfilled that calling and have two beautiful babies.

"Do you fear death?" asked Anne. "Most people do. As a matter of fact it is one of the most common fears people have."

"I don't know, I replied." "It seems like there's a lot to do in life, and I don't want to die before I have a chance to do all the things I want. But death isn't something I think about every day."

People who haven't asked themselves the question you saw on the menu, and haven't taken the steps to fulfill their PFE with what they want to do,"... Anne looked at me and paused... "those people fear death," she said.
Excerpt, The Why Are You Here Cafe - John P. Strelecky

Steve's surely a man who had fulfilled his Purpose for Existing (PFE). So I really bet that we are sad for ourselves while he had died smiling--he made a difference to the world, and what he left will continue his legacy in many good ways.

This book's story pattern is just like 'Before Sunset', not in the way that it is a love story, rather in the way that the plot all happens continuously within 24 hours or so and there's no intense character build-up. Just conversational and deep thoughts.

If you have been wondering what is your Purpose of Existence, I tell ya darlings, it is more than discovering God and religion! And this is what we have to discover first to avoid ending up suddenly becoming overzealous and subsequently become complacent (it's always the case isn't it?) about the joy of being alive.

I had the priviledge of reading this book to my loved one while I was in Phuket. I don't know about him, but I know he sensed that I was holding back my tears at the end of story, not because it has a sad story line, not at all. Part of it is probably because I am grateful for finally being on the path towards fulfilling another one of my PFE.

It now answered one thing, I wondered why I still couldn't shut down this blog. It fulfills part of my PFE, I don't want to exist and just fulfill things for just myself.

It's All in the Delivery Method.

2006-09-07T11:55:00.000+08:00

"Apa la kedai ni, so not strategic, they should open an outletla at least in Maju Junction or on Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman, easier for the customers!" Mummy was complaining - it's just normal for an old lady who can't find her way through the twisting KL roads.

"Melayu ni tak pandai betul berniaga. Siapa nak datang sampai terperosok dalam Kampung Bharu ni?"

I just kept quiet. The shop we're trying to reach is known even by the Singaporean market. We finally reached our destination, the place that even serves a lot of VIPs in town. It's still sheltered by 'atap zink', a small 900 sq feet shop but is very well lit, air conditioned and organized product display. The shop signage is probably just about the size of 2 feet x 1 feet. I passed that road many times before and I swear I had never noticed it.

We spent 2 hours there and mummy was very impressed with what she saw. She even ended up ordering what's beyond her budget!

When we headed back into the car, I said to her "See, if the workmanship is good and provided they just stay put, I guess the Feng Shui lies in words of mouth?"

*******

"I'm not sure if it cang (can) work or nok (not) but if it cang (can) you buy me a jarge (jug) of beer. Okeh!" That's one of my colleagues, a manager. He has a great problem with expressing himself in proper English and by far, using the right grammar. The few GM's who served our company looked down on him for the way he speaks, they just tune-out.

And this guy has worked his way through another position as a Manager in a well known Semiconductor company in Singapore, came back and still speak the same way, no improvement at all. Yet... the delivery of his broken English served better than those who speaks well. Why.... it's all the passion and sincerity we see in his eyes when he explains even through his occassional stuttering.

*******

Some people say, in this country if we can't speak English, it is difficult to get a job, if you get a job, you'll have difficulties climb up the ladder. There are so many talented Engineering Drawing, Photography experts, gadget Mechanics out there, who can't speak English. Correct me if I'm wrong if some of you are interviewers who suffer brain and heart aches seeing misfits and mismatch of talents. Boleh buat kerja tapi tak boleh speak English, average skills tapi boleh speak English, nak hire mana satu?

I may digress left to right, because lately I haven't the time to think how to arrange my points.

Look at Saiful Nang, his grammar may not be perfect, but who can disqualify him from running his own business. Look at Bernard Chandran, his English bersepah even his French is poor but he made it there and here. Their customers are those whose education are sky high and carry certain honorifics.

I guess no one will have the rights to look down at us if we try create our own destiny.

Note to Self: We're all stuck in an evil system, trying to be like everyone else--earn monthly salary.

The Malay Dilemma

2006-08-18T08:47:00.000+08:00

Di mana boleh cari ramai Melayu
Pastinya di Kelantan dan Trengganu
Dan juga di pasar malam dan pasar minggu
Di Akademi Fantasia dan Pesta Lagu
Di Jom Heboh orang Melayu berpusu-pusu
Di Sungai Buloh dan sebelum ini di Pudu
Dan di jalan, lumba haram tak buka lampu

Dan di selekoh duit rasuah depa sapu
Di pusat serenti akibat ketagih dadah dan candu
Di malam kemerdekaan dan malam tahun baru

Terkinja-kinja best giler menari macam hantu
Apa hobi orang Melayu
Terkenal dengan budaya malas dan lesu
Berlepak buang masa tak jemu-jemu
Atau baca majalah Mastika cerita hantu
Tengok telenovela dari Filipina dan Peru
Sambil makan junk food kacang dan muruku
Mana tak gendut berpenyakit selalu
Kalau nak berlagak melayu nombor satu
Asal bergaya sanggup makan nasi dan toyu
Boleh tak jumpa mereka di kedai buku

Atau di perpustakaan dan majlis ilmu
Atau ambil kelas kemahiran di hujung minggu
Ada tapi kurang sangat ke situ
Kenapa Melayu jadi begitu
Nak salahkan sapa ibubapa atau guru
Pemimpin negara atau raja dulu-dulu

Ayat lazim di mulut ialah malas selalu
Nak harap kerajaan saja bantu
Terutama sekali kontraktor kelas satu
Tak habis-habis gaduh nak jatuh sapa dulu
Dan suka sangat dengan budaya mengampu

Sampai bila kita nak tunggu
Bangsa Melayu jadi bangsa termaju
Boleh, dengan beberapa syarat tertentu
Pertama dengan banyak menguasai ilmu
Kata nabi ikutlah al Quran dan sunnah ku
AlQuran yang diturunkan 1400 tahun dulu
tapi apakah yang kita tahu,
cuma baca nak halau hantu

Wasallam

Forwarded email from Poncho.
I want to know who's the real author of the above.

***
Do you know that Shakira, the Hips Don't Lie singer had her dance talent through genetic memory? I read a book whereby her dad told how she danced at the age of 3 on a restaurant table to a Spanish song as if something went into her because she couldn't have seen the steps before and no one had even taught her.

They said that super expressive behaviour among the Indians is something genetic. It shows through their Bharatha Natyam dance and hundreds of sexual Karma Sutra positions which even involves movement of eye lids, eye balls, toes and flexing of the stomach muscles as outlets to relieve their emotions for constantly being in the darkest depression thousands of years ago.

They said that the instincts to keep making money among the Chinese is something genetic too even if they may have not find the time to use it in this lifetime. No matter where they go, it is a standard modus operandi which keeps their togetherness in all the Chinatowns in the world.

There are so many types of Malays, our heritage dance steps which is so LEMAH gemalai and repetitive does reflect the way we express ourselves then. Are the Malays in Brunei, Indonesia, Thailand, Myanmar the same and suffer/inherit the same type of genetic memory?

If the only two races in the world that 'melatah' (the repetitive problem again) are the Malays and the Eskimos, does it mean we are related is some ways? How is it that it is in our genetic memory when we are so far away?

Ikhlas Seni Kian Pupus.

2006-08-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

"You punya cartoon tu membina akal, you tau tak? And sekarang ni tak jumpa lagi pengganti -- second liner.... pfftttt!!"

"Iye ke? I just want to draw."

That's Ujang for you. Till today dia tak kaya-kaya.

"I won't charge designing fee. You just tell me your budget, I will work around it. If I can't use French Silk, I will use Japanese Silk but you will get the same effect, don't worry. Let me show you the difference, I don't cheat my customers."

"What else do you want? I can give you many phone numbers, why don't I call one now for you -- you nak yang contemporary punya ke yang macam mana?"

That's Calvin Thoo for you. Till today you don't see him driving flashy cars, being sticky with appointments. He doesn't even start conversations with customers by asking, "So you kerja kat mana?" in order to know if he could slaughter your neck. In fact he would sit down for hours for a chat exchanging more views and learning your personality and if you are lucky, you will even get to hear the underskirts of our local celebs.

Kalau pergi dekat designer yang lagi satu kat Putrajaya tu, he will ask, "You anak Tan Sri mana? Kita banyak dateline." Kalau pergi yang dekat Cheras tu, "You pilih kain yang kita ada ni la." And they showed me some cheapo looking fabrics in gordy colours only immitation Mak Datin in blonde would wear and then have the cheek to charge me a bomb.

"Okay boleh, ini semua portfolio gambar-gambar kita. You boleh masuk kita punya studio baru, White Room kat dalam tu. Jom! I will take your picture for free, you tengok effect dia macamana. Tempat ni in Malaysia tak da lagi tau. Now you dah jadi kita punya customer, you boleh datang bila-bila aje, kita akan snap your photos for free dalam studio ni."

That's Adi Nang and Saiful Nang for you. They are super busy and already earning in Pound Sterling yet they reply your email and answer the phone with so much courtesy. They conduct many free photography courses for the youth and have so much fun.

Isn't it nice too to be able to meet businessmen who makes money from you but at the same time become good friends?

Wut an Agony, Wut a Shayme!

2006-07-19T17:48:00.000+08:00

A trip to Singapore recently made me realised how limited our choices here are.
One Utama, The Curve, Mid Valley, Sunway Pyramid are the many shopping spots, tapi seeeemuaaaa jual benda sama. You have the same G2000, MNG, Giordano, British India, Edmundser... everything lah. You've to one you've gone to them all.

All taylors provide the same cutting and the same colour scheme and everyone has it. Apasal pegi keje kena pakai colour brown, grey, black and light blue aje ke?

And then it doesn't help that in IT industry, people are way un-flamboyant. Yet I'm in it for the past 9 years, patutla my mind is still in black and white.

It doesn't help when everybody buys the same black skirt from either Comma or G2000 and the top... standard RM29 per piece cardigans you can even buy from Giant. Whyyyylaaaa??????

I have been making my rounds to make presentation sessions with customers and it is just so revolting you know... to see women's skinny 'unsunned' feet in flat slippers, half wet hair, clip rambut 20sen beli kat kedai mamak jual suratkhabar, skirt kembang to show they are young at heart tapi all crumpled seribu. Muka tak mandi or is it they haven't been getting it hard up their 'roof'. It's bad enough that everbody's trying to spot the 'rebonding' hair style. Is this a cult?

It just turns me off when I had to wake up, choose a nice skirt, take extra time to scent myself so that while I pass out reading materials nobody will smell my ketiak, wash my hair in the begezzuz cold morning hour and hair dry it neatly, even pick out comfortable undies that is conducive for my movements to see all these IT worklings yang rupa macam terompah hanyut.
Yet I learnt that everybody get fat paychecks in this industry, mana pegi duit diaorang?

I think I better get back to visiting the clubs at night to balance things up.... before I slowly turn into one of them.

Sign,
Holier and Sexier than Thou.

Haaaaaa, lagi satu anger management. I feel so relieved now. Where's Poncho, I feel like beating him up for fun.

A Few Frivolous Things

2006-07-16T19:18:00.000+08:00

It is time I use this blog for some anger management.

Crook-ed Bridge.

"I don't understand. They bother to justify to Mahathir far and wide in the papers. This surely gives him the feeling that he's INCHARGE! coz he gets what he wants."

That comes from the man who looks highly upon Dr. M, Mr Ponchoman.

The public response in retrospect...

"It was him isn't it? It's Pak Lah's thought to hear it out. No wonder there was a big crowd waited at the airport to cheer him", my mom said.

Mummy's been with the government sector all her life.

"Last time, in the meetings, only he speaks and we just take instructions. He gave so many of them that he could forget things; like the APs".

At the back of my mind, this reminds me of what's happening in my workplace, exactly the same scenario coming from a new head. She gives hundreds of instructions and when someone had an idea to moot, it gets dismissed with a hand infront of our nose. She then continues without making much eye contact thus will never know if she is understood nor agreed.

FULL OF THEMSELVES.

Sometimes dear smartchatterbrains, we need to stop and evaluate others' body language. Asians is a bloody shy lot. We'd fidget our face and our shoulders coz something is trying to come out of our mouth but if the gestures don't get noticed, the thoughts will just get swallowed into oblivion.

I guess Pak Lah knows when to stop to 'take the temperature'.

I will need to ask my cats if they are sick of Friskies and Eagle's Pack. Their body gestures might tell me to get top of the line Science Diet. Better pretend they like it.

The best quote I got about leadership

"The man who is worthy of being a leader of men will never complain about the stupidity of his helpers, the ingratitude of mankindmor the inappeciation of the public. These are all a part of the great game of life. To meet them and overcome them and not to go down before them in disgust, discouragement of defeat - that is the final proof of power."

- William J. H. Boetcker

ANAK DATUK AMBIK DADAH.

This is probably my 4th entry about why I think Usop Haslam is such a moron. No other Mini bus drivers had followed his example by diversifying into a film director to obtain Datukship yet, so the title defeated its purpose.

So funny, he directs Gerak Khas and then blames the police for releasing premature results of his son's urine that shows positive results of Shabu and Grass. "Ya atau tidak anak saya ambil dadah itu tak relevan. Dia kata pada saya "Pa, I don't take drugs". Anak saya bukan selalu pergi disko, dia pergi pun sebab saudara dia baru balik dari Russia". Yeaaahhhh riiiighhtt, not another unconvincing drama la Usop!

********************

Tumasik

2006-07-05T08:48:00.000+08:00

Images by the Ponchoman & Maine

I was Changed.

2006-06-21T10:56:00.000+08:00

I remember reading a chain email that says something about the kind of virtues women should find in their life partners (other than wondering if we have one of those ourselves); that he is not just kind to strangers but also to his own parents.

It is a long list, if you get someone who fits all, then you found an angel, you'd enjoy that if you are an angel yourself. If you get someone that fits fairly half of them, i think it is fair to say you've met someone as imperfect as you are --which is just perfect!

Long ago I thought these philosophical mumbo jumbos are made out by people who had sky high expectations. But now when I look at it without cynical thoughts, I think the meaning is quite simple and acceptable. It is easy to portray kindness to strangers. But to pretend to be kind to one's own parents?

It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognising that
their feelings towards other people are largely determined by their feelings
towards themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be
comfortable with others.

- Sydney J. Harris.

You, you make no mistake
You take everything I ever wanted into account
When you walk into the room
You give room breathing room
Talk and turn never too late or too soon

You are poetry in motion
You inspire power and devotion
You are the turning of the tide underneath
You are the potential in me

You are the first one that I wish to tell
Everything that matters, matters because you reflect it back so well,
You see understanding wherever you are standing
Between reason and passion - balance

You are my strongest link
You are everything I ever wanted to be

You are poetry in motion
You inspire power and devotion
You are the turning of the tide underneath

By Leann Rimes

Life is indeed so interesting.

Changing the Right Things.

2006-06-12T12:47:00.000+08:00

We are blessed with these.

And live up to an average of just 70 years.

So how should we let these gifts consumed? By obtaining the highest power, by evolving into masculine figures, are we ever satisfied (the breast size, the money, the man, the attention)...?

How do we let ourselves weathered? Are they things that help us to grow old gracefully?

Behind every succesful man is a woman?

Can we make our man change for the sakes of our people? Can we whisper our wishes for the world free against war to him before he goes to bed everyday? Can we tell him that money is ~~not~~ everything but it's not as important as family'd unison and dignity?

Or are we just good at turning marriages into an instant get-rich scheme?

How can we give everything to him, to this world? Through being self centered or selfless?

Good, Clean, Penny Wise Fun.

2006-06-05T11:18:00.000+08:00

How about paying RM14 for a bottle of this compared with for a can of Coke?

Actually, I haven't been an avid clubber for a couple of years after my Zaman Kembali ke Pangkal Jalan 5 years ago. But when Bar Savanh opened, we frequent the place once a month as we found it to be a great place to bump into old friends, listen to nostalgic melodies and there are parts and corners in the club where you can still sit down and enjoy a decent conversation.

But what sucks always is that my conversations is always accompanied with either a flat glass of Coke or a geeky glass of Pussy Foot. So you know, paying RM14 for a Coke and RM17 for a mocktail surely kills half of the fun - one starts to feel like a second class citizen just because one doesn't drink alcohol.

The bar tender will say things like, "The faster you get drunk, the faster you get to the dance floor!". That's bullshit. One doesn't need to hide behind a facade to enjoy oneself???!!!

I am just wondering why club owners can't be more thoughtful. Sure Carlsberg, Tiger and JD sponsors some of their events, but not Coke!

Note the difference:

Beer per mug (happy hour) approx: RM8.00

Beer per mug (other hours) approx: RM16.00

Coke (all soft drinks) at all time: RM11-14

C'mon club owners don't need to be prejudice over non-alcoholic customers eih? It doesn't mean we don't want to spend money for your ambience and entertainment.

Have you guys tried Bundaberg range of soft drinks? Who ain't a sucker for great packaging. But this things tastes as good as it looks.

If you wanna enjoy it at home, you can buy them in Cold Storage, I buy them mostly from the one in Great Eastern Mall and the supermarket in Bangsar Village. It's about RM4.70 per bottle. In the clubs, I don't think anyone would mind being charged RM11-14 per bottle for it as it offers a different flavour, a different attitude.

I remember drinking a non-alcoholic beer in Mofaz go-cart circuit in Sg. Penchala. The taste is exactly just like the real thing.

You'll be surprised how many tudung wearing gals seek good music nowadays. I wonder who'd dare to open up non-alcohol clubs in the near future.

And yeah, if Oxygen Bar in Bangsar works, you think juice bars in the clubs might work too?

Oh! Another gripe, for not having a need to 'open bottle', we can never get to book a decent place to rest our asses. RM280 - RM360 per whisky bottle! Not like it's tasty. Sell la those non-alcoholic wine, at least we have something.

Happy?

2006-06-01T13:38:00.001+08:00

What makes you happy?

My good friend F told me recently:

“Poncho, you know what makes me happy? When you get up on a Sunday morning with the morning sun rays through the window and the sound of your baby gurgling to himself in the crib and looking at your husband face gently snoozing by your side”

A reknown management guru told me very recently:

“follow your bliss, do whatever makes you happy”

So to each, his own.

Sometimes you get challenges thrown to you in droves at some point of life. You really take a beating and start to ask questions why you are being targeted for such challenges when you feel that it is totally unjustified.

In such circumstances, when there’s no one else to depend on but yourself, you even surprise yourself. When the chips are really, really down you need to tell yourself that it would all pass and its just momentarily. Once you’ve passed through that phase and look back you will say “damn, I’m proud of myself” and you end up being a better, stronger and calmer person. Only then would you be able to see that life ought to be lived to the fullest and the petty things don’t really matter.

And you know what? It really feels damn good looking at it from the outside in the end. The sun does really shine in the end.

Sigh.

For once, I am truly and really happy.

*Ponchoman

He Foretells!

2006-05-19T15:25:00.000+08:00

So much has happened. So much happiness, unuttered thoughts, ups and downs, my more actions & less talk, diligently listening, diligently trying, at times misunderstood intentions – the easiest thing to happen as I am just too lazy to explain my depths; not towards the blind hearted, everything is in such speedy pace, everything.

Character analysing is the most amusing thing, at the same time can be draining to the core.

I miss my corner, I miss my bubble; rolling in bed, ponder, reading the toiletry bottles in the bathroom and don’t end up bathing at all, flip old magazines, to the wet market alone and cook one or two silly dishes, curled on the sofa and watch the family and cats dilly dally, increase the shoe collection, write.

Guess the only time I have to be able to listen to myself is when I’m in my car – one hour to and one hour back.

The one I adored so much who had passed on burnt me so many CDs. Those I never bothered to listen while he was still around, when life was even much more handful and heedful. I played other CDs and they never failed to lift me up, with the right words, on the right time.

There’s one more that I haven’t played which was kept in the CD sleeve for two years! – one more.

"That's The Way It Is"
I can read your mind and I know your story
I see what you're going through
It's an uphill climb, and I'm feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you

Don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love
When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it

And that's the way it is

When you question me for a simple answer
I don't know what to say, no
But it's plain to see, if you stick together
You're gonna find a way, yeah
So don't surrender 'cause you can win

In this thing called love
(Chorus)
When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call

Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow'
Cause love's gonna conquer it all, all

(Chorus x 2)

That's the way it is, That's the way it is, babe

Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is.

How do you knowwwwww you special thing??? I am now lifted to go on with this journey I know is worthwhile. I guess I felt the way I feel because it dawns upon me that selfishness is creeping in. Thank you - you….!

HYSTERIA!

2006-05-18T09:41:00.000+08:00

A nervous affection, occurring almost exclusively in women, in which the emotional and reflex excitability is exaggerated, and the will power correspondingly diminished, so that the patient loses control over the emotions, becomes the victim of imaginary sensations, and often falls into paroxysm or fits.
[Webster1913]

I work in a plant which employs 5000 people. All of us are cramped up in a manufacturing area bursting at its’ seams working in 3 shifts 24 hours, seven days a week. Such confined areas are a always a hotspot for abnormal human behaviour which includes hysteria.

Some plants even have an SOP on how to deal with hysteria cases, mine included.

It is kind of surreal to walk into a production area and see young women rolling around the floor screaming. Any SOP on hysteria would state that the first thing that you do is to isolate the victim as it would only takes minutes for it to become a Mexican wave and soon you get others screaming and rolling on the floor. This would then become as safety issue and there are a lot of sharp and electrical machineries on the floors and the last thing you would want to have to getting them electrocuted or injured. Once this happens, we would first evacuate the other workers out of the line and then bring the victim to the recuperating area at the First Aid Centre. Isolation is paramount.

No doubt, there will be never be a dearth of pro bono soothsayers, bomohs and the lot in trying to help out.

However, I have noticed that nearly all mass hysteria cases happen in confined areas and on young women. This is not exclusive to workplace areas such as production lines but also in hospitals, school hostels and even National Service camps. All of these areas have a common factor- there are all areas where people are confined.

So yesterday, I had a long chat with the new big Kahuna who had just surpassed his 72 hours in the plant. He told me an interesting theory on this mass hysteria phenomenom.

Many years ago, he had a similar case in his plant. The first thing he did was to ask his workers to get rid of all the pro bono soothsayer and bomohs out of the area. Then he ordered the evacuation to the non- hysterical employees out of the lines into the cafeteria.

Then he would grab the hysterical employees one by one and literally drag them into the sick bay in front of all and sundry while whispering a “jampi” (prayer) in the ears. Almost immediately after his prayer, the victim would suddenly regain consciousness and become all meek and docile.

So what did he whisper into their ears? It was this:

“OK, just cool it. If you behave I shall give you an unrecorded day off tomorrow from work”.

“Its all about understanding human behaviour, mate. They are just stressed up in confined areas and this is a form of reaction. Give, them a free day off and they will automatically become normal. Its nothing to do with the spirits or ghosts. They just want a break”

Hmmmm………..I’m impressed, new big Kahuna…..you the man!

* Words of the Ponchoman *

Piccadilly Reunion Moments.

2006-05-08T08:54:00.000+08:00

Improvised: 9th May.

It's own dance moves, It's own Jim and Kishore taste of music, the best club lay out.

Someone said to me that some things are just best in its time.

Hasnol and committee have undoubtedly done a good job. Who doesn't want free entrance. But next time charge it people! It's not duit mak bapak kitaorang yang terbang anymore, we now earn our own money. It doesn't help the business too if there's not enough waiters.

In this case, I think it's just a matter of getting the DeeJays to do a better homework.

Kishore, Jim etc you guys couldn't find your LP's/CD's ke?

When four DeeJays are arranged to play the music, the possibilities of the songs being replayed is inevitable. The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine - Four Tops dua kali, Don't Look Any Further - M People 2 kali, Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega 2 kali... aiseeyyyy boleh selit Never Gonna Give U Up - Rick Astley pulak of all things!

So what happened was, we danced a bit, we stood waiting a bit, we tried to figure out what's the next song many times....

We felt as if we were foreplayed for hours yet we couldn't climax.

Anyways, it's nice to see familiar faces. This time, my 'family' has progressed. My "family" as in my goodfriend, Shali's siblings of three (two girls, one boy). Shali came with her husband but one thing doesn't change, she still needs 1 1/2 hours to put on her make-up. Shak could drive and boy was she early - arrived 1/2 an hour after me.

Where's all your girlfriends?. I was referring to Shak's pose of porcelain skinned friends whom she goes clubbing with.

Shak: They said "Eiiiiiyaaaa so Melayuuuuu", so I said "Forget it! You all are Cantons!".

"You know what? I was just 14 when I started this!"

Dulu selalu turn up lambat and kononnya in-style macam Paris Hilton tak apa, sekarang tak boleh buat perangai tu, we're not young 'cikus' who can stand-up "circuslistically" for 4 hours. I do miss setting the mood while dressing up by playing the songs first in Shali's room or at least in Wij's (the loyal driver's) car.

The whole DV8 bunch of people, Edmund-DV8 owner now sports short hair (dah baik sejak bukak The Social @ Bangsar), Kudin with this trademark stoned face and the whole pose made me reminisce both Picad and DV8 years at the same time. After 10 years, obviously many are married with kids, but I wonder if anyone could beat AC Mizal who now has 4 kids I think. He wasn't around tho.

Anyways, we have turned into Minah skema, went back at 7pm sharp. This idea of making Tea Dance a comeback is good in many ways which I don't need to explain here. I'm so happy I get to take my time at washing my hair before I go to sleep and still get to sit down for a decent dinner before reaching home at 8:30pm.

To the DeeJays, here's a list of songs Poncho had purged out of his brains (he's still hung up lagu "I Thought You Were the One For Me" tak keluar.)

1. Informer - Snow

2. New Jack Swing

3. Every Little Step I Take - Bobby Brown

4. 3 AM Eternal - The KLF

5. Dreams - Gabrielle

6. I Wish - Gabrielle (this is my anthem)

7. Im Looking For New Love Baybe - Jody Watley

8. When Will I Be Famous - Bros

9. Jump - Kriss Kross

10. All Around the World - Lisa Stansfield

11.Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice

12.You Don't Have to Take Your Clothes Off - Jermaine Stewart

13.I Got the Power - SNAP

14.This Beat is Technotronic - Technotronic

15.Dangerous - Roxette

16.Sadeness -Enigma

17.Set Adrift on Memory Bliss - PM Dawn (mana boleh lagu ni takdee??)

18.Summertime - Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

19.O.P.P - Naughty by Nature

20.Motownphilly - Boyz II Men (Mo..town philly back aaagain!)

21.All 4 Love - Color Me Badd

22. Let's Talk About Sex - Salt N' Pepaa

23.Here We Go Let's Rock n Roll - C&C Music Factory

24. Good Vibrations - Marky Mark

25. Play that Funky Music - Vanilla Ice

26. You Can't Touch This - MC Hammer

27. Girl I've Been Hurt Now - Snow

28. Sweet for my Sweet.. Sugar from my heart.. - CJ Lewis

29. This is the right time - Lisa Standsfield

30. Rhythm is a Dancer - Snap

31. Girl You Know It's True - Milli Vanilli

Add:

32. Hello Africa, No Coke, It's My Life - Dr. Alban

33. Ain't Nobody - Chaka Khan

34. Tease Me - Chaka Demus

35. Lovely Day - Bill Withers

36. How Gee - Black Machine (teenet tet tenet tet tet tet!)

37. I've Got a Little Something For You - MN8

38. Searchin' - China Black

39. Live and Learn - Joe Public

40. For the Cool in You - Babyface

41. R to the A to the G to the G to the Aaaa - CJ Lewis

42. Tina Turner's 'I dont wanna fight' remix by them is sth amazing, it's like they made it possible for such an old non disco singer to qualify in their list of songs.

43. Breakout - Swing Out Sister

44. Oh Carolina - Shaggy

Poncho, you da man! Apasal lu tak mintak keje jadi part time DeeJay? I suggest your nickname will be 'The Nerd'. We ended up singing those songs ourselves to pacify our thoughts that we could get overwhelmed at Grand Modestos.. which didn't happen.

Maybe we were deaf, I don't know. But I didn't hear any of the above songs while I was there 3:30pm till 7pm. Anybody knows what they played after that?

Did they end with slow songs for slow dance like Sejati by Wings?

Will I go again every week? Maybe for specific occassions once or twice a year, my lungs can't take the smoke anymore, hate loud conversations too.

Legal Grass.

2006-05-03T09:38:00.000+08:00

Know What We Eat.

The creeping fig (Ficus pumila). Without pruning, a single plant can envelop a four-story building!

In China, the syconia of creeping figs are picked ripe and placed in a porous bag to squeeze out the juice. The juice is cooked and then cooled into a gelatinous consistency called "pai-liang-fen." This jellylike material is cubed, mixed with water, syrup and flavorings and consumed as a refreshing drink. It is canned and sold in Asian markets as "grass jelly" of "ai-yu jelly."

But ,one of the most common plants used to make grass jelly is an herb in the mint family called Lamiaceae.

Now my curiosity on mana datangnya air cincau is finally answered. All this while, I was told that it is a kind of seaweed. This goes to say, we shouldn't easily believe everything we hear.

Somewhere within my blog, I have shared my answered curiosties about Truffles (mushroom) and whether it is halal to be eaten by Muslims as it is hunted down by dogs and swines, about what wasabi is made out of, how petai tree looks like, how vanilla essense is derived and how the hanger for a comb of banana looks like.

I was even given the wrong information by the chefs about how scallops are derived. They told me it is the ligamen that holds bigger species cockel meat to its shell. I discovered that the 50 cents sized seafood meat IS the integral part of the shelled seafood instead of it just being the ligamen.